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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to apply for a full time job

71 replies

racmac · 06/08/2010 18:13

Im Solicitor but havent worked in 3 years and have seen job advertised.
Pros
Good job, local to me, good money probably,
i have always enjoyed my job

Cons
Its full time, i would have to arrange childcare, the dog would be on its own all day, Id miss the children and it would be more difficult to do things like sports days

I dont NEED to work but i am bored at home but im really not keen on returning to work on a full time basis.

WWYD?

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 06/08/2010 18:15

i wouldn't do it personally.

i couldn't bear to put my children in full time childcare unless i absolutely had to.

plus the dog will be very, very bored.

i would hold out for something part time

tethersend · 06/08/2010 18:16

Apply and make the decision if/when they offer it to you.

You never know, they may agree to pt or jobshare- perhaps someone else in your position is grappling with the same issue about applying for the job

tethersend · 06/08/2010 18:17

Oh, and application process/interview will be good for you if you are planning to go back to work.

Apply.

redhappy · 06/08/2010 18:18

Well, since it's turned out that 'having it all' was really a con, then I think we just need to be clear where we are prepared to make the compromises in our own lives.

So, what are your values? what is it really important you do for your children? Can Grandparents do some of the sports days etc?

What could you do with the money that would add to your lives?

I don't think you're BU. It wouldn't suit me, but sometimes I wish it would fir my life to work fulltime Because I would do some really great stuff with the money!

goldenticket · 06/08/2010 18:20

I have definitely come to the conclusion that to get the part-time job you want (if you are currently not working), you need to apply for a full-time one and then request part-time/job-share after a period of time. I think employers are far more receptive when they actually know you and have seen the quality of your work. Why not apply, start in Sept and then make your request in July and jack it in if they say no?

Original poster

racmac · 06/08/2010 18:34

goldenticket - thats a good idea but im guessing that it will be a busy full on job that they are not going to be able to suddenly cut back to part time.

dh is not keen on me returning to work

Id feel guilty about putting the children into childcare especially in the holidays

The money would be great but it wouldnt make a difference to our lives - just allow me to spend money on whatever i want whenever i want to rather than being careful.

Wary about applying and then turning it down IF i got it as not that many firms where i live and i wouldnt want to burn bridges - i will return to work at some point

no family help at the moment - may be in the next couple of years when dm retires

distinct lack of part time jobs available it appears because the market is so bad.

Longer i dont return to work the more out of date i am and the less employable i become

OP posts:

PlanetEarth · 06/08/2010 18:39

Might be what you need to do to get back in the job market. The kids will survive, and maybe you can go part time later if that's what you want. Very few professional part time jobs get advertised - much easier to negotiate this out when you're already in.

When I had the interview for my current job, I assumed I'd have to be full time. However, in the interview it transpired that I was currently working part time, so they asked if I'd prefer to stay part time, I said yes and they offered me a part time job . So you never know.

Wouldn't be happy about leaving the dog all day, but in some areas you can get doggy-daycare or dog walkers.

justaminutemum · 06/08/2010 18:42

hi - just wanted to add my experience. I applied for a job last year that was advertised as full-time. After detailing my experience in the further information section (including the fact that until the previous year, I had not worked for 9 years as I stayed at home with my 3 children), I stated that I would like to be considered for the position working only 3 days a week. I got the job. The downside is that I do think you pack a lot into the part-time hours. It may be worth a try, you can always say, as I did, that I was willing to increase my hours when the children are older. Good luck.

AnnieLobeseder · 06/08/2010 18:52

Well, I went back to a full-time dream job with the idea of whittling down my hours from the inside once I was in. But now I'm here, I've actually found that full-time is a lot easier than I thought it would be (worked 3 days in previous job). In fact, when I change departments next months, I could have gone part-time but have opted not to. Instead, I'm planning to work 7-2:30 two days a week so I get the benefits of full-time pay and two afternoons with my DDs.

Get another dog to keep first one company!

Or just take the job, see how it goes, and once you're in there it will be easier to identify the hours/days when you could potentially work from home or work part time, and present a sensible business case for more flexible hours.

AnnieLobeseder · 06/08/2010 18:55

"Longer i dont return to work the more out of date i am and the less employable i become" - this is very true!

I don't think you'd be burning bridges if you applied and then negotiated for part-time. At least you're showing your interest, and if you're what they're looking for, even if this job couldn't be part-time, they might well come back to you later if something more suitable came up within their firm.

LadyintheRadiator · 06/08/2010 18:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MumNWLondon · 06/08/2010 19:25

It depend on what sort of childcare you could afford. If you can afford a full time nanny (who could look after dog too) and you can find the right person then yes, go for it. In your field a finding part-time job might be impossible. Maybe after a year you could try and switch to part time.

