crouch, ronan keating, mark owen etc... is all that keeps "ordinary" men from cheating is lack of opportunity?

[stillbobbysgirl]

Me and DH had a heated debate on this subject last night. If you met Peter Crouch, Mark Owen, Ronan Keating etc, down the pub, would you not think they were totally average looking fellas, and they get women throwing themselves at them coz they are famous/rich?

I think it therefore follows that if ANY bloke (including husband who is as faithful as an old labrador) had women chucking themselves at them, they would be shagging all around them. He disagrees!

to paraphrase southpark
"I just can't figure out why all these incredibly successful famous men keep having sex with all these women"

The real mystery to me is why they have the charade of committed relationships? Multi-millionaire 20 something famous men are most likely going to fuck around and more power to them, just stay single. Don't get why they enter these public relationships as it's going to be a PR disaster when they do play away.

maybe, but humans are capable of all sorts of shockingly bad and shockingly wonderful behavior, much of which could never be predicted until or unless circumstances present themselves.

also, monogamy is mainly a social construct, not biological.

This has reminded me of my college days when I met the most beautiful woman who was changing her career and had enrolled in the college.

We became quite close and she confided in me that she was seeing someone famous and had been for years. She knew he was married but didn't care, she wasn't in it for love IYSWIM

This man was well known, it was the early 70s, and I believe, well respected but, whenever he was playing "up north" they got together.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that celebs playing away isn't a new thing.

god course its not, they have their up north girl, the london one, one in every town!! And those rockers of the 70's well, they were wild and fair play to them. I reckon it was even worse back in the day but, so much easier!! no mobile phones, no digital cameras, no internet. You would think they would be more careful who they shagged these days.

I am surprised though that more people arent exposed its a very small percentage, when you think about it. And its always a certain type as well.

mayorquimby
I ahree entirely

No one these days is obliged to be monogomous. So why do it unless you mean it. That is the bit I don't understand. No one makes them. It is not like years ago when the pressure to be married was immense. Most people accept most lifestyles. So why chose to create an aftificial life that you don't actually want to live? Why not be a playboy footballer with a girl in every city?

If I changed my mind about being with Dh then I would split with him and live a different life. I would expect DH to do the same . It is the lying and pretending that makes no sense to me.

My personal experience is that men are no more or less likely to have affairs than women are.

Some people will cheat no matter what, some will cheat if they think that their main relationship is bad and they won't get found out, and some won't ever cheat. I have enough trouble dealing with one woman at a time - the thought of keeping two on the go brings me out in a cold sweat

I think wealth and celebrity tend to breed a feeling among many of them that normal standards of conduct don't apply to them as they're so special. To judge the average man's likelihood of having an affair by looking at what male celebrities do is as biased as looking at Naomi Campbell and using that as a basis for saying that most normal women are batshit insane.

I think for both men and women there are people who would cheat given a tiny chance, some who would never cheat, and plenty in the middle, who are unlikely to do so but might under the right (wrong) circumstances.

I agree with someone near the beginning who said that your environment normalises your attitudes - if lots of the people you know are havign affairs then it makes you think that it is the usual way to behave, makes you think it's not that bad, etc. Assuming that you thought it was wrong in the first place.

I've always seen myself as marginally more likely to cheat than DH, and for me that would be more no more than a drunken one night stand. I don't believe I ever would, but I wish I could say for certain. I would never have an affair, I absolutely cannot abide them, all the lying, the betrayal.

Sometimes I worry there is something genetic in it. Not for me but DH, both his parents had affairs. I really don't believe he would but I do sometimes wonder about the nature/nuture thing and how it could affect him. I'm sure it is ridiculous. I hope so.

What continually amazes me is that they don't seem to understand that they will be found out.

If I'd cheated, I'd be bricking it that DH would find out and leave me, and it's in nobody's financial interest to sell a stoty on me.

A stoty???

Story.

theres very few of them that would warrant a large amount of money for a kiss and tell. Thats why there's hardly any of them getting exposed.

I think women are just as likely to cheat as men, it is just that women don't get caught. I know many women who have cheated on their dh and their dh has no idea. In fact i question the paternity of some of their dc's.
I truly believe that MOST men would cheat if given the opportunity.
A lot of posters have pointed out that Peter Crouch is a bit of a minger, in my experience many ugly men cheat, because they have got something to prove.
Then again, i couldnt imagine sleeping with PC despite his millions, he just strikes me as a bit thick.

he's too gangly for me, I prefer the short stocky type

Chris Rock said: "A man is only as faithful as his options"

Yeah, but he also said: ?Don't argue! You cannot win, you cannot beat a woman in a arguement. It's impossble you will not win. Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense.?

"crouch, ronan keating, mark owen etc... is all that keeps "ordinary" men from cheating is lack of opportunity?"

Yes - pretty much.

These aren't ordinary men. They're men who've been famous since they were in their teens, had more money than they can spend since then, and both Ronan and Mark were constructed as sexless 'cute' pretty boys in the most successful years of their lives. Mark Owen has the 'I'm really a musician, nobody understands me' complex that so many ex-boy-band members seem to have, and it doesn't seem all that weird that he would get a bit lost when his whole life the entire world has told him he's the sweet, monogamous type. Maybe he never was, or maybe he got confused about who he was aside from all the constructions of him he has to live with in order to be successful. And it seems to me that a lot of footballers are ill-educated, spoilt, stupid twats!

I agree with an early poster who said it's patronising to say that all men would cheat. Chris Rock's 'a man is only as faithful as his options' is a funny and clever line and it might be true for some men, but I know a lot of lovely men who are in love with their wives/girlfriends and just aren't interested in anything else. Plus, basically everybody hhas the opportunity. You only have to go outside your house and you can find someone if you want to.

I include my own DH in the non-cheating camp - we've been together 12 years, since we were 16. Often when we were younger I said to him he might get itchy feet because he'd only slept with one person, but he won't have it - he didn't set out to only sleep with one person, but he's happy as he is. I'm not saying he would never ever cheat, but I'd be bloody surprised if he did. There are other men, like my own dad, who I totally expect to be cheaters. DH's father has been monogamous for thirty-five years and is head over heels in love with his wife. He's just not interested in being with anyone else. He's focused on her and on his family and anything else would come second best. I also know men who have been cheated on and find cheating abhorrent for that reason. I know men who have been heartbroken when their girlfriends have left them because it never occurred to them to be with anybody else but that girl.

The thing with the newspapers is once they've found a successful story they just keep telling it, over and over again. Unfaithful men is a hot topic right now, so they just keep inserting new names and telling the story again. Probably in a couple of years a big story will break about a very famous woman cheating - and then we'll get a flood of stories of the same.

Men cheat, women cheat, everybody is capable of cheating. But there are plenty of people who don't want to cheat, and who don't cheat, and who are capable of not cheating too.

ooh I always fancied tall skinny guys - Peter C is quite cute I think (and I don't usually fancy footballers).

Tiger Woods is a disgrace - the perpetual infidelity the least of his crimes - he rarelsy (if ever?)wore condoms with all the women he slept with & then goes back home to his wife - makes me wanna puke.

yes, thereis a lot of opportuntunity to stray in footie and show biz. A lot of men stray, but only in their minds. Women probablyly stray less frequently I still like Ronans If tomorrow never comes. fab record...meaningful

I never got Ronans appeal, just that he seemed like a nice boy. Footballers would never do it for me. God, it makes you wonder who will be next, Philip Shofield?? then, I would be shocked!!!!