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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

would you all like your children to attend university?

105 replies

GabbyLoggon · 05/08/2010 11:19

I have mixed feelings but they say the beer is good. You dont even necessarily get a good job with a degree these days. ..will that change?

OP posts:
Mingg · 05/08/2010 11:23

Yes I would, both my husband and I both have couple of degrees.

belgo · 05/08/2010 11:23

Only if they wanted to study something useful or that they were passionate about. I wouldn't want them going just because they think it's an easy option or just to have fun.

pagwatch · 05/08/2010 11:24

If they want to do a degree because they genuinely want to study a particular subject then yes.
DS2 want to study English and is apparently very good at it so we are very happy for him to be doing the visits and applying.
But if DD doesn't want to and has a career in mind that is fine.
If she wants to do a nonsense course at a crappy uni I would be much less keen.

expatinscotland · 05/08/2010 11:24

No. If they chose otherwise, it doesn't bother me.

NomDePlume · 05/08/2010 11:26

It depends on what courses/career they wanted to do. I'd encourage them to go if they were going to do a usueful course that was actually going to enhance their career potential, but if it was just going to be an excuse to loaf around half-arsedly doing a mickey mouse degree and sponging for another 3-4 years then no.

ZZZenAgain · 05/08/2010 11:27

I assume dd will be going to university. I wouldn't get in a major strop about it if she didn't but I would find it a bit strange.

Atm he plan is to be an archaeologist for a hile and then a policewoman. However she is 9 and plans change.

Megatron · 05/08/2010 11:28

If they want to and it would be useful for them, then yes. I don't want them to go just because their dad and I both did.

ZZZenAgain · 05/08/2010 11:29

just have one child so all your dc doesn't really apply to me. If I had 6 dc I don't know what I would think about it, probably get in a state about the cost...

LynetteScavo · 05/08/2010 11:29

DS1, yes definitely.

DS2, probably, but he's more arty than academic. Do you need a degree to go into party planning? That seems to be where his interests lie.

DD I can see going into something vocational such as midwifery or teaching, but who knows she's 5! But basically, yes.

minipie · 05/08/2010 11:30

If I thought they were academic enough to get a good result at a well respected university (i.e. that would actually enhance their career potential as NomDePlume says) then yes.

If they were not that academic then I think I would encourage them towards vocational courses and qualifications (which I really hope will have improved by that time) rather than getting a less good degree.

MmeRedWhiteandBlueberry · 05/08/2010 11:30

Yes I would.

2kids2dogsandahorse · 05/08/2010 11:31

Hmmm I would like both my DDs to go to university, but only if they want to. Personally I don't really care whether they are academic or not or what they end up doing as long as they do their best and are happy in their lives.

BollockBrain · 05/08/2010 11:31

not particularly. It is rare to get a job these days using a degree Alot of debt, and at the age of 21 with no work experience you may be further down the list of hopefuls at an interview. Sad but true.

I would support them if they decided to go, but do not feel it is a must for them.

violethill · 05/08/2010 11:32

Agree with belgo.

There is no value in going to University just for the sake of it these days. 30/40 years ago there was a prestige attached to it, so few people got in, so it had a value which no longer exists. Plus you now tend to graduate with shedloads of debt and not necessarily better prospects.

If they wanted to be a doctor, teacher etc then obviously yes, because you need to, but I think going to University is a very different animal these days from when DH and I went, and I wouldn't automatically think 'They've got to go'.

Another thing - in the 'old days' (!) University was more of a landmark in terms of leaving home, gaining independence, whereas these days, young people often have that type of independence by 16 or 17, so I don't think University would be the same experience anyway.

DDDixon · 05/08/2010 11:33

Hmmm....my daughter is only a little baby still, so it's hard to imagine what she'll want to do when she's a teenager!

If there is something that she really wants to study or a career that she really wants like teaching, law or medicine/healthcare, I would like her to go, but my hopes for her are more along the lines of her finding a way of making a living that's rewarding and/or enjoyable for her. Whatever her abilities, I want her to be a good citizen and to find contentment, other than that I'm not really fussed

It does worry me though, as I don't know how we will be able to afford university for her if she does want to go. I went, as did DP, but we could not have without grants.

