... or are there a lot of unpleasant threads about SEN in this section recently?

[sc13]

The one about ADHD not existing; the one about people with Asperger's getting lighter prison sentences; and more!
As the mother of a DS with autism, I am used to the hostility and the 'surely he's just being naughty' stuff, but this IS getting tedious.
Can we have more stuff about the elections, immigration, people on welfare, mothers not breastfeeding, mothers going to work, mothers NOT going to work - some different incendiary stuff please?
Or was there a massive anti-SEN backlash in the 'normal' world of parenting while I wasn't looking?

Troublewithtalk, DS1's next soiled nappy is winging its way to that woman, fist post tomorrow. Spiteful cow.

We're lucky that we rarely get the catbumface, but recent threads here illustrate just how unenlightened and ignorant (and even hateful) so many people still are. My mum had someone suggest to her that if we didn't give DS2 what he needs, he'd soon start talking. It really is unbelievable how convinced some people are that they have all the answers.

Now, wouldn't it be lovely if it really was all that simple?

I do agree with the fact that mn seems to be far too tolerant of inaccurate hate speech regarding disabled people. Posters who said anything that can even be remotely perceived as hateful about someone's race or religion would be out on their bigoted arses (at least until they make a new ID - MNHQ don't appear to have embraced IP banning, it seems) yet insisting that a disability is fictitious, despite in depth scientific research on the subject and, in the same breath, directly insulting parents of children with that disability by calling them all fuckwits and casting aspersions on their parenting skills seems to be AOK.

The way I see it some of us have to be our kids' voices as they are unable to have a voice of their own.

Homophobia wasn't tackled by silence. Racism wasn't tackled by silence. Yes both still have some way to go but they are not silently condoned on these boards in the way disablism is.

This is NOT an issue to be debated. It should be made clear that disablism is disgusting and uncalled for and it shouldn't be tolerated, but it is.

I have seen people really upset on MNs lately. To the point of wanting to leave.

Most parents of kids with SN have to deal with continious levels of stress. It is kept just under melt down limit. It doesnt take much to push someone over the edge. Someone proclaiming that a hard fought for (not wanted) dx is a load of bollocks can just about do it after a day of spitting, staring, judging, screaming and dealing with ss/leas and the nhs.

Yes I have got a child with SN. He needs are not as severe or complex as many of the children of the parents on the boards.

Everyone knows what its like to have a 'bad' day with a child. Terrible twos, tantrums, srops, phases of lying, biting etc etc. They drive you to the point of despair. But most kids grow out of all that. Lots of kids with SN dont.

I dont know why I bothered with all that. Its not like you need that much imagination to work it out really.

Like Riven says, you cant ignore it all without codoning it, but it gets bloody wearing having to explain/defend/educate all the time.

"but poeple rarent allowed to make racist comments, whatever their opinion. Why should disablist be any different?"

I'm not sure it is. There's a difference between being disablist and people expressing an opinion about disabilities.

And no one's suggesting silence, are they? The OP asks for fewer threads on certain subjects, I was simply pointing out that there is only one way to even possibly achieve such a thing. Personally I don't believe there are too many threads on any particuar subject: all is up for discussion in my world.

Heracles Mon 23-Aug-10 19:09:42
2shoes: because people are entitled to their opinion. The rush to delete/ban is a dangerous path.

so would you say the same about racist posts?
so shall we allow them as well??
(obviously I thick racism is wrong and as sick as disablism)

Personally? Yeah, I'm a believer in non-censorship. The site seems to be able to take care of itself; silencing opinion doesn't make an opinion go away.

Why do I think racist coments are deleted? I'd imagine the wooliness of teh law around the subject causes a number of sites to jump to the safest option. And, as I've already stated, I think there's a line between prejudice and iconoclasm. It behoves no one to holler "XXX-ism!" at any dissenting voice they hear.

But telling the eejits that they are braindead halfwits, does make me feel a bit better

And i see it partly as bullying, and that is not on either

Then fight, that's great. I can only repeat that I haven't advocated ignoring the threads per se so many times!

If you feel there are too many of these "kinds" of threads then ignore them; they won't make you feel any better and can linger with you and ruin your whole day. If you want to stand your ground, pull up idiots for their idiocy, get it out, whip out the stats then that's fabulous, you're on the right site.

"And i see it partly as bullying, and that is not on either"

Hmm, see I almost see it the other way.

Take that ADD thread for instance. The OP was clearly rather deluded (I'm not going to ascribe motive, it's a nil sum game, that) and her/his arguments were fairly tenuous, but if anyone was subject to bullying, it was teh OP and that other poster who seemed to agree with her/him.

You certainly don't defeat ignorance through shrieking, name-calling, ganging up and threats to have them removed from the board; that kind of behaviour only increases their sense of kicking against the pricks, of being the only one with right on their side. I found it rather distasteful, t be honest and it got in the way of the rather more rational and engaging posters who took the time to engage, allowing them to dismantle the fallacious arguments in a readable and persuasive manner.

The thing is practically everything I know about sen is from mumsnet, even the offensive threads.

So just by these threads existing and hearing everyones opinions and experiences people (me) are being educated.

Physically disabled children are more visible and it's far easier to make "allowances" for a child in a wheelchair than it is to watch the behaviour of a child with sen without raising your eyebrows because you can't "see" their disability.

Well said Riven (as seem to be finding myself saying an awful lot- hope you don't mind Riven) and TheFirstMrsDeVere.

Disablism completely unacceptable.

I find the educate versus ignore discussion interesting. On here I tend to get stuck in (stress relief?) in real life I now very much ignore. I used to feel it was my role to educate and make people understand.

I now see it as pointless. Ds1 is 11 now, severely disabled and if people are too ignorant to work it out, well so be it. Not my problem. Makes it easier to ignore the gawpers if you feel no need to engage them.

well imo mn hq need to take disablism more seriously.
one thing to discuss, debate, but some of these threads are just started to cause maximum hurt.
we have already lost good people from the sn topic because of this, I would be saddened if we lost more.
fine to say ignore if it doesn't affect you,
I can ignore countless threads as they don't affect me, but I would never tell someone hurt by them to ignore, why should they. mumsnet is for every one not just the bigots and trolls

"but I would never tell someone hurt by them to ignore, why should they"

Because, as you say, it's hurting them. And if having it out doesn't make you feel better (or at least not worse) then what other sensible, adult option is there?

Brilliant post Heracles

I have to say that getting to a stage where you can say 'gah can't be arsed to argue with the ignorant twunt' is good for the blood pressure.

Although obviously if you want to try and educate the ignorant you should.

Yeah - that was a discussion I thought worth having.