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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off with DH for spending the day ironing?

29 replies

lechatnoir · 14/08/2010 10:19

I've had the past week off work and DH (SAHD 4 days a week) wanted a day to himself partly as a break from DC but also to get some of the DIY jobs we're doing finished so I agreed to take DC out for the day. We left soon after breakfast & didn't get home until teatime so I was expecting to get home and find the house reasonably tidy and some decent progress on at least one of the jobs...except DH was sat in front of the TV ironing and hadn't anything else - breakfast things still on draining board, clean washing sat wet in the machine despite reminding him to hang it out and no clue about our dinner Angry

I had a bit of a fit at him as IMO ironing in front of the TV can be done anytime (ie in the evening!!) but he thinks I'm being totally unreasonable because the ironing needed doing and he wasn't sat doing nothing but just didn't do what I'd hoped or expected!!

So, AIBU or was he being a lazy arse albeit disguised by a couple hours worth of ironing?
LCN

OP posts:
belgo · 14/08/2010 10:23

YABU. He sounds very sensible, watching telly and ironing - multitasking even - I do that too. Sensible to get the ironing from the previous wash done before starting on the next load of washing.

Why are you worrying about dinner at 10.19am?

belgo · 14/08/2010 10:24

oh sorry realise this was yesterday.

But you are still BU.

TrillianAstra · 14/08/2010 10:24

He's not a lazy arse, he just isn't as good at prioritising housework as you are.

Most sensible people would realise that washing should be taken out of the washing machine first, because it can dry itself while you do other things.

If he said he was going to do DIY (is DIY something he can do but you can not, or something that can only be done when DCs are not there?) then he should have done DIY.

ConnorTraceptive · 14/08/2010 10:27

YABU

Original poster
lechatnoir · 14/08/2010 10:27

ETA The DIY job involved a very noisy & dusty electric sander being used in our bedroom so an obvious daytime without children job IMO and yes, this was yesterday Smile

OP posts:
MrsWeasleyWannaBe · 14/08/2010 10:29

YANBU. I would also be annoyed!

melpomene · 14/08/2010 10:29

YANBU. It sounds like really he just wanted a break from the kids, which is ok but in that case he should have been upfront about it and not said he would do DIY if he wasn't going to do it.

If he's SAHD 4 days a week, isn't he used to doing laundry / washing up / tidying on a daily basis?

SkiHorseWonAWean · 14/08/2010 10:32

What a cunt. I'll PM you my address and you can send him round here.

Mowiol · 14/08/2010 10:36

Can he come round to my house and tackle the pile of ironing that is of Everest proportions? It's sitting there in a menacing way and I can't be a*d doing it 'cos it'll take 2 days (literally). Hate ironing Angry

melpomene · 14/08/2010 10:40

How can people amass that much ironing anyway? Are you all ironing your pants, sheets and tea towels? I only iron the things that really ned it, and get away with 20 minutes or so of ironing once a week.

TrillianAstra · 14/08/2010 10:41

Mowiol - don't do it then. Put it in the drawers and see if anyone notices.

Mowiol · 14/08/2010 10:44

TrillianAstra - I have been known to do that!

TrillianAstra · 14/08/2010 10:49

I love a good ironing thread - we just need someone to come on and tell us that unironed people look scruffy, no matter what they are wearing Grin

Scaredofthedark · 14/08/2010 10:53

my diamond ring is too big and all my bank notes wont fit in my purse!

some people dont know when they're well off....

dh ironing??!!

Bellepink · 14/08/2010 10:57

I can see your point, but I do think YAB a little bit U if it's a one-off.

There are days when everyone needs a bit of a break, he may have had the best of intentions of doing the DIY or whatever but when it came down to it he just wasn't inspired/had no energy/couldn't face it etc.

I also feel the NEED to have a day off here and there, just being me again. Listening to quiet. With the luxury of doing absolutely jack all useful if that's how I feel.

To balance things up, maybe you should both negotiate a Day Off once a month with each other where the kids are taken out and you get the house to yourself, and your OH can't comment on what you did or didn't do with your time.

It's your turn next Smile

Original poster
lechatnoir · 14/08/2010 11:11

Oh I totally bellepink but given that we often have a 3 day weekend we do actually get to have 'me' time on a reasonably regular basis.

OP posts:
melikalikimaka · 14/08/2010 11:47

My DH doesn't know how to drive an iron! YABU.

LittleMissHissyFit · 14/08/2010 12:08

I think if my OH came home and said that me ironing for a day was a waste of my time, and that I could do that in the evening, I'd hurl said iron at him...

But my OH thinks it's a huge imposition to even make the bed, by which I mean flip the Duvet up when he gets up... or to put the towels neatly back on the towel rail.... That's incidentally ALL he has been asked to do, because IMO it is the barest of minimums when it comes to respect for me.

I think your H's wanted a day off from the DC, which is fine, but he's over justified it by coming out with the DIY stuff. You, have had your expectations raised and of course have been disappointed by the fact that stuff he said he would do, he hasn't.

It's OK to have a slacker day, when you don't fancy doing much. He did do the ironing.

I think YABU to be pissed off, if you have a go at him on that front, he'll end up seeing his life, the SAHD thing, as a job, and IME, that's a sure fire way to damage your relationship.

paisleyleaf · 14/08/2010 12:13

There'd have to be a bigger back story than breakfast dishes still being on the draining board, for me to say yanbu to be pissed off with your DH for ironing all day.

Fel1x · 14/08/2010 12:25

I'm a sahm and do dishes etc every day. If I had a day without the dcs I'd do stuff I couldn't easily do with the kids there, like ironing in front of the tv!
If dh complained I'd be very cross!
I'm too knackered to do stuff in the evening

ChippingIn · 14/08/2010 14:01

YABU to complain when your DH has done the ironing Grin

YANBU if you agreed to take the kids out so that he could get the DIY done. If he wanted a day to do the ironing, he should have said so, if he wanted a day to himself - he should have said so and not wasted it ironing!! He shouldn't have said he'd do the DIY then not do it, without at least texting you to let you know he wasn't doing it. Sometimes it's a PITA keeping them out & occupied and then to get home and find you need not have bothered is bloody annoying.

I think the problem isn't what he did, but that he didn't do what he negotiated his day at home alone to do.

and yes, it's pretty shit to have taken the kids out all day, to come home to a house that's a mess and nothing sorted for dinner (if you're that kind of family, we're not, I'm much more stare into the fridge and see what I feel like/feel like cooking).

AuntyJ · 14/08/2010 14:34

your DH does the ironing....Shock. Cant remember the last time mine touched it.

mumeeee · 14/08/2010 22:12

YABU. I hate Ironing and always do it in front of the Tv. My Ironing basket is overflowing at the moment and yes it would take me all day to finish it. But I would have taken the washing out of the machine.

PurpleLostPrincess · 14/08/2010 22:26

I would give anything to have the house to myself - good on him for getting something done that won't be hanging over him all week now!

My DH has been a SAHD, and I remember being just like you a few years ago, but you have to let go and chill I'm afraid! I know you'd agreed on certain things, but it's not as if he's been on the PS3 or on the computer, or even down the pub all day is it!?

YABU

Frizbe · 14/08/2010 22:30

He can come and do our ironing, my dh appears to have completely forgotten how to use the washing machine today (although he managed to use it yesterday) he also forgot how to empty the dryer he filled, or clean any part of the house Angry and indeed how to iron too.....or hoover etc.....