Porcelain · 05/08/2010 11:34

I disagree with the idea of going to university just to get "a degree". Mostly because I have a lot of friends who spent 3/4 years getting themselves into debt then found that the degree they had didn't make them all that employable and ended up going into work they could have got straight out of A-levels (and with 3 years of experience and wages been in a better position and on better pay than a graduate would start with). For instance I know several archeology graduates, none of whom could find work in archeology and so ended up in offices and call centres. I also know graduates who have had to lie about having a degree (and in a couple of cases a PhD) so they can get jobs they are "overqualified" for.

If they wanted to get into a graduate professional career, or something that required a degree, then I would wholeheartedly encourage them. Same if they had a definite interest in a particular subject and the drive to properly get something out of it.

2kids2dogsandahorse · 05/08/2010 11:37

maybe 'don't care' was the wrong way of phrasing it, what I mean is I want my DDs to grow up happy and confident and I will be proud of them whatever they end up doing as long as it is what they want to do and they are content

tyler80 · 05/08/2010 11:40

With the way fees are currently I'd recommend they didn't go unless it was a degree that led into a very specific job/career

None of this "just do a subject you enjoy crap" I got told as careers advice. If I had my time again I wouldn't go.

MrsC2010 · 05/08/2010 11:41

Only if what they wanted to do required a degree. Some for of post grad qual though. (Both DH and I have a degree and other professional quals in our respective fields.)

MrsC2010 · 05/08/2010 11:44

Sorry, some form of qual. I would also want to ensure that they knew how to pick the right uni for what they wanted to do to get the best shot.

DivineInspiration · 05/08/2010 11:45

I was largely disenchanted with the whole university experience. I didn't feel the quality of teaching was particularly good, and I don't feel that my degree is particularly prestigious or a good recognition of my skills because I know how little work I put in to get it - I don't mean that in a big-headed "I'm so clever I don't need to try" way, just that I don't feel there was an enormous amount of learning, study or work involved in it. And it's a 'traditional' Arts subject (History) from a good university (UCL).

It wouldn't bother me at all if DC chose not to go, if they had alternative career plans. I wouldn't want them to feel that it would be a complete waste of time, because I know my experience isn't representative of all students and that it's the soft skills which a degree teaches you which can be most valuable in employment, but nor would I want them to feel it was the be all and end all. I have friends who left school with A levels and went straight into work who are just as successful in the careers they chose to do and were passionate about as friends who went to uni - some even more so.

bruffin · 05/08/2010 11:50

Unfortunately too many jobs need a degree nowadays ie DH an august baby was only 15 when he started his apprenticeship as an electronics engineer, he did in work training to get his professional qualifictations but nowadays the same jobs he does requite a degree. He knows people who can't get interviews despite because they haven't degrees despite many many years of work experience because the HE departments are so fixated on degrees.
The boys I know who left at 16 and 18 recently have found it very difficult to get good jobs.

needtomoveon · 05/08/2010 11:52

If they want to, then I would support them (financially, god knows how??!! ). I went to uni at 18 and hated it because I was sent there by parents/teachers who thought they knew best. I failed lots of exams and eventually dropped out. I went back in my late twenties, totally different course/uni, loved it, worked hard (less need to beer it up as I had my twenties to get through that stage). I chose the degree I wanted and came out with a first and went on to do postgrad research. Hopefully, I will listen to my kids a bit more than I was listened to and if one of them wants to go on the bins/stack shelves at Tesco and is happy with that then fine by me (naturally, I am secretly hoping that one of them will earn wodges of cash and keep me in a style I'd like to become accustomed to in my old age )

mayorquimby · 05/08/2010 11:52

without a doubt.

nomedoit · 05/08/2010 11:53

I used to teach law at a university which was a former poly. We took a lot of students through clearing with 3 'C's' at A level. They were miserable. Couldn't keep up and our drop-out rate/fail rate was v. high. It's better to find a course that suits, uni or not, imo.