What sort of stuff would you expect a 10yo to do for themselves?

[Pioneer]

I am only asking as when on holiday last week I asked 10yo DSD to strip the sheets off her single bed, as the holiday place (centerparcs) ask you to do it. She looked at me as if I had two heads! I ended up helping her as I thought it might have been a bit difficult to do on her own.
Was I BU to ask?
It just got me thinking that she doesn't really do anything for herself - what sort of stuff should she be doing at that age?

Yanbu. I'd expect a ten yr old to wash up help change bedding Hoover sometimes pack shopping at super Market put their own clothes away etc.

oh, I can't wait to see the responses on this Pioneer...
I have a 10 ds who is academically very able and has absolutely no, and I mean none, common sense...
His life is spent looking askance at ordinary tasks
Am teaching him to cut cucumber with a serrated knife, make toast and strip his bed at the moment.
It is a real struggle.
I struggle to understand how he's going to get through life actually... no that's not true... I'll be encouraging him to get himself a nice wife with loads of common sense

The clothes thing is another issue - I found some inside out trousers and a top in her drawer, she takes her coat off and just dumps it on the bottom step, bed never gets made, curtains drawn all day, light left on til lunchtime. (This was today).

I find it difficult as she is DSD, not DD, so very difficult to discipline as she does not live here all the time.

My 10 yera old dsd would change a bed, she can cook and clean.

My 6 year old ds & 4 year old dd1 can both strip a bed & help to re-make it.

I'd expect a 10 year old to be able to make a few simple meals (beans on toast, scrambled eggs, fish finger sandwich sort of level), wash up, load & set a washing machine, hoover...anything not outright dangerous or requiring adult physical strength, tbh.

I think the thing is that when I was that age, I used to help dust, water the plants, clean the bathroom, hoover, etc. However my DH still thinks of her as a 4 yo I think, as he doesn't think she is old enough to do any of these things. He has only just allowed her to go round the block with a friend.

My 9 year old strips the bed, collects the eggs from chickens, puts kettle on, puts clothes away, tidies shoes/room up, brings shopping in from car

but quite often under protest

My DD does all sorts of things. Stripping beds, putting sheets on, hoovering, polishing, floor cleaning, and washing up (including DS' bottles)

Not always but when asked / necessary and not just for herself but for the household in general. She knows we're a team and since DS (autistic) was born this has become even more important.

I don't allow her to use chemical products at all, cleans lavatories or cook unsupervised.

But she's not a saint, she's a normal distractable child who can't manage to put her dirty washing in the basket or rubbish in the bin with any frequency and has to be nagged to clean her teeth

At 10 I was cooking a meal once a week (my day was monday), making my own lunch (although this normally onvolved nicking bits of quiche from my mums catering kitchen...) cleaning/hooverng my room and washing my sheets/clothes.

Strip bed, put on clean bedding, sort and load washing, make a cuppa, cook/prepare a simple meal, hoover, dust....

My DD does all that.

She'll be 9 later this month.

It's our home, and that means she is responsible for it's upkeep too, and I expect her to do things round the house.

OK, she moans, but tough, I'm her Mother, not her servant.

You can't exactly get 'stripping a bed' wrong, can you? It doesn't require much in the way of jedgement or fine motor skills that a 10 year old would not yet possess.

My 4.5yo already strips her own bed, puts her own laundry in the dirty laundry pile, can load the washing machine, and is not allowed to just dump clothing - shoes/coats/clothes all have places they can be left/hung. As she is sometimes told 'I am her mummy, not her maid'. She will start on making sandwiches next week (just jam on bread DH has already sliced - nothing complex!). Already sweeps up occasionally using a dustpan and brush (sees it as a game) and loves using microfibre cloths to clean/dust with.

When I left home, I had never even been allowed to operate a washing machine - I'm never allowing a child of mine to get to that age and not have the skills to keep their own home/bedroom clean & tidy if they want to.

Theres a huge difference in what they can do and what they want to do!

I would expect a 10 year old to be able to strip and make a single bed.....but not a top bunk. I used to struggle with top bunks as an adult!

I would also expect a DC of that age to cope with loading & unloading a dishwasher. Also basic washing up in the sink.....plates etc. ,but not very dirty cooking pots.

They sould be able to pair their own socks and put clean clothes away. Not iron shirts etc. yet but iron flat stuff like pillow cases under supervision.

Also make a sandwich for themselves unsupervised and do some basic cooking.....peeling veg and simple baking if with an adult close by.

Be trusted to do lots of basic stuff around the house that doesn't involve chemicals or sharpe objects.

I expect my 13 year old to mow the lawn with an adult in attendance, and my 15 year old to do it on his own.

stripping a bed is easy, however I slept with only a duvet cover for ages as I just couldn't get the bugger back on [idiot]

Gosh
A 10 year old should be able to make breakfast -cereal, tea and toast ,microwaved poached eggs
Lunch - sandwiches and drink
Tea - beans on toast , soup from a tin,-in fact anything tinned . With help should be able to cope with a pizza in the oven etc

Be responsible for feeding the dog /other house animals.

Make own bed -stripping and remaking. Loading the washing machine . Help with putting things on the line.

Brushing hard floors ,dusting,mopping. Cleaning sinks and bath.

Go to the shop if its near enough and carry some weighty items (2 litre milk ,2 kilo potatoes)back.

Um slave driver ?

Quite, OhYouBadBadKitten.
DD would prefer to do nothing, as would I, but that's not life is it.
DD has to do things in the house, because she lives here.

I also don't think you are doing your kids any favours by doing it all for them.

I had everything done for me, not because I wouldn't do it, but because my Mother could always do it better.

I don't thank her for it.

Well she does none of that......!

I think I will speak to DH about slowly introducing a few things to her - I know it will not be met with much enthusiasm, but I think it is important for her development.

DH literally does everything, including tidying up her things, putting washing away, making all meals, and making her bed.

I feel the same KarenHL, I didn't know what was involved in keeping a house clean when I left home because I had never had to do it.

My parents weren't comfortable let alone rich, both worked, no help, so I often wonder why they spoiled me so much in this respect.

The one thing I occasionally did was wipe my dressing table surface when it got manky with cosmetics.

And that was only because my Dad cleaned and tidied my room including kindly boxing up every single "essential" skin / hair / face product and neatly placing said box on a high shelf. Typical man logic but it worked.

I think a 10yo should be able to do any routine domestic activity - cooking, cleaning, shopping.

Bloody hell, I think I've been waaaay too soft on my ds1!!!

Think some changes are in order from tomorrow!!

Strangely mine never got the hang of cleaning out rabbits and other pets....they always found some homework that needed doing!
NAGY was always the mug left with that job....the only pets we have now are fish!

Will be getting a dog soon.....they will be taking it for walks!

Almost everything. apart from stuff involving sharp knives and power tools.

so: changing bedding
basic cooking (ie Putting stuff in the oven and rescuing it before it burns)
hoovering, washing and drying up, general cleaning tasks
washing clothes (well, shoving them in the machine with powder, and later hanging them out to dry)
shopping (though with very specific instructions)

we did these things at ten years old. perhaps not very well.