Haliborange · 06/08/2010 19:35

After 3 years out of work (and with the market the way it is right now) I suspect the best way back into work would be to go for something ft. Knowing what lawyers are like though I don't think I would apply saying I wanted to jobshare or whatever unless you're really in the middle of nowhere with not much competition. You know the drill, we all have to pretend we are longing for partnership, even if really we plan on not flogging ourselves once we're into the job.
I am pt right now but planning on moving ft again and intend to clear my diary an afternoon or two a week so that I can see the kids a bit more. I think it is better to do a bit of homeworking than to hold out for somrthing pt.
As for childcare - not all childcare is equal IMO. If you don't want to do holiday clubs/wraparound at school, as Mum NWLondon says depending on the pay you might be able to find yourself a fabulous nanny, or even better, a nanny-housekeeper. Personally I find that when I can afford to buy in help around the house I get to spend my spare time having fun with the kids instead of hoovering up dead flies etc. It's no bad thing.

MmeRedWhiteandBlueberry · 06/08/2010 19:37

I'm a big believer in working full time so your predicament, racmac, is a no brainer to me.

All working parents have to find childcare and worry about their dogs. We deal with it.

Release from having to attend sports days is a blessing.

Fiddledee · 06/08/2010 19:45

I too am a very bored and very qualified SAHM but I've been off for 5 years. I do think that you have to think a bit about yourself and how fulfilled you are. For me money wouldn't be the issue to its more about self esteem and worth and feeling like I'm doing some things that are not completely undone 10 minutes later. I would apply and go to the interview. Also if its local you don't have the commute so that saves alot of time.

Asking to start early and finish early a couple of days I think is a good bet. Also asking for extra unpaid holiday, so get a longer break during the summer hols when its generally quiet at work is worth a shot. Good luck, I'm envious but I would be returning to work in September if we hadn't decided to move location, I had a good local school hours job lined up in a sector where that is so rare.

Original poster

racmac · 06/08/2010 19:45

Youve given me lots to think about - where would i find a nanny-housekeeper?
Im not sure dh would like that - he is bit funny about people in the house.

MMEredwhiteandblue - i dont have to work and i know i am lucky that i have the option - i dont think working full time is always the right option

OP posts:

unfitmother · 06/08/2010 19:46

Go and see them, it will be worth at least that. You don't want to regret turning it down out of hand.

AliGrylls · 06/08/2010 19:46

Go for the interview and see how you feel after. Until you have the interview you won't know if the job is a good fit for you or not.

IME solicitors aren't particularly flexible. Even if you think it is part time once you there it is hard to not put in the hours because of the numerous deadlines.

Original poster

racmac · 06/08/2010 19:47

fiddledee - i completely understand - i am bored and dh doesnt get it at all Its not fulfilling being a SAHM - its boring but it does have its good bits

OP posts:

MmeRedWhiteandBlueberry · 06/08/2010 19:53

Part-time vs full-time in a professional job is quite an important distinction.

If you are part-time, you can miss out on a lot of important meetings, etc, and it can be hard to feel like an equal member of the team.

A lot of people will say that part-time is the ideal, but in fact, it is nothing more than a compromise.

Fiddledee · 06/08/2010 19:54

My Dh does get it but he is torn between seeing that the children are really benefiting with me being at home but seeing me becoming very depressed because I am so bored.

Haliborange · 06/08/2010 20:02

My take on it is that my career is hard won, I spent years building it up and even being on the mummy track (as I am now) is just immensely disappointing. Of cousre being with the kids is often lovely but there is this whole other part of me that isn't being used. I don't want to be in practice pt for the reasons redwhiteandblueberry outlines: it is just a rotton compromise and I would see all the good work (the bits that make working fun) go to other people.

Re the nanny, my DH can be as funny as he likes about having people in the house, but unless he is going to take responsibility for organising our childcare then he'll have to let me organise it the way I like!

MumNWLondon · 06/08/2010 20:02

Where do you live and how old are the children?

Actually for me a full time nanny is going to be the cheapest option as a full day of nursery for DS2 would cost £65, and after school care for DD and DS1 would cost around £4-5 per hour each. Plus nanny will take DD and DS1 to school, look after DD and DS1 during school holidays or if they are ill. Also the nanny is your employee so you can choose one you really like. She will also cook for the kids, wash their clothes, etc etc. DH hardly ever sees her as I am always home first!

I would say advertise on gumtree for someone appropriate or have a look on gumtree and see what sort of people are advertising their services. Otherwise go to nanny agency but its very expensive.

Original poster

racmac · 06/08/2010 20:07

children are 9 4 and 3. 5 yr old starts full time school september and 3 yr old starts nursery september which is very flexible and can do 9 - 3pm there - although even writing that i feel bad - he has had me at home ft and then to go to nursery ft and a childminder

Im in Shropshire

OP posts:

NoSleepTillWeaning · 06/08/2010 20:09

Do you know anyone already at the firm? And even if not could you give them a call and have a chat about the role ahead of applying? That would allow you to see if they are pro part time in a non bridge burning way. I applied for a full time role some years ago, but saying I wanted part time or job share in my cover letter and got the job despite it being a new field. Turned out the firm was very pro part time but it wasn't obvious from the accessible blurb.

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