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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to apply for a full time job

71 replies

racmac · 06/08/2010 18:13

Im Solicitor but havent worked in 3 years and have seen job advertised.
Pros
Good job, local to me, good money probably,
i have always enjoyed my job

Cons
Its full time, i would have to arrange childcare, the dog would be on its own all day, Id miss the children and it would be more difficult to do things like sports days

I dont NEED to work but i am bored at home but im really not keen on returning to work on a full time basis.

WWYD?

OP posts:

Jasonthunderpants · 06/08/2010 20:13

I would not do it.I hope I never work again
dd starts school full time in Sept and ds will go full time in 2 yrs
The thought of never going back to work and haveing it a bit easier is the only thing that keeps me going
Plus the housework will keep me busy enough

bluejeans · 06/08/2010 20:17

I agree with MmeRedWhiteandBlueberry

I've worked full time and part time and full time is a lot easier. Previously I worked 4 days a week and/or shorter days but was really doing almost full time hours without the salary as I often had to stay late/log in at home

It's just become a way of life for DD being in full time child care - she is not the onlypone of her friends in this position. Luckily I've been able to buy some additional days annual leave this year so am able to take more odd days off during the holidays and we always do fun things as it's a novelty for us to be off together during the week

How old are your DCs? I find it easier now DD is a bit older - a few years ago DD desperately wanted me to pick her up at the school gate, however now she'd would find that deeply embarrassing and is happier playing with her friends at the after school club.

"Release from having to attend sports days is a blessing"

Good luck if you decide to go for it!

sleepingsowell · 06/08/2010 21:13

I think working full time 'just' because you're bored is shirking the responsibilities we chose when we chose to bring kids in to the world. I wouldn't prioritise me not being bored and me being able to buy 'what I want when I want' over my kids being brought up full time by a parent in their pre school years.

Yup, being at home with kids is very hard and boring at times, but in the scheme of your life it's such a short time, and it never comes back.

Fiddledee · 06/08/2010 21:44

sleepingsowell - please let me know the secret of being a happy SAHM. Self-sacrifice (tick), no family help (tick), isolation (tick), drudgery (big tick). Now I have to feel guilty about being bored... I will be advising my DD to not be a SAHM by the way.

Jasonthunderpants · 06/08/2010 21:48

I cannot understand why people would want to go back to work if they didnt need the money

Your all bloody mad. I worked for years in a dead end job and though staying at home can be hard it is better than working

why is it boring?
dont you go to coffee mornings and toddler groups?

Original poster

racmac · 06/08/2010 21:48

when i had children i didnt agree to give up a part of me though - dh certainly didnt have to

OP posts:

Haliborange · 06/08/2010 21:52

Jason - because not every job is a dead end job. some are rather rewarding, especially when you have invested a lot in it.

quaere · 06/08/2010 21:53

Yeah no wonder your DH isn't keen on you going back. He gets everything sorted by someone else on the domestic side and he doesn't have to sit at home being bored. Ignore him - he will just have to get used to it

sleepingsowell · 06/08/2010 21:53

Fiddledee, don't feel guilty about being bored! my point is that we are ALL bored by the drudgery of being with pre schoolers all day! What I'm saying is that for a few short years we swallow that and prioritise their needs first because that's our responsibility, in my very very humble opinion. To decide to work full time JUST because you're bored is not something I would ever do because I have had a strong sense of that responsibility. That's where I am coming from.

AxisofEvil · 06/08/2010 22:00

The only thing I'd say is that from what I've seen the longer you are out the legal Market, the harder it is to get back in. So if you think you would go back at some point anyway and this is important to you, now may be a good time to get back in.

tribpot · 06/08/2010 22:01

I don't know much about the world of the solicitor, except that billable hours are very important, but I manage to combine a F-T job with things like sports day. It involves being a bit mad and doing work at the weekends or on leave, but I'm happy with the compromise. F-T doesn't have to mean Mon-Fri 9-5.

Mostly they arrange meetings around me (apart from one this week which was arranged around me and then no-one let me speak, which was effing annoying). Most men of our age are working dads, worth remembering.

ClareV · 06/08/2010 22:05

I've scanned the other replies, and I'm not sure that anyone has suggested a letter of application but requesting part-time hours from the outset.

I got my current part-time position by applying for a full-time post saying I was only interested if they could offer part-time hours. I was called for interview, and offered the 3 days a week that I wanted.

You could also indicate that in the next couple of years you would like to increase slowly until you are full-time.

If they like you / amount of work availble is appropriate, they may go for it, without you risking messing them around at all.
They would also then have your details on file for anything else that may come up.

Vallhala · 06/08/2010 22:10

I'd do it if I were you because I'd relish the challenge of your job.

Look around - unless there is something wrong, loved children don't suffer for going to nursery/childcare/having a nanny, as millions of working parents will testify. Sometimes the difficulty is with the parents and, as you say, feelings of guilt.

WRT your dog, I'd imagine that your income would be able to provide for a dog-sitter/walker (speaking as both a mum and a dog owner here).

