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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

would you all like your children to attend university?

105 replies

GabbyLoggon · 05/08/2010 11:19

I have mixed feelings but they say the beer is good. You dont even necessarily get a good job with a degree these days. ..will that change?

OP posts:
MayorNaze · 05/08/2010 12:52

i went to uni full of hope that i would be taken seriously and my presence would be valued

course and uni full of people there purely for the craic, so to speak, academia v v low on the list and not sure any of my lecturers ever even knew who i was.

though of course i realise this could be my fault as well

either way a waste of 3 years and £12,000

Fortheverylasttime · 05/08/2010 12:59

Google 'notgoingtouni.co.uk'

ZZZenAgain · 05/08/2010 13:02

I see what you mean MayorNaze. That's what I meant I wasn't sure if it was disillusionment re heavy intake and graduate unemployement or the way the degree was taught, the experience at university itself. In fact it is both! That's bad

PaulineCampbellJones · 05/08/2010 13:03

I loved my time at Uni. I learnt to live independently, had a year out abroad and am now bilingual as a result.
However I do not use my degree in my day to day job (although I did get a graduate position with BT by dint of having said degree)
I would however prefer my DD to follow a vocation be it in degree form or otherwise if that is what she wanted to do.

edam · 05/08/2010 13:03

Yes, I'd like ds to go to university. Not so much to enhance his job prospects, more because three years thinking time is quite a good thing. And because it's a good bridge from childhood to adulthood.

nymphadora · 05/08/2010 13:08

Only for the useful qualification. Wouldn't encourage a vague one.

ATM both want careers which will need degrees but at 8&10 still likely to change

tyler80 · 05/08/2010 13:17

I love the idea that university helps you grow up, I'm sure you grow up a whole lot quicker if you start full time work.

My experience not too dissimilar from mayornaze. Barely even knew my lecturers (some lectures were 100 plus) and didn't really learn anything I couldn't teach myself out of a book. 3 years of being piss poor, surrounded by people who weren't (first year to have fees, plenty on my course got grants because they'd deferred a year), no pastoral care. Finishing uni to find the "interest free" loan is actually charging 4.8%.

Didn't go to my graduation but I've got a piece of paper that says I got a 2:1 from a good university. Not worth 14 grand.

ZZZenAgain · 05/08/2010 13:21

those who thought little of the way they were taught and feel it was not worth the time/cost, can I ask what you studied?

(I'm wondering if the experience is dependent on the degree subject)

SloanyPony · 05/08/2010 13:22

Mine are very young so I dont yet know their academic ability. If I did, and they had great academic ability, then I'd probably want them to.

However, not knowing how they'll be, I think what I want for them is for them to have a good, realistic goal upon leaving school, whenever that might be - if for instance my son is not academic and not interested in doing a degree, I'll be trying to help him work out what he does want to do. It might be that he would be better off going to college and getting a plumbing qualification and instead of helping him with rent so he can study for 3 years, we can buy him a van and some tools and he can set up his own business.

That kind of thing. Working out what they like and are good at, nurturing their talents, whatever they are, and supporting them in that.

My parents pushed me to do a degree I didn't want to do and it wasn't so great a time for me. There was a lot of pressure and it didn't achieve what they wanted it to acheive for them me

tyler80 · 05/08/2010 13:25

Studied Biology

Fortheverylasttime · 05/08/2010 13:28

tylerpony.

If I did not despise 'prooooooof by anecdote', I would go down the local haberdasher with a view to embroidering your last comment onto my firescreen.

Fortheverylasttime · 05/08/2010 13:30

Nor do I get the graduation picture on the piano thing.

ZZZenAgain · 05/08/2010 13:31

I should think none of us have done an empirical study on the value of taking a degree, so what else can we do but talk about our own experiences. What is to despise about that?

Fortheverylasttime · 05/08/2010 13:32

second last

getabloodygrip · 05/08/2010 13:34

Yes, as long as it was suitable for them and vica versa. Each child is very different, but my DH sorely regrets that he dropped out after 6 weeks because "he couldn't be arsed" (easily bored my fellow) because not only for the academic qualification, which these days seem to be essential, but just for the life experience.

