OK, so how would YOU change the welfare system?

[MathsMadMummy]

just wondering following on from various threads lately. sorry it's probably been done before.

I guess it's more a question of how you'd change the culture really, where people feel it's their entitlement to never work etc.

I have no idea what the answer is, please tell me your bright ideas

The paying the parent to be at home is a bit insane tbh.

At least if the goverment are helping to pay towards the cost of childcare you know that the childcare you are sending your child to is regulated by OFSTED, your child is getting educated by someone who has a clue about EYFS and they are socialising and being looked after by a person who is dedicated. Yes there are parents who could do this and if they feel they can then they should register as a childminder as I have done, that way they can be with their child and benefit other children as well as earn a wage. Of course this is not for everyone, it's low paid (despite everyone saying how highly paid their childcarers are, I can assure you that after expenses it doesn't pay that well. I charge £3 per hour per child but I'm not always full and I have tax and expenses to pay)

At the end of the day we all need to put money into the economy in order to sort this mess out.

But Xenia all the research shows that a 50/50 split of time is damaging for children except in those few cases where both parents are committed to making it work and able to communicate well with the other parent. The children end up feeling as though they belong nowhere, rather than that they have two homes. And many parents don't want this.

Lovemygirls - I can totally understand why you'd not like the idea, it somewhat kills your industry dead but the argument you are better placed to parent because you are ofsted registered is a bit Isn't the EYFS being scrapped because it's basically a load of rubbish trying to quantify babies achievements ?

We all need to put money into the economy, well not paying a childminder or nursery I could support local business, such as the local coffee shop and various local farms, with my child.

Sigh. No one said 'better placed to parent'. It's childcare. Not parenting.

Xenia it would just make it impossible for anyone to work full time. Why would fathers trying to find childcare one week on and one week off or one month on and one week off, or 6 months on and 6 months off find it any easier than mothers? Granted it might make the employers wake up and recognise reality if fathers were forced to pay the same attention to childcare as mothers do, take the same time off for sickness, school events, etc., but how long would it take them to adjust? Women have been in the workforce since the days of the mills and employers still don't seem to appreciate that juggling work and childcare is difficult.

Isdances, you are absolutely right about all mothers working whether in the home or out, and the need to recognise this. Single mothers are the easiest target there is -- both for the moralists on their high horses and the penny pinchers.

lovemygirls loads of people wold and could be a Cm but can't for very practical reasons, such as against terms of the many thousands (hundreds of thousans? more?) mof privtae tenancies out there

It doesn't ref;ect on someone's ability to parents whether they are a CM or not!

I;d be a teachr now if the boys didn't have SN: would that ean I as a better apent than you becuase I had a post grad cert and everything?

of course not; ridiculous idea.

My sis manages a huge nursery and therefore relies of my parents to parent her child as she isn;t there to do it.

No logic at all.

Except that yes, if you want childcare better get someone qualified and checked out.

Oh and lots of kids don't want to be with each aprent 50-50- esp. if one has ahd to move away for work or whatever

Or one aprent might not be able to afford a house big enough for shared care if they are the currently non-resi aprent and (shock) actually contributing towards their kid's upbringing

Silly idea: can see where it comes from and that's from a good ideological stance, but not practical IRL.

Would be better focussiong on men's parenting lerave etc in the workplace: it's clear that whilst being the top performer in his workplace, his application for flexible working to enable me to work is the reason he was on the redundancy list.

better tackle that first eh?

I'm not saying I'm better placed to parent, EYFS guidelines are good just the paperwork that goes with it that is pointless, I totally agree with taking photographs so parents can see what their child has been doing but I don't agree with linking it to statements because it's time consuming and not necessary, my "spare" time would be better spent by having family time with my own children as they share me a lot of the time or by me relaxing therefore having more energy when I am with my mindee's.

You wouldn't put as much back into the economy it would mostly go into your bills because say all the parents of the children I cared for stayed at home you would have 3 more famillies who would be using their electric, gas, water etc and that would need to be paid for whereas at the moment they don't use those things when they are at work and the children come to me where all of those things are shared.

If childcare costs £3, minimum wage is £5.80 and the goverment pay up to 80% how can it possibly be that you can't afford to work? Now I know that as soon as somone starts work their benefits are cut and I do agree it should be tapered for a short time say 3 months while you get a few pay cheques. One mum of a child I minded didn't last long in work because as soon as she did they cut her housing benefit and council tax and that cost more than she was earning.

I'm not saying you are a better parent if you are a childminder, I'm saying that IF you want to stay at home with your children and think you are doing a good job and would benefit other children then becoming a childminder is a way to stay at home and earn money providing a service. You sound like you have the skills and knowledge to be a childminder and could specialise looking after children with SN, people are always saying there aren't enough childcarers who can look after their SN child. This may not be something you want to do or can do because of your landlord, although anywhere I have lived I have asked permission and they have agreed so it is worth asking imo if it is something you would want to do.

