to be so excited that x factor is back on!

[4plus1]

Sooo excited! As are the 4 dc's we have the doritos, salsa, etc all stocked ready! Am i sad?

you can have Louis or Cheryl then Crackfox. Choose wisely now

Simon is gay, gayer than a big, big gay.

Dermie I would though. I still miss him on BBLB.
George Lamb is no replacement.

I'm not gay but if I had to choose between Louis or Cheryl I would choose Cheryl.

I didn't understand why Madonna-girl was told to "sing something different, something that we don't hear all the time", when normally they are quite happy to hear endless renditions of 70s soul classics and big Whitney and Mariah and Elton ballads.

He is not the world's biggest fan of women. Despite the marriage rumours. Tbh, I'd put my money on him being asexual.

Noooo, Simon is straight I think. Though him dating Sinnita (sp? Sinitta maybe? ) was a worry because I always had a drag-suspicion about her, before that gold bikini episode anyway. She couldn't have smuggled much in that so obv I was wrong.

There is only room for one special person in Simon's life......himself.

Sinitta, lest we forget, wants a man who is a hunk of a guy, an experienced man of the world, and who has big blue eyes, which are able to sat-is-fy, and he needs to be big and strong, enough to turn her on. (And on. And on.)

Do you think he has mirror conversations with himself? "You're so ssspeshal Simon"

George Lamb. Don't get me started on that one!

I would choose Cheryl over Louis. But then I'd choose Quasimodo over Louis. There's something about him that makes me get washing machine tummy. He looks like he may have chronic halitosis.

And no-one sang and Paolo Nutini songs tonight. The world is going to implode.

Stop that cupcakes. Louis is Simon's wee gnome bitch and does not have bad breath. He smells of delightful biscuits.

Getting Cheryl in was a stroke of genius, as up until that point with Sharon Osbourne being the only woman and trying to be a "serious" judge, the programme was largely watched by young and middle-aged women, teenage girls and gay men.

Now Chezza's on, they have reeled in the young men, dads and teenage boys too, who previously had no reason to watch this rubbish on a Saturday night. They might sit there moodily texting, but they'll be watching. Very closely at some points. :)

"Do you think he has mirror conversations with himself? "You're so ssspeshal Simon"

YES.

Louis is starting to look like a boiled egg.

Our Si seems to 'appreciate' the kind of women that men are 'supposed to', e.g. belly dancers, strippers etc. To be fair, he never seems to get 'excited' by boys at all. I agree with Crack Fox - he has no room to love or appreciate anyone else but himself.

P.s. I still think he's fab.

Dermot is very cute but he says 'wholly' every week on his show. He plays the 'Wholly Trinity' of songs instead of Holy. And he's a good Catholic boy so he should know how to pronounce Holy. It's a real a stumbling block for me, I'm afraid.

Plus, he makes everyone take their shoes off when they go into his house, which is a deal-breaker for me.

Louis looks like a baby tortoise who's just come out of his shell from winter hibernation.

UQD is right, though. Even I couldn't watch it when Sharon bloody Osbourne was judging. Bloody vile woman. Cheryl is much prettier more suited.

I think Simon's mum should write a parenting book as I would love to know how she made him so confident.

Whereas I think Simon would definitely want you to keep them on, so you could walk on his back in them. Which is much more up my street.

Has anyone seen American Psycho? Where Christian Bale is sexing that lucky poor woman up but he's admiring himself in the mirror the whole time?

That's what Cowell does.

Hmm, agreed about the shoe thing.

Gina McKee. That's her.

Fellatio, how do you know about Dermot's shoe thing? I have a new rug so I am a bit shoe-phobic too at the mo (tis v muddy here y'know), do you think that's a sign that we're meant to be together? Have to confess I do.

Dermot is right about the shoes. Really, they bring in all sorts of bacteria and crap. They ought to be left at the door.

Not that I make anyone take their shoes off in this house. You'd probably get more germs off my floors than off the street, if we're being frank.

Simon has a fleet of housekeepers so he doesn't have to worry about the shoe/germ thing.

Simon gives Louis a job as they are both gay.

Simon gives Sinitta a job so she won't reveal that she was a cover all those years back.

Louis is so under Simon's control, it's obvious.
Jedward?
Sure, I love them, but they only went through because they are Irish and Simon made Louis do that, and then the whole conflict between them was good for ratings.

Still, I love reality TV. It's entertaining, and I like to be entertained.