in thinking that some dc are just nasty little shits?

[bitofadrama]

so fed up of both dd's coming home in tears after being told that they are not allowed to play at the local park or "kate" has told every other child in the street that they are not allowed to play with "those freaks" (my dd's)

is it really unreasonable to want to but in or is it best to let them learn how to fight there own battles (6&8)

honestly these holidays have been hell with the feral little brats i have to live near.

Tether i dont know that is my point. there seems no stopping them, even the police cant control the problems.

do you have any ideas???

Some children, like some adults, are just shits.

I agree with you OP and I think the adults should get involved. Mad not to. I never get this §"dc have to fight their own battles" line. What happens is some dc have a miserable time and the bullies get away with it. Why is that ok?

how old is Kate if she's the ringleader. And if one person is fomenting trouble, not every dc in the neighbourhood has to go along with it. Thy all have parents too. Where are they a nd what are they doing about it?

'I just don't think that society should adopt a bullied child's parents' view towards aggressive children, as it prevents any change happening- as Goblin points out, it is counter-productive.'

Absolutely TE

We hear the same argument on these threads all the time, 'what if your child were the victim?'
Clearly if it were my child being bullied I would wish harm on the culprits
However I also recognise that a civilised society cannot have retributive justice decided by the victims
We are not in Iran or Saudi Arabia

So whilst I can recognise that rarely, very rarely, a child from a loving, functional family can become a 'bad' individual, I am sure these cases are heavily outweighed by children who are damaged through their experience and environment.

And whilst I sympathise with the op, hiding behind cars and jumping out at children strikes me as a little odd

Wouldn't you be better having a quiet word with the child?

WhereYouLeftIt

"And for the non-sociopathic children, some parents praise them for shitty behaviour so they think that's the way they're supposed to behave."

soooooooooooooooooooooooo true

Why why why do some parents fail to understand that they are doing themselves & everybody else no favours, let alone their obnoxious kids, by encoraging, condoning & modelling ars*hole behaviour?

Valhalla

As as teacher I'm ashamed to work in a system that too often allows a child to be treated like your DD. I know you will have tried everything, but PLEASE keep shouting about it, don't take no for an answer, don't give up, threaten legal action against the school, insist on the Every Child Matters entitlement via Ofsted etc. (before these policies & agencies are abolished in the interests of saving money). Hope things will get better for your DD.

lol i was not hiding behind the car waiting to pop out.

as i said before sometimes they can play well together and i am hoping to encourage this behavior more by teaching my dc to be more assertive (not run away crying) when she starts.

they have to live beside and go to school with this child so i would much rather they learned how to handle her than running back to me at the slightest thing (unfortunatly while i can step in while they are in the street i have to leave them at school for 6 hours a day)

i walked along the street and hovered behind a car for a min to see what was going on, there was a bit of banter going on between them which i was trying to make out with "kate" stood above my dd1 on a box hands on hips and shouting down at her. dd1 seemed to be holding her own but then spotted me and shouted theres my mum. at this point "kate" burst into tears and ran of shouting for her mum.

i stayed for another min wondering if the mum would actually come out but no-one appeared.

OP totally agree with you. Kids can be little shitsand it hurts when it's your DC they are using as a punchbag emotionally.
What really pisses me off is the parents who complain about your DC 24/7 but refuse to accept that their DC's are anything but little angels.
On local park across road from our house, young kids about 7 or 8 years old singing the word 'fuck you' over and over. No point in complaining to their parents though as they just wouldn't have it. My DD(3) was in garden and heard it all. Would not be suprised if she now copies...which of course will be seen as my fault by neighbours!

YANBU