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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

MIL knitting tons of clothes for baby in acrylic

168 replies

proseccogirl · 16/08/2010 11:49

I think you are all going to tell me that IABU and I am a snob too, but what the hell....
My MIL hasn't been back to work since she had my DH (33 years ago!), and frankly never seems to me to have enough to do! Since I have been pregnant she has been knitting tons, and tons of clothes for the baby. She is a lovely knitter, and has made things that would be beautiful, but they are all made of really nasty shiny acrylic and other man made fibres. I have asked DH to ask her very politely if she could possibly knit in cotton/wool, and I have done the same, and have even bought large amounts of cotton/bamboo and wool in suitable colours for her to knit with, as I don't want her to be out of pocket. They have far less money than we do and I know that cotton and bamboo and wool are more expensive to buy.
Despite all of this she pitches up with a new acrylic item every time we see them so has obviously decided to ignore our polite requests, and I know she will take the hump massively if I don't dress the baby in one of the every day when once the baby arrives, but I really, really don't want the baby to wear top to toe acrylic all day! All my baby books say that you should dress the baby in natural fibres so that they can keep cool and evaporate sweat effectively etc.
The background to this is that my DH's parents are very working class and I am very upper middle class so I am worried they think I am a snob as it is, and this will make that worse, but equally, I don't want my baby flickering with static electricity the whole time! Or overheating in a nylon baby grow.......!Am I just being a cow?

OP posts:

violethill · 16/08/2010 11:51

And you think she has too much time on her hands.....

Adair · 16/08/2010 11:52

they are much, much easier to wash
keep them for dolly clothes
agree with violethill...

usualsuspect · 16/08/2010 11:53

AmazingBouncingFerret · 16/08/2010 11:53

Sorry no help here but I can help giggling at this "I dont want my baby flickering with static electricity the whole time"

You've bought her wool that you prefer she hasnt used it, I say just stick the baby in one of the acylic cardigans when you go visit the MIL and all will be well. Maybe the maternity unit would appreciate a donation of the extra stuff?

MamaLazarou · 16/08/2010 11:53

I'm sure the baby will be fine wearing the odd acrylic cardigan, especially in the winter. Just dress the baby in acrylic monstrosities when your in-laws plan to visit, and stick to natural fibres the rest of the time.

You are being a tad unreasonable, yes.

CerealOffender · 16/08/2010 11:54

yes you are being a cow.

acrylic will wash well and you are lucky she is taking such an interest

CerealOffender · 16/08/2010 11:55

how does your dh put up with you and your horrific class consciousness?

Morloth · 16/08/2010 11:55

LOL, you take the clothes. You put baby in them, you take some photos, you shove clothes down the back of the drawer, you show the photos to MIL and gush about how lovely they are. Baby grows out of clothes whilst they are down the back of the drawer, you take them to charity shop as soon as they are too small.

Everyone is happy. If you want extra points you take along one of the jackets or whatever to family gatherings and put it on baby and gush happily over how lovely it is there.

Other than that chill. Babies are quite soggy and not prone to combusting if they come into contact with man made fibres.

FranSanDisco · 16/08/2010 11:56

Well you seem to have tried to get your point across and your mil has continued her knitting escapade. If you really don't want to dress your baby in these items then you shouldn't feel forced. As for the class divide you report it is probably generational as well. My dh's family are working class as is my family but dh's mum seems generations apart from my mum. Lots of stuff mil bought for my dcs got one reluctant wear and was binned as it didn't wash well/retained stains due to cheap quality. That sounds snobby but it's true .

Penthesileia · 16/08/2010 11:57

That's a bit harsh, violet!

I don't like dressing in non-natural fibres, so I don't dress my DD in them, either.

OP YANBU to prefer cotton, etc., for your baby.

You have to bite the bullet and spell it out to her as clearly, but as kindly, as possible.

Praise her beautiful hand-knitted clothes to HIGH HEAVEN. Tell her as much as you can how lovely they are. After that, the fabric used should be less important to her. Ask her directly: "Dear MIL. Your knitting is so gorgeous. Please would you knit baby a jumper/playsuit/cardigan, etc., in THIS wool/cotton, etc." And hand it to her. Perhaps take her shopping for wool, etc., so that she can pick out colours she likes, but you can also steer her towards the wool, etc.

So long as you make it completely clear that her knitting is lovely, I'm sure you could persuade her to change fabrics. Just ask directly for what you would like.

I'm v. , btw. I'd love a MIL who made knitted jumpers for my DD.

In wool, of course.

wannabesybil · 16/08/2010 11:58

Acrylic is fine - it isn't like the stuff in the seventies. And your little one will have grown out of them before you can blink and you will be passing them on.

Also, I wear hand knitted acrylic stuff, and it doesn't get full of static, washes, dries and keeps going. You will no doubt have cotton vests on, cotton socks...

