Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

If you could say I do again would you do it differently?

67 replies

iliketodance · 08/08/2010 20:43

Its the time of year to dust down your glad rags and attend hen do's and weddings,but have you began to think arghhh not another hen do or wedding and thought its all so the same, Weddings just dont seem to be fun anymore.
B&G get carried away with all the minor details that cost thousands,I just wander when its us we will do it so that its about me and dp and dc and the people we are closest to us being a great part of it with not all the cost.
For me its a special day and as long as im with the man I love who cares if its not all colour coordinated,and costing thousands we love each other and thats all that matters.
So if it was you would you change anything about your special day if you could do it all again?.

OP posts:

mintyfresh · 08/08/2010 20:45

No relations allowed whatsover - would just be me and DH

Tinkerisdead · 08/08/2010 20:48

yes, I'd spend less. I'd have a small intimate ceremony and a big party afterwards instead of the great big wedding breakfast etc. Just caused loads of arguments over petty crap that has lingered on. i can honestly say I didnt enjoy my wedding really just moments of it. I should have had a huge party with my close friends and family and not worried about whether auntie whatsit likes beef or not or who can tolerate who on the table plan. argghhhh

TartyMcFarty · 08/08/2010 20:48

No, ours was simple-ish and very special. OTT weddings make me squirm!

moonminmama · 08/08/2010 20:50

It's my 5 year anniversary this week and nope I wouldn't change a thing. Dh and I got married inCyprus. We were engaged for 2 years, told close friends and family where and when we would be tying the knot and Irtysh wanted to book their summer holiday to coinside (sp?) with it they would be more than welcome to attend. We had 30 people there In laws paid for a buffet at our hotel for the guests the new went to a bar at night. I loved every single minute of it! We had a wedding reception when we got home so that we could celebrate with those that couldn't afford to come abroad. Again, we had a ball - plus it was an excuse to wear my dress again!

The only thing I sometimes wonder about is the price I paid for my dress. I paid £1000 for it! I don't regret it as such, but often think... Bloody he'll that was a lot of money to pay for 'a xress'

StuckInTheMiddleWithYou · 08/08/2010 20:52

I'd elope and tell everyone about it afterwards and just have a big, daft party when we got home.

Traditional weddings often turn into circuses, with the bride simply bewildered in the middle of it all.

Or, if I did get married again with family and friends invited, I'd have the ceremony in the late afternoon and straight on to the evening do. Sod the bloody formal meal.

TBH though, I'm now divorced and am happliy living in sin, no interest in getting married - can't see the point personnally.

moonminmama · 08/08/2010 20:52

Sorry for the typos. I'm on my dh iPhone and can't type very well plus bloomin predictive texts kick in every now and again!!

JustKeepSwimming · 08/08/2010 20:55

I wouldn't change much I don't think (6 years ago) but wish we had spent less, even though we didn't have lots of fripperies it still mounted up.

If I was to get married again, I think small, sunny, abroad, only parents & siblings if they wanted to come type thing might suit me better, all that attention on me walking up the 'aisle' (only a small one in a licensed hotel, but still), shudder!

compo · 08/08/2010 20:58

Whilst we did have a lovely day, great time with family and friends and a lovely video and photos to look back on I don't honestly know why I was so convinced I wanted to be married. I think it's because I knew our families preffered it but we would have beenfine just tolive together
I think in your twenties it's easy to watch everyone else get married and think it's the right thing to do
if something happened to dh and I fell in love again I don't think I'd bother with the piece of paper tbh

Fibilou · 08/08/2010 20:59

No, our wedding was perfect and I wouldn't change a thing. Apart from arguing less with my parents before the wedding, I turned into a right little Bridezilla.

And I probably wouldn't stay up until 1am the night before the wedding filling macarons for petits fours and would have started the bride and groom figures for our wedding cake earlier so that I didn't forget to give my DH feet

LoveMyGirls · 08/08/2010 21:02

Our's was perfect but I would make sure DH got some cake and that I'd have put my foot down harder with DH about the amount of food we brought, there was way too much!

