to leave ds1's soaking wet shoes in the hall so they are still wet in the morning?

[CoupleofKooks]

It was pissing it down here today. Ds1 likes to go out and get soaked, deliberately get himself wet and play in the rain. He has wellies etc but chooses to go out in his trainers. This annoys me and when he does it I have told him he must put paper in his shoes and put them in the airing cupboard, otherwise they are still wet in the morning and he can't wear them . He got athlete's foot before from wearing wet shoes the next day

He doesn't have spare shoes and doesn't like wearing his wellies so he won't be happy in the morning when he finds his shoes are still soaking. He's left them in the hall (also his raincoat is there lying on the floor soaking wet, so if it's raining tomorrow that will be uncomfortable to wear also).

He's 7 and he's just gone to bed. Should I pick them up or leave them?

Blimey, some of you are harsh. I have been known to forget about my wet walking boots from time to time (that's why I have 4 pairs!!)

Dry then and have done!

so, those people who think IABU because 7 is too young to not need reminding, was it me saying "you need to remember yourself to do it because they will be wet otherwise", was that the unreasonable bit?
i feel it would be best to follow through on principle but can see if it was unreasonable of me to say that in the first place, then following through is prob unreasonable as well :o

I'd leave them and let help him learn.

Think of it as a service towards his future wife!

would you all dry them even if you had said several times in the past "you must put them to dry, or wear wellies in the morning?"

ifancyashandy i would tend to agree with you!

no, I mean that tomorrow wellies only are available

wellies only are available even though his shoes are dry in the airing cupboard? i don't get it

awww I am a softie

Not being 'big on supervision' means this kind of thing is more likely to happen

So either supervise more closely, or accept that ds will have wet shoes when you haven't noticed he is outside in the rain

Do what you want.

I'm not sure what I think about the unreasonableness of what you are saying.

I do think, rather than posting this on MN when he had just gone to bed, I would have gone and got him up and made him sort it out. Or sorted them it myself.

No, can I clarify - I meant remove the wet shoes, so he can't wear wet shoes, and leave out wellies. If he hunts down the shoes they will be wet, NOT dry in the cupboard. I'm not my mother yer know .

I would leave them. DS1 is 6 and is perfectly capable of sorting this sort of thing out for himself.

morecrack yes it is more likely to happen
i think lack of supervision has a lot of advantages for ds1 though, he likes to be independent and doesn't want me hanging over him saying "put your wellies on, come in out of the rain" etc.

so i expect him to do his bit by being responsible about dealing with the consequences of the extra freedom

am genuinely interested as to whether this is BU

chasingsquirrels i am interested in it though! i don't know which thing i think is right, so i am mulling it over, and asking for opinions
is that not what AIBU is for?

Fran, i see what you mean now
i won't let him wear wet shoes in the morning, don't worry

morloth yes the fact that other people's dc can sort this kind of thing out, inclines me to thinking that ds should be able to also

but it seems he can't (yet)
maybe this will encourage him to remember, or maybe it is unreasonable to expect ALL children of 6 and 7 to remember, when some of them are good at this sort of thing, and some of them aren't?

I meant - I really don't know either, can see both sides of it.

I think at 7 most children are able to comprehend that if you leave a pair of soaking wet shoes without attempting to dry them or ask for help in doing so or even say "My shoes are wet, what shall I do?" then they will remain wet the next day

I'd go and get him out of bed and give him a good old nag about remembering to dry out his shoes, blah-de-blah.

I just don't think wearing wet shoes is that big a deal personally, so if DS had been told to put them in the airing cupboard (I am not entirely sure what an airing cupboard is TBH!) to dry them out and hadn't done it then he can just wear wet shoes. No biggy.

tmmj yes i agree it is a bit petty
this is one of the reasons i asked AIBU
i agree i try to be relaxed about things that don't really matter - i agreed with him that wet shoes didn't matter much, either, until he got athlete's foot from wearing them
now i have banned wet shoes
i don't feel that he has too few boundaries, i think we have a healthy amount of rules about things which are important, and i try to leave a lot of the rest for him to work out himself
obviously this doesn't always work out
still it keeps life interesting :o

pointy thank you but that's the first piece of advice i have thought "well i definitely won't do THAT" :o

morloth it's the cupboard where the boiler is, we put towels and things in it and it's nice and warm in there

i agree re: wet shoes, but he did get athlete's foot from doing this before

I agree that over supervision has it's disadvantages

However if you choose to parent in this way you should accept the likelihood that things like this will happen

It will take you 5 minutes to dry his shoes
And as he is only 7, it really is your responsibility, regardless of the amount of freedom he is allowed