crouch, ronan keating, mark owen etc... is all that keeps "ordinary" men from cheating is lack of opportunity?

[stillbobbysgirl]

Me and DH had a heated debate on this subject last night. If you met Peter Crouch, Mark Owen, Ronan Keating etc, down the pub, would you not think they were totally average looking fellas, and they get women throwing themselves at them coz they are famous/rich?

I think it therefore follows that if ANY bloke (including husband who is as faithful as an old labrador) had women chucking themselves at them, they would be shagging all around them. He disagrees!

Interesting point. People dont always marry for love. Sometimes for status, money, power, security or een just wanting some one as a possession.

Lets face it, going back in history it was pretty much accepted among royalty and arisocracy that marriage was determined by power wealth and politics. They then went on to have affairs with other people for love and companionship and it was pretty much accepted as the way of squaring the circle.

I dont suppose its too different today but if people do marry for love I think it far less likely that they will have an affair. I dont even think its a morality issue because morality is a set of rules that we can either decide to break or not. In that sense morality is a negative 'dont do that' kind of force. Love is a positive thing though that means people gladly forsake all others.

If life was all about looking good, being fit, singing and dancing and sporting, going to top nptch parties, then yes, of course. Most people will get carried away when they are living it up and attractive people flatter them.

they definitely dont need to like the person they are doing it with and I always imagine that alot of these celebs dont have any respect for women whatsoever, especially their wives. the reason why they do it is because they are flattered by the attention, getting their ego stroked and, because they can.

Unfortunately I fall in the camp that I think most men would be unfaithful if they got the opportunity and didn't think they would get caught.

I went out at the weekend with a single friend who has married men cracking onto her all the time. She claims that two married men asked her out in the last two months (through work mostly), and she is currently having a secret and torrid affair with a bloke who is, by his own admission, happily married to a woman he loves and he has two small children. I tried very hard not to judge, but oh, I had to bite my tongue something chronic.

I dont think the money/ fame opportunity thing leading to unfaithfulness is exclusive to men.

load of Mn'ers take cheating husbands back. why the scorn just because they are famous ?

I think you are a mistrustfull bunch.
I wouldnt cheat because my dw is my best friend and I dont cheat on my friends be them male or female
Once the trust has gone then that is the begining of the end
oh
and I am a fat ugly bastard so women dont throw themselves at me

YANBU. Anyone who doesn't think affairs are mainly driven by opportunity, not character, is deluding themselves, IMO. Why else would the vast majority of affairs involve work colleagues or friends, rather than "strangers"? Some people would never cheat, but many that would never cheat just haven't had an undeniable opportunity present itself.

I genuinely believe that Dh would never cheat and he has plenty of oppertunity and plenty of interested women.

I would love to think that it is because I am so lovely
I suspect it is because he is very 'straight' and his moral compass would not permit, married with the fact that he is a terrible liar and I would know, plus he never seems to notice when women are coming on to him.
It is strangely charming. I will be sitting there, some 20 something will be drooling all over him and he has no clue

Faithful by lack of savvy

BeenBeta
"I dont suppose its too different today but if people do marry for love I think it far less likely that they will have an affair. I dont even think its a morality issue because morality is a set of rules that we can either decide to break or not. In that sense morality is a negative 'dont do that' kind of force. Love is a positive thing though that means people gladly forsake all others."

Yes, I like this viewpoint.

Like Pagwatch, I do not think that my DH would cheat on my as he is a very loyal person. He was quite disgusted by a colleague who went to a brothel when they were on a business trip - he kept saying that the man had a wife and children, he was most upset by the fact that he had to face the man's family knowing what he had done.

i am not surprised that people who are on the road 90% of the time, and who work in a completely egotistical profession based on image and outward appearance are unable to found marriages that are stable enough to resist the opportunities for infidelity.

i do not believe that 'famous people' are representative of the rest of humanity in any way at all, including their relationships.

BeenBeta - what a fantasy. Most people have been marrying for love in the last x years, certainly the last 40 years as birth control became freely available yet the divorce rate has gone up. Much has to do with societal codes of behaviour but the biological reality is that love is not an exclusive, lifelong practice for most couples.

Hmmm I'm a bit torn on this one, I've had relationships with men who I know have cheated and those who didn't and definitely wouldn't. Not so much because of me because of the type of person they were, ie a decent man.

The celebrities mentioned are all a bit thick tbh and prob don't really think things through, they also are v childsish and crave fame and attention, and spend a lot of time with other childish, attention seeking idiots, the cascade effect so to speak.

Dh wouldn't cheat, it's not in his nature, he's got almost infuriatingly high morals and sense of right and wrong. When I met him he had women crawling all over him but it didn't bother me, I just felt irritated by them for shoving their boobs in his face when he had a girlfriend, it's disrespectful, and pathetic. I also felt sorry for them, not meaning to sound arrogant but they didn't stand a chance.

That said I used to be team leader for a team of 10 men and work in a male dominated environment which was v intense. The majority of them (most of whom were married) either tried it on, made it clear the opportunity was there if I was interested and openly letched. Over me and most of the other young female staff. Pathetic really.

I dont think all celebrities are thick tbh. I mean some musicians are fantastically talented. I dont think we are just talking footballers here. The circles they move in and the jobs they do surely make them open to alot of temptation. Same with men in highpowered jobs - they wouldnt be there if they were thick. And, not all the women are dolly birds after a piece of them.

Have you ever been in a lapdancing club and seen the amount of travelling business men in them? I have, and it aint pretty.

I have always thought that celebrities/famous people often cheat because:
a) they have opportunity
b) they rarely (or only occasionally) face the consequences that regular people do
c) they live in a world that is often quite fragile and false and that could be taken away at any given moment
d) they need regular reassurance that they are as fantastic as the media portrays them - self confidence boost if you like
e) they think they are invinable/untouchable

so basically because they can and they can get away with it.

I guess this could be applied to any situation to any man or woman but i like to think most normal relationships in the real world have a greater element of respect than those portrayed in the media

invincable even

and Im surprised only afew of them get outed really. If they are all at it. Thats what I mean, only afew of them go with opportunists, alot of them are probably quite ordinary girls.

YANBU

Out of all the men in the original post, I dont think I would shag any of them anyway.

Ordinary men can cheat and have cheated. End of story.

I think any woman who can say "my husband / boyfriend / partner will never cheat" is a very brave woman.

I agree. Ive seen it twice with friends recently. Its horrible though, isnt it?