would you all like your children to attend university?

[GabbyLoggon]

I have mixed feelings but they say the beer is good. You dont even necessarily get a good job with a degree these days. ..will that change?

DS is still a baby so no ideas of whether he's going to turn out to be academic or not.

Assuming he's relatively academic then I would be disappointed if he didn't go onto a good uni. The reasoning is that I'm an Oxbridge grad and it was a good experience/degree for me to do. My husband dropped out part-way through a degree and he's still finding (at 39) that he just won't get an interview for some positions without it despite having good experience and being very intellegent. He's probably going to give in a do some form of part-time tertiary qualification in the next few years.

That said, we had a discussion the other day. If DS wants to do something I would regard as a Mickey Mouse degree just to go to uni we might refuse to support him financially. The obvious problem is how you define a Mickey Mouse degree. I don't think the only reason to go to uni is to get a good job at the end. Happy to support DS if he wants to study archeology (to use an example above) even if his career prospects are poor if it's something he's passionate about. Less happy to support him in doing Media Studies with Kite-flying with Art History because it'll be a doddle and he can spend loads of time in the pub.

I had similar experience to MayorNaze; disappointed by low teaching standards and think many of the students should not have been let onto the course. I also found it a very impersonal experience; a very expensive reading list, essentially. And this was a Russell Group university. I was already quite independent and had had lots of fun while at school/college, so university was nothing much new in that respect. I hope dcs will find better (and more profitable) opportunities after leaving school, or that they have some kind of goal e.g. medicine/vet/dentist. I'll be very reluctant to watch them get into debt just for want of a better idea.

I wouldn't push DS to go if he didn't want to or was unclear about where he was aiming with it but I have heard anecdotes that employers are looking for people with degrees even to fill posts such as receptionists (no disrespect to receptionists). Jobs that years ago you could probably get with O levels. With so many people with degrees now I suppose employers can pick and choose more. I also feel 18 is young for some to know what they want to do for a job so 3 years at university delays the inevitable. At least that's what I tell my son - as soon as you start working, if you're living at home you'll have to pay your way and if you move out you'll have bills to pay. You've got 50 years of that ahead of you so I think university delays it somewhat. I'd have to weigh it up with the debt he'd leave with at the end and let him make his own choice about it.

Depends on the person.

DS1 went. He knew what he wanted to do and went away to university for four years to get the necessary qualification.

DD did the same. She as since switched careers.

DS2 did A levels but didn't enjoy school much so decided not to go to university. He continued partime with the retail job he had in the 6th form, passed his driving test, got some sports qualification. A year after leaving school he started a 4 year advance craft apprenticeship (sp?). He is now earning £50K+ has lived in his own house for more than a year, and is debt free apart from his mortgage.

A degree doesn't guarantee well paid work, and you can still do well without one.
Lots of people I know rattle on about the experience of going to university. DS2 had similar experiences to DS1 & DD even though he stayed at home and they moved 2-3 hours car ride away. He met new people at work and through sport. He partied and if he got drunk he cleaned the mess up.....he grew up! you don't have to go to university to do that.

We still have 3 teenagers at home. I would be happy for them to do a degree. But only if they pick a subject that leads into a proper career, engineering, law, teaching etc.
I know others will disagree but I don't want my DC doing a subject, just because they enjoy it and can't think of anything better to do. Mine will be responsible for their own debt, and if they have no final goal in mind at 18 or 19 they should get a job instead....hopefully a job with training or day relaese which will lead a good career. Lots I know will disagree, but what is the point leaving university in your early 20's and working in a shop or call centre. Or even worse drifting into a post grad course and getting into more debt.

Not really. Depends what they want to do. They could be an entrepenur or a brickie and be a millionaire. I know millionaires who those and have no qualifications.
I have a BA and a MA. both useless. But I was one of the last with no fees, so i had a part time jobs and left havign no student debt. Is not like that now.
Dh has only o'levels and has a much better job than me.

No but i would support them if they wanted a job where they needed a degree. I think a trade apprentship is more useful.

I think that it is something entirely up to them-a parent should support and encourage, but not map out what they want to happen. I think that these days just going to get a degree in a subject that you like is a complete waste of time and money. I have 2 on the university route and one who has an apprenticeship and I think that the apprenticeship one will ultimately be the most successful.

I have 17, 15 & 13 yearolds still at home.

All are bright, enjoy sport and are good at it.

I'm trying to convince the 17 & 15 yearold of the danger of 'doing sport'. Lots of young men think this is the perfect career move! A PE teacher, or a personal trainer, but only if they fail at football, cricket and rugby! We must not destroy their dreams, but it would be unfair not to point out the pitfalls.

tyler - my point about growing up is the opposite to yours. I like university as it is a transition to full adulthood. I don't want ds to go straight from exams into wage slavery for 40 years. I want him to have time to adjust and time to think, not just about work and earning a living but about the use of metaphor in the works of V S Naipaul or the latest developments in string theory or whatever.

If my children wanted to go I would support it but I wouldn't be upset if they decided to take a different path.

My DH has his own business that does not make use of his degree qualifications at all, but his time at Oxford mingling with upper and upper middle class students taught him as a working class boy how to interface with them and more about their world view. Most of his customer base are these people and he believes that it gives him an edge over the competition in business. A degree at the right university can have other benefits besides the obvious academic ones so I wouldn't worry too much if they wanted to do non vocational degrees.

My brother left school at 16 and did an apprenticeship, and has done very well. But as part of the apprenticeship, he had to study and go to college.

Are there really jobs that you can get at 18 that are equivalent to a lot of the non-graduate careers that graduates take? I took a non-graduate job after my under-graduate degree, but it wasn't the sort of job that 18 year olds get. Generally, people who leave school now at 18 and don't go into an apprenticeship, university or some other sort of study tend to get jobs that involve photocopying and making cups of tea. I would love to hear stories that prove me wrong, in case my kids do decide they don't want to study.

