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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To Expect Teenager To Go To Bed at Reasonable Hour?

27 replies

miniadventure · 23/08/2010 08:15

We have a teenage son ( just had his 17th birthday ) and during the summer he has been going to bed later and later.It's around 3.30am lately...The problem is he wakes us up even though he tries to creep about then we have trouble getting back to sleep. Also, he looks like a zombie in the morning and can't wake up!
Do you think it would be unreasonable to expect him to go to bed around midnight? Even if he reads in his room at least he'll be resting and he won't wake us up

OP posts:

southeastastra · 23/08/2010 08:17

mine is the same, i'm letting him get on with it as it's back to school soon and it's the only time in your life you can sort of do the laying in this long isn't it?

belgo · 23/08/2010 08:17

I don't understand how he wakes you up? He clearly isn't creeping around if he wakes you up.

YANBU to expect not to be woken up, but YABU to expect him to go to bed any earlier.

Original poster

miniadventure · 23/08/2010 08:22

Roll on start of the new college term hey southeastastra?! I think he'll still want to go to bed late then though as this started just before the end of last term

Belgo-I know what you mean about YABU re what time he goes to bed but we live in an old house and how ever much you try and creep about every single floor board creaks and groans!

OP posts:

SkiHorseWonAWean · 23/08/2010 08:23

YABU unless he has school in the morning.

ButterpieBride · 23/08/2010 08:26

I'm afraid, if he is 17, YABU. He is pretty much an adult and so if he is tired the next day, that is his lookout. You can tell him not to disturb you, but that is it I think.

senua · 23/08/2010 08:26

"Also, he looks like a zombie in the morning and can't wake up!"

Eh? My teenage DS doesn't know what the morning looks like!
He is last to bed in this house. It's what teenagers do, innit. It's a phase, this too shall pass, etc. Let him enjoy his holidays, he will be back to the grindstone soon enough.

Original poster

miniadventure · 23/08/2010 08:37

DH has invested in some ear plugs-maybe I'll try that! Thanks for your replies anyway

OP posts:

sanielle · 23/08/2010 08:46

Its your house, if he were a lodger (and i assume he isnt paying rent) you could expect him to not wake you at night. tell him he doesnt have to go to sleep but to stay in his room, not to creep about waking everyone else up.

DandyDan · 23/08/2010 09:24

He's a teenager and it's the holidays: he can stay up as long as he wishes. It's the only time in his life he'll be able to do this. If he's being quiet, that's all you can reasonably ask.

MrsTittleMouse · 23/08/2010 09:29

You probably don't want to hear this, but there has been scientific research done on this topic, and teenagers genuinely do have a different body clock to children and adults. He's not just doing it to annoy you (although maybe that's an added bonus for him ).

thelunar66 · 23/08/2010 09:33

I think they all do this.. but especially boys. DS has been known to start making himself omelette and stir fry at 3am, complete with loud microwave pinging etc.

RealEyesRealiseRealLies · 23/08/2010 09:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Goblinchild · 23/08/2010 09:40

Another one with a nocturnal but quiet teenager who also cooks at 3am. It's how she seems to be wired given the choice, sleeps from 4ish til around noon.
It doesn't bother anyone else, my DS is a teen but sleeps from 12, and I've obviously identified the small noises that DD makes an eliminated them as a threat, so I can sleep through without a problem.
Little wakes OH, that's why he needs 3 alarm clocks.
I can't say YABU, because it does depend on how lightly you sleep and how irritated you are getting. But the boy can't help it.

Goblinchild · 23/08/2010 09:41

Oh, no microwave, so no electronic pings.

usualsuspect · 23/08/2010 09:45

YABU ..my 17 year old is also nocturnal ..but he never really disturbs me ..leave him too it

spanieleyes · 23/08/2010 09:46

I have two teenagers. The first seems to be nocturnal. He stays up all night, makes bacon sandwiches at 3 in the morning, sleeps all day and even when officially awake, doesn't look it! The second is asleep by 10 at the latest but up and wandering around the house early in the morning, his favourite snack is breakfast popcorn at 5a.m. I very rarely see both awake at the same time

Jazmyn · 23/08/2010 09:51

My mum used to sing very loudly at 8am outside my bedroom door while she collected the washing and also did the vaccuming straight after that......... I'm sure it was her warped sense of humour!

Sadly the humour wasnt so funny when she continued to do it when I was working night shifts in the police and was back for a weekend to visit!

Anyway, maybe you could try that if you feel like a bit of revenge! ;-)

ratspeaker · 23/08/2010 09:59

There's something I never thought I'd see!
The words teenager and reasonable in one sentence.

Itoo have one of those nocturnal zombie creatures. Give him his due though he did come help me do my in laws shopping

Goblinchild · 23/08/2010 10:01

My two are very reasonable teenagers.

ButterpieBride · 23/08/2010 12:21

Oh, the nights are the main thing I miss about being a teenager! I would sit in my room and devour books, get through endless cups of tea and glasses of cheap wine, make myself weird snacks at all hours, write crap poetry and send emails to my friends about how nobody understood us :)

My bedroom wall was covered in incredibly profound quotes from books, poems and songs and I would eat bread and marge and pretend I was in a book by George Orwell. Sigh.

Now it's all healthy food and one glass of white before bed, and getting up early to feed the baby and do the laundry. I've not read a non-practical book for months.

lazarusb · 23/08/2010 12:26

My ds used to get up and cook in the early hours- or should I say, put something in a pan, turn up the heat, return to his bedroom so we were all awoken by the smoke alarm . Then he started playing music at 3.30am. I missed him when he moved out though (aged 20)...but I'd never have him back home again!!

Original poster

miniadventure · 23/08/2010 16:13

thanks for all your replies-seems this is normal behaviour then and at least my DS doesn't cook at 3am!I expect he'll get back to his routine once college starts again next week

OP posts:

Morloth · 23/08/2010 16:27

At 17 he can sleep when he likes I think. However, he shouldn't be waking you up. Tell him off for that!

Oh for the days of going to bed at 3 and then not surfacing until well into the afternoon!

ActuallyMyNamesMarina · 23/08/2010 18:32

Let him enjoy it while he can. Mine was the same, it would be early hours and then he'd not surface til the afternoon. School days were fine, he was always up and ready for school. Now he's at Uni, I have to trust he's atlectures and work on time - but as he has kept his job since he was 16 and not been thrown off his course......late nights and later mornimngs won't hurt, it's all part of growing up.

Would talk to him about waking you - mine knew the rules, if he woke his little sister (she is 12 years younger than him and likes her sleep) he had to get her back to sleep - worked a treat he was always very quiet

ChippingIn · 23/08/2010 21:59

So that's my problem....

I'm a teenager

No other reason for being fucking nocternal.....

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