MIL knitting tons of clothes for baby in acrylic

[proseccogirl]

I think you are all going to tell me that IABU and I am a snob too, but what the hell....
My MIL hasn't been back to work since she had my DH (33 years ago!), and frankly never seems to me to have enough to do! Since I have been pregnant she has been knitting tons, and tons of clothes for the baby. She is a lovely knitter, and has made things that would be beautiful, but they are all made of really nasty shiny acrylic and other man made fibres. I have asked DH to ask her very politely if she could possibly knit in cotton/wool, and I have done the same, and have even bought large amounts of cotton/bamboo and wool in suitable colours for her to knit with, as I don't want her to be out of pocket. They have far less money than we do and I know that cotton and bamboo and wool are more expensive to buy.
Despite all of this she pitches up with a new acrylic item every time we see them so has obviously decided to ignore our polite requests, and I know she will take the hump massively if I don't dress the baby in one of the every day when once the baby arrives, but I really, really don't want the baby to wear top to toe acrylic all day! All my baby books say that you should dress the baby in natural fibres so that they can keep cool and evaporate sweat effectively etc.
The background to this is that my DH's parents are very working class and I am very upper middle class so I am worried they think I am a snob as it is, and this will make that worse, but equally, I don't want my baby flickering with static electricity the whole time! Or overheating in a nylon baby grow.......!Am I just being a cow?

Oh, heavens NO, the thought of having another baby fills me with dread. We are still waiting for DH's all-clear letter, so still using condoms, but I'm thinking of using a NuvaRing as well, just in case.

The girls got tons of hand-knitted stuff. I used it and kept it.

Recently, at a fair, a pal who had a bunch of knitted boys stuff that didn't sell just gave it to me.

Perfect for DS this winter!

Free clothes are free clothes. As long as they're in good condition, I'm game.

Were you in Stratford aswell GetOrf? Wasnt by any chance my baby you were admiring was it?

yabvu

mil and auntie-in-law knit ds jumpers in acrylic wool.
they have lasted ages and his beautiful angel curls are static free.

i don't really like acrylic so i knit ds jumpers in wool and in colours i like. they are much more hassle to clean, ds was car sick on his wool jumper the other day and it is still on the washing pile waiting to be hand washed and dried flat.

if you want hand knits in fancy wool then learn to knit and make them yourself, it's not hard.

What Morloth said right at the start. and what iloveteacakes said too about flammability.

And for what it's worth, I read your "he's w/class, I'm v/u/m/class" comment as merely trying to explain the context and that you felt that given the context, they're going to see your lack of enthusiasm about putting the baby in the knitted things as snobbery, when you don't mean it that way, you just don't like acrylic (which, frankly, is fair enough).

But I'd put bub in them when she's around (but not near a fire ) and make a big fuss because she's being lovely...which you clearly appreciate and are trying to be sensitive about, otherwise you wouldn't have given her the wool or even be worrying about the whole thing, you'd be saying "oh god, silly old bag has made horrid things, how common, I shall have to burn them!" Which you're not saying, no matter how people choose to read your post.

As I understand it, you just wanted to know how to handle the situation without being hurtful - seems decent to me.

Though I would take the flaming you've received as a MNing lesson - if you find yourself typing anything to do with class into an AIBU post, delete it and step away from the computer! But don't take it to heart.

Agree they are great to wash and dry. Can MIL do really complex knitting? Could you distract her by wanting a lovely white lacy shawl? And later on she will be great for 'heirloom' Arans, Fair Isles, Guernseys to pass around the cousins - very uppermiddle class. Keep in with her!

As a newbie, I don't want to be controversial (on AIBU!) but wrt flammability - cotton is also v flammable, wool is flame retardant. So a cotton vest is more likely to go up than a wool cardi, the acrylic I think will depend on the manufacturer, certainly faster than pure wool.

I was given a fleece for my lo to sleep on, and it would have protected him in a fire a lot longer than the brushed cotton sheets.

Many British fleeces are being destroyed as it is more economical to destroy them than spin them. I believe much of the rest is being used in things like the building trade, for reasons including fire resistance.

I think the 'wear for MIL and photos and then dispose' as the best way for your feelings and preferences, but many would appreciate the things, so please donate or sell rather than bin.

Also there is not just cotton/wool/silk natural fibres out there. For those allergic to lanolin etc there are yarns like one, Milky Whey, composed of a mix of milk and soy proteins... I don't know how flammable that would be.

I hate acrylic handknits too, my MIL does them but luckily she lives in another country and so doesn't see their seamless passage to the local charity shop...

