to be annoyed that DH stalks me on MN talk

[griffaloschild]

The other week I walked in to our living room and DH started quoting to me something I had posted on here.

I was a little taken aback and asked him what he was talking about. He went on to explain that he had been looking for threads that he could see I'd looked at (either highlighted or through history) and looking to see if and what I had posted.

I felt a little... well.. violated might be a bit strong...but you know what I mean. I said it felt like he had been looking at my diary/emails/texts but he said I was being very silly and that as it is a public forum it was fair game. My argument was that we don't use our real names, by and large, to preserve some anonymity.

AIBU?

p.s. hello DH hope you enjoyed this one!

This would piss me of and I know my boyfriend sometimes does it - it might be a public forum, but it's no coincidence that he is on it.

A bar might be a public place, but I wouldn't be happy if my boyfriend sneakily followed me out one evening and sat eavesdropping behind a pillar when I was taking to friends.

The bottom line is that he clearly thinks he is entitled to know everything about you, even the stuff you choose not to share with him - basically he thinks you are not entitled to any privacy outside your relationship, and that is insulting.

BB, you need to develpp[ a code I reckon. My nieceas are fluent in this language where they swap vowels or the end of words or something.

[personally I would get my own laptop and tell him tio get lost if he had fitted a jey stroke - that is completeloy controlling imo

Yep! I forgave him (eventually). He was being very insecure at the time. Plain bloody daft actualy. I've thought about getting my own laptop too but don't want to spend the money. And as I've said, I've nothing to hide so it doesn't really matter anyway. Don't worry - I'm not controlled! Oh, if only you knew me. Ha ha!

well, BB, glad you came to an understanding

that it is ok for him to delve into your privacy to the extent that you cannot open up to your girlfriends in case he finds out what you are saying

did you use the keylogger to look at what he was writing/emailing etc ??

would he have been ok for you to do that ?

sorry, don't mean to jump on you

I just don't get this "it's ok if he sees everything because I have nothing to hide anyway"

that is not the point !!

"That works just so long as your husband doesn't load up one of those keystroke things"

Hell, BB, that's a lot further than most people would go. Verging on the obsessive. OK, have seen your later post now, but amazed that you seem so calm about it now...

It's in the league of (industrial) espionage / criminals to be using key stroke loggers, not the average person, not even the average computer nerd would stoop that low (unless it was to win thousands in a competition, perhaps, staying on a par with someone they couldn't match except by cheating).

AF maybe the simple fact that BB is aware of it means she could write "get knotted

NG...I prefer the real kick in the bollocks to the virtual one

No, I prefer the virtual kick myself. That said, I really don't think he's doing it now. And if he is, and reads this, he is going to be MORTIFIED! He'll be sooooo ashamed that it'll be revenge enough.

Unfortunately my husband is very good with computers, electronics etc. It's the nature of his job. Still can't put the bloody light up in the downstairs toilet though.

And I do open up to my girlfriends - just not on the computer anymore. Annoying thing is, I've often left very deliberate trails (links on favourites, or downloaded pictures etc) for stuff I want for presents but he always misses those.