Even 20 years on, I relish my memories of university, I truly loved every minute, learnt lots, had a blast, and got a great career out of it.

All options are open with me for my children, I'd encourage them, as long as it was right for them.

Fortheverylasttime · 05/08/2010 13:35

'teach myself out of a book'

  • internet

What price cloisters?

ByTheSea · 05/08/2010 13:39

DS1-14 won't be going to uni. He is just not at all academic. Hopefully he'll go for more vocational qualifications and find something he enjoys doing.

DS2-13 is quite able, but has significant behavioural issues. I really can't hazard a guess.

DD1-11 is about to start at a superselective grammar so I am very hopeful that she'll go to uni and get a good degree in something that interests her.

DD2-8 is very academic too (more so even than DD1) and all her dream career plans involve study and more study, so I am hopeful she'll also go to uni.

sarahngtu · 05/08/2010 13:39

I am really disappointed but not surprised to hear that so many people feel that their university experience was ultimately a waste of time and money. I work for an organisation called notgoingtouni.co.uk and we are dedicated to helping people make informed decisions about their future by showing the opportunities that exist outside of the traditional route.

While uni is great for many people, there are loads of ways that you can have a successful career without completing a full time degree course. We have details of alternative ways that you can get a qualification with running up a huge debt and sometimes even get paid while you are studying or training!

As a parent myself I will be strongly advising against university unless it is a requirement of a chosen profession due to the level of debt and the fact that you can often find a good vocational route into many sectors.

Fortheverylasttime · 05/08/2010 13:43

ZZ. You are right. The magical thing about mumsnet is that it is all about anecdotes and real life experiences. F.

Fortheverylasttime · 05/08/2010 13:44

Just read that back and it was NOT sarcastic.

kickassangel · 05/08/2010 13:48

if dd doesn't do a degree, pil will cut us off & pretend we never existed - it's what they've done to every other family member who didn't live up to their standards.

so, although i think it would be great for her, part of me wants her not to, just to see the cat bum's face on mil face if it happens!

i'm evil, aren't i?

MathsMadMummy · 05/08/2010 13:52

no, not necessarily. but this is years away for my own kids.

my DSS is hopefully off to uni next year, but then I really think it's not going to work out unfortunately. he's been set on a particular career but he's just not working hard enough

my DSDs are twins. one very academically able but wants to be an actress and have the easy life the other dyslexic but loves science etc... oh, I don't know. I just want them all to find something they're good at.

I am really not happy with the whole '50% go to uni' - it's silly IMO. there is nothing wrong with not being academic, there is no point getting yourself into crippling debt and studying something useless and irrelevant. especially as there's no bloody jobs anyway!

my parents both have degrees (my dad's is from Cambridge) and they've not been at all relevant in their careers.

I'm very lucky - my OU degree (maths, obviously!) is fully funded. I'm basically being paid to study my favourite subject.

basically - as long as my children work hard, enjoy their school life, and get a decent job in the end, I'm happy. a degree for the sake of it is really silly.

TheChewyToffeeMum · 05/08/2010 13:53

I would prefer my kids to think about what they want to do and decide the best way to get there. I like the idea mentioned above of spending what would have been uni funds on helping DS or DD set up in a trade.

DH and I both did vocational degrees but I see little point in doing a non-vocational degree unless you are passionate about the subject and plan to go into research or teaching.

DingALongCow · 05/08/2010 13:56

Only if they want to.

I went to university and loved the study, loved the intellectual challenge. I spent 4 years immersed in my subject with lots of like-minded people-bliss!

DH went to university to escape his hometown and had a more focused approach to his studies. He is now immersed in an academic job and is constantly astonished at the entitled attitude and lack of ability of the undergraduates coming through the system.

My younger brother was expected to go to university by my parents, even though he only got D F U for his A-levels. He lasted two years, started two different courses and failed all his exams. He is now in a job he loves which is much more suited to his specific skills. He is also successfully studying for qualifications in his area.

PosieParker · 05/08/2010 13:56

If they want to, yes.