Also, you only need to put one thing on when MIL is visiting.

She is probably working through the vast sacks of yarn she got initially - she will get to your yarn, in time, I am sure.

And finally, as an obsessive knitter, I didn't knit anything for my little one. The modern fibres such as fleece are much more efficient, even if they are not natural.

Congratulations on your good news.

Original poster

proseccogirl · 16/08/2010 11:58

Good grief! Since you took the time to read it and respond to it I don't think its necessary for you to make bitchy comments about me having too much time on my hands. I can assure you that I don't.

I would feel really bad about donating stuff she has knitted to charity or the maternity unit (at least until the baby has outgrown them!)

What I really wanted to know is whether I am being paranoid about thinking that there is an overheating risk associated with wearing synthetic fibres? My books say you should avoid them but maybe they are just being OTT?

OP posts:

BornToFolk · 16/08/2010 11:59

proseccogirl, do you knit? Just asking as you say you've bought yarn for your MIL to use but if you are not a knitter, you may have not bought the right thing.

A bit of acrylic won't hurt your baby, really. I prefer natural fibres on babies too, but my mum, MIL and even I knit things in acrylic for DS because it's easy to wash and dry. He survived! Just don't overdress the baby.

Can you try asking your MIL to knit toys instead?

Or buy her a pattern book which supports natural yarn? She may have lots of patterns written for acrylic yarn and have difficultly substituting.

Or you could just smile and thank her for the gift, dress the baby in it when you see her and then take it off when she leaves...

ShirleyKnot · 16/08/2010 11:59

hahahahahaha

My cousin married a woman who told our whole family that she wouldn't accept any knitted clothes (I come from a traditional family where all the nana's and aunties knit little bonnets and shawls and cardigans) and the only shop bought stuff she wanted was from Baby Gap.

She was priceless.

YABU, you know that don't you? I presume you don't live with this stinkingly poor family and could therefore just pop a little cardigan onto your precious half working class, half upper middle class baby's little body just for a visit from the MIL?

proudnsad · 16/08/2010 11:59

Haven't you posted this exact same AIBU before?

You were being unreasonable then and you still are now. And if it wasn't you then YABU for the first time!

What Morloth said: say 'ta, lovely lovely', shove 'em in back of drawers.

Actually your 'I'm very upper middle class' smacks of troll to me...????!

CerealOffender · 16/08/2010 11:59

wool is bloody expensive though, and will shrink or felt. she is just knitting stuff as a pass time. why take all the fun out of it by demanding she knit in wool

mousymouse · 16/08/2010 12:00

if she wants to knit, can you buy her propper cotton?

my sister uses wool silk which is really lovely and soft (expensive though).

ShadeofViolet · 16/08/2010 12:00

YABAS (you are being a snob)

HTH

Morloth · 16/08/2010 12:00

Yes you are being paranoid. I have a mad aunt who knits some vile monstrosities but she does it because she loves the DSs.

Main thing with baby clothes is to make sure it can go into the wash and then the dryer about a gazillion times because they are going to leak all over it many times a day.

BeatrixRotter · 16/08/2010 12:01

If she wasn't doing this she'd be buying hideous clothes with giant applique patchwork horses heads on with a genuine acrylic mane in a plait. Or someone else will.

Do as we all do and make sure she sees the baby in them, thank her and forget about them.

YAB a little U.

Original poster

proseccogirl · 16/08/2010 12:02

Sorry - I cross posted with lots of helpful comments - thanks for those.
Fransandisco - I know exactly where you are coming from.

OP posts:

Penthesileia · 16/08/2010 12:02

I don't think there is a genuine risk, prosecco, so long as you dress your baby appropriately. Your baby will be fine in those which she has already knitted. Just don't rub her up and down the sofa and build up charge, y'know! On the plus side, she'll easily be able to keep hold of balloons, which should stick to her like a treat!

But - as I said - I personally don't like the feel of non-natural fibres, and I do feel hotter in acrylics, etc., so I don't wear them. That being so, I don't dress DD in them either, assuming that she might feel the same as me.

There's nothing snobby about it. It's just personal taste. I don't know why people are flaming you, really, though I can see why biscuits are forthcoming... It is a bit of a non-issue!

violethill · 16/08/2010 12:03

Apply a bit of common sense rather than expecting to find the answers in a book.

No, babies don't spontaneously combust if dressed in anything other than pure wool or cotton.

usualsuspect · 16/08/2010 12:04

could she knit this ,so no one thinks your baby is working class

KathyImLost · 16/08/2010 12:04

If you buy a yarn that isn't standard weight, and the pattern for that specific yarn, she won't be able to easily substitute crappy yarns.

Try buying a Debbie Bliss book & some Debbie Bliss Cashmerino. Expensive, but really nice stuff to knit with. It might do the trick.

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