not to tell XP DS's GCSE results?

[mumof4sons]

XP has texted me 3/4 times asking for GCSE results. DS not bothered whether his father knows or not and hasn't bothered to text/contact him himself.

I am not on good terms with XP and turn into raving loony whenever I text, email or talk to him, so am really trying to avoid doing anything.

I am not over the fact that he walked out on a 20 year marriage and 4 DSs for a married whore who is 15 years younger than him. I am currently going through a bitter divorce with XP.

What would you do?

OP, what have you decided?

If it were me i would tell him ,just as i have told anyone who would listen my sons results which whilst not spectacular are plenty good enough for sixth form . You have every right to be angry /bitter / utterly fucked off with your exdh ,but try not to let this cloud your judement when it comes to your children and their lives . As others have said text him the results and leave it at that .

Your son's Dad is interested in your son's education. That is a good thing. Lots of men who leave the mothers of their 4 children take no further interest in the children's futures or needs - financial, emotional, educational, etc.

So, sorry he left you, but really pleased to hear that he still cares about the children. Consider yourself lucky (relatively speaking) - he's not trying to kill you, he still cares about his children... don't sabotage that - let him know the results.

Tell him in the most basic way as others have suggested subject + result.

My Mum and Dad divorced when I was little. My Dad acted like a complete and utter childish ar*e througout the next 10 years of my life. My Mum rose above it all, never said a bad word against him even when he didn't turn up for visits and we were sobbing or when we came home from visits being rude and vile because he had encouraged us. As I got older I started to be able to see this and in the end decided that he was a horrid, spineless, pathetic little man who I no longer wanted anything to do with. My Mum on the other hand has massive amounts of respect from me for rising above it all and being such a wonderful woman in the face of what was thrown at her.

Hold back on the raving loony bit and keep telling yourself you are doing it for your children. One day they will realise and appreciate it.

I worded my message very unsympathetically late last night. I'd like to amend it: I'm really sorry your relationship ended when you have 4 children together, and understand that you don't want direct communication with him.

However, you don't say whether the son who has just received his GCSE results is the youngest or not, and if he isn't then this situation could be repeated unless you can bring yourself to have functional communication with your childrens' father about the childrens' needs.

Also when I said you are fortunate relatively speaking I meant compared to those whose exes are even worse than yours; obviously you are really unfortunate compared to someone happily married to their lifetime soulmate. It's perfectly understandable if bitterness or disappointment prevent you replying to him. Apologies for expressing myself so bluntly in my original posting. I'm going to stop digging the hole now.

Just tell him. Least he's taken an interest. Hell he'sasked 3 or4 times for the results. Thats 3 or 4 times more than my dad asked for mine....