AIBU to insist on clarks shoes for 13 yr old dd

[ThatVikRinA22]

she says i am

i say its not negotiable. clarks do some nice trendy ballet shoe type efforts now in any case. last year hers lasted ages, were so comfy i would have nicked them for myself. they were lovely and trendy, little ballet slippers with a stone on the front with a dainty little strap across....nothing not to like and almost the same as anything you could pick up in New Look

when i was 13 i was wearing shoes 2 sizes too small. i never got my feet measured and i never got new shoes. im pretty insistent on having decent well fitting shoes for DD, who is sulking cos clarks shoes just are not kool...she is a size bigger than i am now but a very narrow fit.

aibu?

I passed my 11 plus and went to a posh Grammar School back in the Stone Ages , the only one of 5 kids in my family to do so. I know it's irrelevant today but it was a big deal back then and kind of explains why, although we were hard up, my mum was determined to get me the best she could uniform wise so I wouldn't look out of place with the more well-to-do kids. This included a pair of Clark's 'Go Girl' shoes (about 30 quid even back then), which style wise, would actually be quite fashionable today (flat, ballet style pumps, with a low heel and a little bar across) but back then they were anything but.

I hated the bloody things and kicked the shit out of them (literally) by playing football with the local kids in the park in mud, rain and allsorts but would they wear out, would they hell! I didn't even grow out of them, as they had been measured with the 'growth' area and my feet hardly seemed to grow those first couple of years at senior school. They were honestly the best made pair of shoes I have ever owned in my life even though I did everything to them short of setting them on fire.

Oh Vicar, my heart has been beating madly reading this thread.... I am 45 now, but so remember my mum making me wear the Rawcliffes 8 pannelled skirt for school when everyone else wore pencil skirts and I always had to have sensible stuff - mum's line was when I bought and paid for stuff myself then I could wear what I wanted.

I live in York! Perhaps we should meet for a coffee and let your dd just go and get her own shoes....

I have boys so my problem isn't as bad - apart from DS1 (13) wants a Superdry coat to go back to school in.

I am another one who used to remove the untrendy Clarks lace-ups down the road from the house and wear my blue shiny pointy toe shoes to school, changing again on the way home. I did this for two years. Don't make her go to these lengths, go for a compromise solution.

Vicar has already seen the error of her ways

She now wants help finding trendy, narrow fitting shoes he daughter likes and she approves of ....

She needs help - not further bashing :)

Vicar - I've no idea - but good luck!

These are the new teenage range and come in a slimmer width Mizzy

If it's not the shoes they take the piss out of, it'll be something else. They are like that at that age. It's wrong to say she shouldn't make her wear them because she'll get bullied imo.

These are nice

Purple - thanks for the link, Bracelet Link is exactly what I'm looking for :) I think I'll wait until the kids are all back at school though!!

However, I suspect for teenagers, while they may be the range - they wont be 'the rage' - they are still Clarks!!

YABU.

Clarkes shoes are fugly, even for non-trendies like me.
My 8yo is resisting.

ggirl, those brogues are lush. My dd wouldn't war them though.
VIATT, what about these?

Diesel shoes are narrow iirc.

13 was the age when my DD's stopped wanting to wear Ckarkes shoes.It just wasn't cool to wear them. Ilet them buy shoes elsewhere but still insisted I came with them to make sure the shoes fitted priperly. Now at 18 DD3 actually likes some of the Clarkes styles!

Those kangaroos someone posted are nice.

DD is going into yr 9 and is still ok with Clarks.
And she isn't geeky or unfashionable- she needs support round her heel, and ballet pumps just don't fit- fine for weekend occasional wear but hopeless for walking to school in.
I am sure by the end of the year she will be resisting, but at the moment, has got a pair called no glamour- simple one strap.
I remember the hell of Tuf shoes as a child, and worse- having to wear BOYS shoes as no others fit- I was a size 9.
I squeezed my feet into size 8's, ruining my toes.
DD is a 7 and a half, but they haven't grown for 8 months.

Vicar, my mum made we wear clarkes/start rite shoes when I was at senior school and other kids used to follow me around saying 'granny bashers'

The shoes you linked to are nice from a mum perspective, but I am afraid that they are most deffo granny bashers!!!

Soz!

my dd1 is 12 and at her secondery school they don't have to wear shoes, it is acceptable to werainers as long as they are black, have no colour or symbols on them but the girls also have to wear trousers

YANBU. My dd is 13 and in second year of secondary school and has school shoes from Clarks. She walks to and from school and I'm not prepared to buy cheap shoes that last a fortnight and keep having to be replaced.

She also wanted ballet style/flat shoes which I was happy to buy for her,the pair that she actually wanted were the same ones that purple linked to but they start at a size 3 so she couldn't get them as she's only a 2 and a half.

Eventually I managed to get her these which she is quite happy with. I'm thinking of getting a pair for myself for work actually as they look so comfy.

The above are nice, my DD has simelar.

Vicar - I empathise.

DD1 has very narrow size 8 feet and she wore start rites until year 10. Ballet pumps would have been unwearable they just fall off The shoe shopping was always a very tense affair. We alwas tried other shops first until she would eventually concede and go to the start rite stockist. You could try rocket dog, DD has had canvas pumps which fitted ok but she couldn't wear them for school. I'm so glad she is starting 6th form and will be happy with her lace up converse.

Vicar firstly well done for accepting YABU graciously.

As for ideas about shoes I can't help (1ds aged 6!) but those brogues - really? God I remember going to school in those when I wanted nice ballet pumps.

I agree with you about wanting hard wearing shoes but I wondered whether NEXT would do any dd liked. Never bought for me her but my friend swears they are good and ds has had shoes from here that have lasted brilliantly.

I have very thin feet so totally understand that 'slip on' shoes/ballet pumps are going to be difficult for your DD to wear.

Because of this, my mum used to insist I wore the 80's 3-strap shoe that Clarks did, until I was well into my teenage years. It was the sensible thing to do, but I just died of embarrassment. The phrases 'its not a fashion parade' and 'I don't know WHO you think will be worried about YOUR shoes' will go with me to my grave.

FWIW the kangaroo ones from Schuh looked great IMO.

YANBU, but I hate Clarkes and always bought Start-Rite. Feet don't stop growing until a child is about 20, and ill fitting shoes will damage their feet.

Wornout - what is wrong with Timberlands? I managed to get some for ds for £60 for this winter which is a bargain compared with the 130 euros they are over here. They are wide fitting and hard wearing, and can cope with all the wet/damp/snow/ice that we have had in Brussels for the last couple of winters. I live and die in mine as well when it gets bad.

Oh god I can still remember the teasing I got at secondary when I arrived with my startrite burgundy patent leather buckle up shoes....I had the same pair in black. I remember weeping buckets in the shop when I realised that these shoes were the only pair that would fit my ridiculously narrow feet and that not only would I have to suffer the indignity of having one pair but 2!!!!!

I only ever wore properly measured clarks or startrite when my friends all got to go to the cheap shops where you could only buy shoes you 'could spit peas through'. and tbh as I got older and bought my own shoes I still stuck to sensible shoes as I realised they wear far comfier than anything else

Now aged 38 I take great delight in taking the rise out of my mum for all the years of suffering she put me through wearing god-awful shoes and it made no difference....I've had major surgery on one foot and am currently trying to see how long I'll be able to wait until I need the other foot done!!

I can sympathise completely with you both ....shoe shopping is a nightmare