I hope mine want to study. I don't care about university. Maybe they will want to study dance, or acting, or plumbing. I cannot imagine reaching any point in my life and not wanting to have something I am studying, at least on a part time or evening basis. But I suppose taking time to learn novel things that aren't about making money isn't everyone's cup of tea.

DH and I just wnated our children to follow the path they wanted to, They are now 23,20 and 18. The eldest has been through uni and done a PGCE this year, The 20 year old has just finished uni and the 18 year old is doing a few more years at college, She is dyspraxic and a late developer so she is a couple of years behind where her sisters were at that age, In September she is going to do THe BTECH IT First Diploma.

DS1 is already there...he did his foundation year while working full time and I am rediculously proud of him given that his teachers wrote him off at high school because of his 'impulsive behaviour' (he has frontal lobe epilepsy and struggled massively during puberty).

DS2 is academic and sporty so I think it would be a great place for him to 'grow further' should he choose it (if I'm honest, I would be disappointed if he didn't because I know he'd love it).

DD has LD but I'm really hoping she will choose an agricultural college near to us, as her love of animals is ever growing.

I want them all to enjoy a learning environment for as long as possible and to carry that love with them for life.

That could be somewhere other than uni though.

My ds is at college doing a performing musicians course ..its something hes good at ..so no

i haven't read the full thread just skimmed through so i don't know if this has been asked but are we talking a specific age at which our children should attend, for instance when they finished college at 18 or are we saying in there lifetime after children, travelling etc??

my dad was very upset when i dropped out of college at 17 got a job and had children as he always said he wanted more for me but since then i have returned to college done an access course had 2 babies and i finally start my degree in september, he is all chuffed now. i turned 25 last month as well

i personally want my children to be happy in what they choose to do it makes no difference to me whether they go to university or not. my dd is 4 and at the minute she wants to be a tattooist and own her own shop as for my ds if it involves pink he'll do it although he is only 18 month old so im sure any choices will change.

Yes, if they want to. I actually don't care what they do or whether it is "useful" but I believe in education for education's sake, and that going to university widens your life experience much more then entering the world of work at 18.

If they didn't want to go I would try to encourage them to do voluntary work for a couple of years.

Eldest is likely to leave school unable to write his name.

I hope ds2 and ds3 will do whatever make them happy. Whether that includes university or not is up to them.

(I have Oxford degree where I met dh, am about to have 2 PhD's, and MSc blah bah, but that is my life - their choice whether or not they want that).

I'd rather they didn't go, than spent loads of money to go somewhere crap to do something they weren't very interested in.

I really hope they find their passion fairly early on. Couldn't care less whether it was vocational or academic or something entirely different. But would love them to find something they're passionate about.

I kind of hope he might, if he is good enough at something and would like to learn more about it with a view to doing something with that knowledge at the end of it. I also feel it is a valuable life experience (I used my university time as a stepping stone away from home - a large one, i went to uni 250 miles from home!- and also took advantage of the summer holidays to get a great job in USA each year, including a whle year out there at the end - a HUGELY wonderful time I would never have had without uni - AND I got a degree in a very interesting subject too, and got to study at a university in France for part of the time)

However, it may not be for him, he might not be the kind of person who would suit university. I would MUCH rather he find something he loves to do, and do it, than struggle through a uni course he cannot do, doesn't like and is unhappy with, just becasue uni is expected.

We would like our DCs to go to a good university to do a proper degree in a proper subject.

The reason is that we feel he experience of life at a good university is that it widens a person's experience in a way that just going to work after school does not. It also opens up more options in the job market.

I would advise against anyone going to do a degree in a non academic subject at a poorly ranked university. It would be far better for them to go to train as say a manager/chef at one of the top hotel/catering schoolsor as a plumber, builder, electrician, and start their own business.

Yes, regardless of whether they ever get a job out of it I think it's worth doing for its own sake. But no mickey mouse degrees though.

Also I dont want them to be working a 20 hour week when they are there. Uni study should be full-time not just something to squeeze in between shifts at the union bar.

So if they have to save up for a year or 2 after school before going I'd be happy with that.The people I knew who started at 19/20/21 were better students than the 17/18 yos.

To whoever who wanted stories about getting a professional job without a degree.

I know a number of people who post a-levels went to work in an accountants, then got trained up whilst working and are now fully fledged accountants.

It took my friend ten years in total, but that included a few years off in the middle where she was qualified as a tax something or other and just wanted a break from working and studying.

my dd is 12 and has her sight set on university and then becoming a primary school teacher no matter what.

Edam, if there were no fees then I'd agree. I'd love to be able to advise my children that they can spend 3 years at university finding their feet but I'd be doing them a disservice if I told them it's always worth getting into huge amounts of debt for. I'll still be paying off my student loan when my own children go to university.

Edam, if there were no fees then I'd agree. I'd love to be able to advise my children that they can spend 3 years at university finding their feet but I'd be doing them a disservice if I told them it's always worth getting into huge amounts of debt for. I'll still be paying off my student loan when my own children go to university.

Yes, but I won't be worse than mildly disappointed if they don't.
I feel sure that I would be a much more ignorant and less worldly person if I hadn't gone to Uni, I don't want DC to miss out on that mind-expanding (in the nice, non halluncinogenic way) experience. I would have had so many fewer opportunities in life if I hadn't gone to Uni (and both my degrees are from arguably so-so Universities).

I come from USA where high debts to get a degree has always been normal, so that part doesn't bother me at all.

Agree about Micky Mouse degrees being low value, would be nearly the same as not going at all in my mind.