Perhaps there are some nice synthetic wools, but the ones she uses are nasty, in horrible interwoven colours (dayglo pink, multicoloured ones). I didn't even have to wear them that bad in the 1970's.

It is even more annoying that she continues to knit them and buy 100% acrylic clothing as my eldest has eczema which is made much worse by synthetic fibres. Both her and my husband have skin problems with synthetics, and sweat like pigs in them, making the eczema worse. Despite my husband having had this problem for forty years and only wearing cotton, his mum still sends him nylon socks and shirts. I would still object to them on taste grounds, though.

My granny wanted to knit something special for DD1, asked about colour and type of wool and made the most beautiful pure wool blanket. That was lovely.

I don't feel sorry for my MIL now as I realise she does this knitting for her own purposes (to show other grannies, she enjoys it) and not actually for the purpose of providing wearable clothes. So, she carries on, I smile and say thank you (whilst reiterating how they only wear cotton and wool) and so we go on.

I can't see anything snobby in what you said OP. I too have a DP from a wc family who I am very proud of and to whom I couldn't be less snobby or patronising.

But this is MN, if you admit to being mc you might as well say 'I'm a self absorbed c*nt in top to toe Boden and I'm laughing at you all right now'.

I don't get how the snobbery is allowed to be rampant in one direction but draws gasps of horror when shown the other way round.

I think you should be v diplomatic re your MIL, it's only a wee cardie, but as far as acrylic wearing in general goes I wouldn't choose to wear it either. If this makes me a snob in MN land then I guess them's the breaks.

I volunteer DS2 as MN baby. Who wants him first?

He is fully breastfed so you will need to lactate.

YANBU. I had exactly the same issue, my ex MIL actually sewed cartoon characters onto the front of them as well and used the orginal 70s patterns. My advice is not to put the baby in them at all, regardless of her feelings. Your baby, not hers.

He has a suck like an industrial hoover so it shouldn't be an issue. I don't think you even need to have lactated before.

A pet carrier would work for getting him around the country you think? Could probably put BM into the water thingy and he could just help himself on the way.

ShirleyKnot @ 12.33...Good grief, thats funny! Buggered my mascara though

Only if lined with natural cashmere blankets, Morloth.

Another one here who doesn't think Proseccogirl was being snobbish but rather mentioning a family sensitivity for the sake of context. I think she is trying hard not to upset her family but has been worried by the very prescriptive baby books she has read.
For what it's worth... I think the best option is to wear the cardigans, as outerwear over a nice cotton vest or babygrow. Don't worry about safety, this is really a non-issue. If you like the look of the clothes, put baby in it often. If you hate the look of them, keep them only for when your mil is with you. Your mil will get a big kick out of seeing baby in the clothes. At least you won't have to worry about getting it dirty because it's easily washable.
I really don't think it's a good idea to donate any of the clothes to Pakistan or whatever. If your mil ever found out about it I reckon she would be really upset. If you feel bad about Pakistan I would just give a cash donation or donate some other clothes that weren't hand made as a gift.

it can be handy for layering on cold days.

Also, make sure you express gratitude, and appreciate her kind intention, and just put it on your DC when you visit her.

Easy as peasy, you should not get stressed about it....

I am also sick of MN flaming of MC people by the way!

MN reverse snobbery is the stuff of legend. You're not allowed to mention class unless it's to describe yourself as 'working class and proud of it'.

We've an aunt that always knits lovely stuff for our newborns, in wool! But each baby has started to teeth so early that most of it hasn't been worn, constant chewing cardigan buttons just worries me in case baby swallows it. So we wind up staging a few photos or putting them on just for visits. It's no bother and then I pass them on to friends when they have a baby and hope that their one doesn't teeth early.

Is possible none of these cardigans are ever worn but just doing the rounds.

YANBU

I avoid acrylics as I am a static magnet. As a child if my mum lightly touched me with say the end of a fingernail I would get zapped. I get out of cars and close them with my feet to avoid getting zapped, i won't touch escalator hand rails, I used to have to take my shoes off at work or would get zapped every time I touched a filing cabinet.

When ds was born prem he lived in acrylic cardigans and hats for his first few weeks in hospital. It never occurred to me to insist he was clothed in natural fibres. The clothes were knitted especially for prem babies and were lovely. I think YABVU.

seashore do you avoid all baby clothes with buttons or just handknitted ones?

tyler80: I am the same! I find supermarket trollies terrible too!

Quite apart from the MIL issue, I don't like knitting in acrylic wools. They make my hands itch!