Tinkerisdead · 08/08/2010 21:02

Yes I agree with that too compo, I dont think I would do it again actually. Everyone asked how it felt to be married and it felt no different, but actually its made us more complacement than we were whilst just living together.

PinkyMe · 08/08/2010 21:03

No, I had a fantastic wedding. My flowers turned up on the morning and were the wrong colour. I took one look at them, smiled and decided that the day was going to be great and it was.

compo · 08/08/2010 21:05

Lol fibilou

yes I think being married has made us more boring and middle aged as well

I never feel like a smug married a la Bridget jones but I guess that was only a single persons perception of marriage

IsItMeOr · 08/08/2010 21:07

Would change very little, as our wedding was lovely.

But, I would have chocolate wedding cake (both DH and I dislike fruit cake), and no formal photos.

Oh, and since we became atheists, I guess we wouldn't have gone for the church .

pranma · 08/08/2010 21:33

I have been married 3 times and I guess I would do it all again including divorcing dh1-I learned so much from that relationship[he was my childhood sweetheart].Dh2 died after a long illness which caused him to be quite abusive but he is my dc father and in the beginning he was a lovely man.
Dh3 is the third time lucky-happily married now for 22 years.
I had 1]big white wedding
2]registry office with small hotel reception
3] registry office again with big family party at home
4]to dh3 again [after his annulment]in church then a party given by our friends at their home.

2cats2many · 08/08/2010 21:34

No. Ours was lovely- we ran away to Gretna Green.

blueshoes · 08/08/2010 22:35

No, it was perfect, down to the glorious weather. I'd might have lifted the ban on children, but it probably won't have made much difference since most of the guests did not have children.

browneyesblue · 08/08/2010 22:42

It's my 12th anniversary today :)

If I could do it again, I think I'd stress less about the details and just enjoy being with my family and friends.

I can't believe I ever thought colour schemes and flowers were so important

Have just had a lovely day/evening with DH and DS (4 months). Nothing special, but very special, IYKWIM :)

tittybangbang · 08/08/2010 22:43

Wish I'd had a bigger party with a live band, instead of just piling over to the nearest pub after the ceremony with my wedding party, which consisted of about 30 people.

Would have liked some dancing!

AlisonDubois · 08/08/2010 22:45

Yes...would not have said 'I Do'!

SalFresco · 08/08/2010 22:46

I had a fairly traditional wedding - church, sit down meal in village hall, followed by disco & buffet in the evening - it was just like all the weddings I remembered attending as a child, and I loved it.

I wouldn't ever get married again though - I don't mean I wouldn't have married DH, I mean if we ever split up, I would never go through the whole wedding thing again. No wedding could top mine; so we'd better stay married

MrsC2010 · 08/08/2010 22:52

We had a lovely day, traditional but very chilled. More people than I wanted really, we ended up with 60 odd to the day (large families) but hey ho. I also would not have spent real cash on my dress...it was a comparative bargain for a full on dress at £500 but it still seems a waste now that it is just vacuum packed in the loft. £100 odd in Monsoon would have done just as well. We didn't spend a fortune, didn't spend forever planning it and everyone still says what an awesome day it was.

cat64 · 08/08/2010 22:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

lovely74 · 08/08/2010 23:00

My wedding day was one of the best days of my life not because of the little details but because of my DH and my friends.

BUT! If I did it again I'd have a different dress. I was a little be cajoled into getting the one I did by my mum. I was gorgeous, but was a very traditional wedding dress and I don't think it was really me.

And I'd diet before the big day. I'm one of the few people I know who managed to out weight on in the run up to the wedding!

lazydays2 · 08/08/2010 23:22

I wanted to go abroad with just close family, but DH wanted a tradditional do. I gave in and spent months stressing over every detail, but must admit it was the best day of my life. DH was right (and that doesn't happen often!) It was brilliant to be able to celebrate with all our friends, it was a fantastic party. It was unique too, very nearly all our family and friends in one room, hadn't happened before and is unlikely to happen again (unless we renew our vows in 20 years or so!) Whilst on honeymoon we saw lots of wedddings, and whilst the settings were stunning I was glad we'd had our wedding party, and it was a party, back at home.

Flip

1 2 3