in thinking that some dc are just nasty little shits?

[bitofadrama]

so fed up of both dd's coming home in tears after being told that they are not allowed to play at the local park or "kate" has told every other child in the street that they are not allowed to play with "those freaks" (my dd's)

is it really unreasonable to want to but in or is it best to let them learn how to fight there own battles (6&8)

honestly these holidays have been hell with the feral little brats i have to live near.

I have seen far worse behaviour from children than dogs too, Valhalla. That's because I work with children who have been treated far worse than dogs by the people who were supposed to care for them. The thing is, they are far more capable of change than a dog is. Calling them 'little shits' tends not to change them.

I think in a book I read a couple of years ago, 'The Sociopath Next Door', the author basically said that sociopaths are born not made. So if that's true then yes, some children are just nasty little sociopaths shits. And for the non-sociopathic children, some parents praise them for shitty behaviour so they think that's the way they're supposed to behave.

Try reading 'For Your Own Good' by Alice Miller for a different point of view, WhereYouLeftIt.

Fgs it has sod all to do with dogs anyway so why bring up the comparison in the first place.

and if you ask a nasty little shite to stop being nasty, do ya think that will work. erm no it makes them worse

YANBU. IME, though, they tend to have vile, disinterested parents.

Tiredmumno1, please enlighten me on the behaviour strategies you use with damaged children who are verbally and physically aggressive to peers and adults.

Because obviously all I do is 'ask them to stop'

Do you not think it at all interesting that we will write off a child as 'bad' before we will write off a dog? That's why I made the comparison

THanks tethersend, sounds interesting, I'll give it a whirl.

Exactly what i meant there is no dealing with them.

and i dont actually like dogs, so i am not gonna compare.

And i would not call all of them damaged, some just have that nasty shit persona.

like the ones round here that like to smack shit out of people or throw stones at cars.

YANBU. Some people are nasty shits, and when they have children those children tend to be the same

Here's a question for those offended by the thread title? At what age is it OK to blame someone for their own behaviour and not tell yourself 'it's just bad parenting'?

"Do you not think it at all interesting that we will write off a child as 'bad' before we will write off a dog? That's why I made the comparison"

I think that's bullshit, Teathersend*. The only person who has admitted to doing that on here so far is me.

"We write off dogs by the hundred, thousand even, every week. That's why they die in pounds. IME most people are far quicker to come to a child's defence or rescue than a dog.

Each to their own and all that.

Still think that the kids who left my DD a sleepless. vomiting, school refusing wreck with their physical attacks and cries of "Ginger cunt" are little shits though.

Valhalla, you have answered my question completely honestly and I appreciate that- the 'we' was referring to 'we' as a society; you are certainly not alone in your patience for dogs over children.

I hope your daughter is ok- is the bullying still happening?

"Exactly what i meant there is no dealing with them."

Tiredmumno1, I don't understand this.

That's awful, Valhalla. I hope your DD is OK now.

The girl who chose to systematically bully me and one of my friends for the whole of first year secondary school, just because she could, was a NASTY LITTLE SHIT. Her parents were lovely; both church-goers, unassuming, polite, respectable, just nice, nice people. Her brother was also lovely. This product of a good home made me shit scared to walk home from school for six months. She'd change her route home just to follow me, intimidating me. Luckily, I am pretty confident and she has left no dent in my esteem. Probably why the cunt little cow moved onto someone else; got bored. Still, I hear she has a pretty shitty life now due to her lack of qualifications/friends. Sometimes karmic retributiin is worth waiting for.

And breeeeeeeathe...

Having to share computer with OH who is working, so I may have to leave any second.
Bullying is vile and intolerable, but assuming that the child doing it is just evil is ineffective in stopping it. So I prefer to look at the root causes if I can identify them, and work on eradicating it. Rather than reacting to individual incidents. Rehabilitation if you like. Better for the victim as well, if the bullying stops permanently.
If not, then the only current solution is to lock up the adult that the bully will become, because usually the nastiness escalates as they get older and see that there is nothing and no one stopping them, and no reason to stop.

none of us can control the actions of these kids but their parents.

so whatever we say or do wont make a blind bit of difference

"there are a lot of nasty little shits about, its not necessarily picked up off the parents they also pick it up from some of there peers, nowadays it looks like they have to be nasty just to fit into these stupid nasty gangs."

"none of us can control the actions of these kids but their parents.

so whatever we say or do wont make a blind bit of difference"

Eh? Make your mind up!

So every scheme working with violent and aggressive children- some of whom are abused- is a waste of time? Child and adolescent psychotherapy is a waste of time?

What on earth should we do with these children then?

Arf.

Bum, I've got to share the PC again.
Bye.

Tethersend, thank you, but sadly she's not ok. The knock on effect was to leave her feeling that she had to verbally defend herself as her school did sweet FA. Hence one DD is about to be excluded from school...

She's under the GP and is still in a state about it all,

Long story, but the effects of bullying are enough to make a parent want to drown the perpetrators, much less just call them little shits.

Vallhala - well said again.

That's a completely normal and understandable reaction, Valhalla. I hope you find another school for her- one that will keep her safe. Best wishes to her- from one ginger to another

I just don't think that society should adopt a bullied child's parents' view towards aggressive children, as it prevents any change happening- as Goblin points out, it is counter-productive.