Is the fact that your DH isn't keen on you returning to work adding to the guilt and piling on the pressure? If so, I'd ask him how he'd feel about being bored at home 24/7 AND how he'd feel about being a SAHD if he is adamant that your DC need a parent at home. It's always possible that he might suddenly see your point of view rather than be willing to relinquish HIS career in favour of full time parenthood!

usernamechanged345 · 06/08/2010 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blueshoes · 06/08/2010 22:38

racmac, sounds like your dcs are in school. If so, if you have an extra room for an aupair, then that can work quite well in terms of her doing the schoolrun, taking them home, making snacks, making sure they set aside time for homework etc. If your dh has to get used to someone in the house, well, he needs to get used life not revolving around his needs.

I work ft as an in-house solicitor, as the pt option was not available to me. I agree that it is actually easier work-wise. On the home front, it just requires more organisation, which you get into the groove. Others have also given useful suggestions about negotiating more leave over summer.

I still have about 6 weeks' of annual leave every year, which I can spend on sports days, ballet shows and holidays. It is not as if I work ft all year long and never see my dcs outside of weekends.

I think the dcs, dh and I have quite a nice balance. Working ft means less flexibility and more organisation to get things that need to be done done. But it is also more satisfying and meaningful - I am having it all in a way.

amistillsexy · 06/08/2010 23:03

I'm with redwhiteandblueberry on the part time work issue. I was an educational consultant and loved it when full-time, but found when I went part-time I was given itty-bitty cases, whilst still being expected to take on a full-time training caseload (we delivered training in teams). It caused nightmares when planning team work, and I was constantly being missed off meetings, etc and then told 'well you weren't here. We can't tell you everything' when I complained about being left out of the loop.
I also found that I was given no concessions once I was part time, so I would be made to feel dreadful if I took time off for the children on my 'working days', whereas when I was full-time this was considered a necessity and something to be covered by the rest of the team.
In the end, it was the dreadful guilt about any time off that made me decide to give up completely- I was going through diagnosis for ASD for DS1, and he was having lots of assessments and appointments with various psychs/paeds. These couldn't be moved, but always clashed with work days.
When i do go back to work, it will be full time, with rock-solid child-care (who won't send them home as soon as they sneeze!).
Go for it racmac-and good luck!

Original poster

racmac · 07/08/2010 08:15

thank you for all your thoughts - I am going to apply and state in the application that i would like to be considered for the role on a part time basis but i am flexible

OP posts:

blueshoes · 07/08/2010 08:43

racmac, I know you have spent some time thinking about this.

I do think, however, that since you are flexible, you should do it the other way, as in apply as if you are going for a ft job and then when they make the offer, ask if they have flexibility to consider you for a pt role.

In this job market, there is every chance they will be flooded with applications. You don't want to give them a reason to screen you out even at the first hurdle. Due to the high volume of applicants, recruiters have only seconds to scan a CV and screen - they throw out CVs on the most arbitrary reasons. I seriously think this is not the right approach if you are keen to get the role.

Or at the very least, only mention it at the interview, preferably second

ccpccp · 07/08/2010 09:36

Go for the job - and if you get it use part of the money to pay for really good childcare and dog services.

Stay at home mum isnt for everyone, in fact many dont get the choice unless they start playing the benefits system at cost to the taxpayer.

I dont think the solicitors will consider part time as they havent advertised the job that way. I wouldnt even mention it (or kids) as they have no reason to take you on when the job will have many many applicants.

PlanetEarth · 07/08/2010 10:38

I'd agree with blueshoes and ccpccp - don't put a part time request on the application.

NonnoMum · 07/08/2010 10:49

Have you not read the latest research? There is no evidence that children over a year suffer if there mother works. In fact, it can be much better for the mother's mental health if she DOES work.

No brainer.

Go for the job.

With the extra money get cleaners/dog walkers/finger painters in and go out and use your brain.

And there is no such thing as full time. You will have holiday entitlement won't you? And evenings, weekends etc.

NonnoMum · 07/08/2010 10:50

their mother, not there mother

Sorry - been away from work for too long.

DuelingFanjo · 07/08/2010 10:50

Go for it.

Haliborange · 07/08/2010 10:53

Agreed, I wouldn't either.

For a law firm to be recruiting at the moment means that they are really busy- noone is risking taking someone on and then having to make them redundant. They will have had to justify to the other partners why they need someone and all of this discussion will almost certainly have taken place on a ft basis.

Which doesn't mean, especially in Shropshire, that you can look forward to magic circle hours, but to get budget for hiring right now does suggest they are pretty busy. You have to play the game, which is tell them you are completely up for whatever they have going and then sound them out a bit further down the line. You may find, for example, that in the first interview they talk about their flexible working practices (some firms are rightly proud of that sort of thing) in which case you'll feel able to bring it up again at the second round. But if you go in there asking for pt you may not even get a first interview.

AnnieLobeseder · 07/08/2010 11:38

Agree with those saying not to mention part-time until you get the job offer. It would just skew their pre-interview opinion of you, probably negatively.

And those of you saying you can't understand why some women want to work when they could be at home... for goodness sake, move into the current century! Some of us HATE being at home, our jobs are enjoyable and rewarding, and our children are better off for us being happy and fulfilled rather than bored and resentful. Just because your choice works for you, doesn't mean it's right for everyone else. We have to sacrifice enough as parents without giving up our careers and sense of self-worth too.

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