Maybe I'd be a teacher by now if I hadn't got pregnant at 16 but there's not really much point thinking about the what if's because it doesn't change things does it?

Maybe I'll re-train in years to come, who knows for now I'm happy to do what I do because I believe it's for the best.

Perhaps we need to be VERY VERY careful who we choose to have a baby with.... There seems to be more care taken over getting married that having a child with a feckless man...

I would want to see all benefits capped when you have more than 2 children. You do not get a bigger council house, you do not jump up the waiting list, you dont receive any more child benefit etc. If the consequences mean that your children need to share a room, there isnt money for treats, etc then so be it. There seem to be little consequences for people who make rubbish decisions in their life.

Do you think Rocky that you get a room per child? I used to work with a family (working!) in a council house with 5 kids who were pelased as they'd just been moved into a three bed

In fact, if we went into council we'd have to be awarded a four bed (becuase the two ASD boys need their own rooms) but I'd far rather sracpe by sharing than rely on council / HA housing. Sharing is fine. Well, as long as ds1 has his own room- that's not debatable for safety reasons.

Rocky, you do relaise that plenty of famillies like mine had really quite good careers and incomes when they ahd their 3 or more children *then( someone got ill or redundant or whatever? That large family on benefits / tc support in no way automatically equals feckless sods who are trying to screw the national purse?

I am not talking about the people that have fallen on hard times, who have worked and then through no fault of their own find themselves struggling.

I am talking about the young girls who choose to have children with some twat, or people who dont choose to work because it is better to be on benefits, who dont see the point of school and learning and who mess it up for everyone else, who believe it is not fair that others have something they they dont have. People who dont think before they do something and then expect others to pick up after them.

Rocky and you will tell the difference how? Because HB/IS/JSA are well known for their fair judgement

No automatic right to council accomendation if you are under 18. You can either live with your family or in special young mother units where you will be given support and training.

Schools to have more power to exclude pupils who are badly behaved and who spoil it for others.

They cannot sign council or any other tenancy agreements under the age of 18 and many who can't return to their parents go into foster care along with their baby.
I'm quite hard line on this sort of thing but under 18's getting pregnant I think deserve an element of sympathy purely because the silly buggers don't know what they are doing.

YOu do read in the press abpout people getting bigger council houses because they have a larger family.

(Plenty of other countries make 50/50 work and many parents in the UK share childcare - the nanny is with whichever parent the children are with or the same nursery is used by mother and father. Single mothers work very full time like I do and arrange childcare so saying a man should hae to do it half not all the time is surely just as doable. Children who are used to it don't mind it. It is also a lot fairer on fathers and also children who want more time with their fathers.)

i agree with most nothing much should be changed but crack down on fraud and people milking the system...kids dont need 2 parents at home 24/7 so get 1 parent from every family out earning no excuses!! cant find a job bla de bla yep there hard to come by but lower ur standards im sure ur kid would be proud to say yeah my dad (or mum) works at say any fastfood outlet (most people right now reading going aye wid a heck)than saying my mum or dad dont work!! start low aim high!!:)

Agree with Xenia, plenty of other countries make 50/50 work and the children are perfectly fine.

I'd stop paying teenage girls to get pregnant!

I agree with teenage mother units though I would genunely see them as a supportive environment: no council house until a certain age (what? 20?) but a palce in one of these units.

I;d still pay benefits clearly not housing as wouldn;t be needed becuase there illustrated is the very difference between penalising kids and penalising teh decision maker.

even then though- reality is that not everyone making those decisions is equall. they're just not.

OK I went to school with many girls who got knocked up at 14 and I know nothing of most of their stories tbh, only one I knew was running wild at nine mind so not entirely convinced what a chance she ever stood. if you are having sex in the aprk at nine you are a victim somewhere frankly.

And the friend I mentioned earlier: 4 kids by 20, and a striaght A student until her Dad started absuing her for an eight year run (SSD di pull her in the end)

Now how the hell you diffrentiate I do not know. Which is why I'd probbaly choose the road of both least harm and punishment: the accomodation above.

And we mustn't include all teenage mums either- best mum I ever knew had her first at sixth form, is still with her cpartner now and working; another friend's dd very similar story.

In my honest beleif those who are genuinely playing tyhe statre now are probably in the main unsaveable: what mattwers is stopping the cyclew and its therefore important not to alienate the kids. We want them to feel more saocial responsibility and sense of being part of it all, not less.

This is a good analysis of why there are so many unemployed at the moment.

Its shocking.

aclairea

there are huge redundancies atm: today I was in Asda and watched a group of people being given their cards. Asda.

Now, three years ago yep, there were enough jobs for all. Now though there are not. Temporatily probably, but when formulating long term plans I think it is very important to recognise that now is a time of especial circumstances and rebalance. And just accept that makes everything harder. Not impossible no, but it will take time and that will be longer than before.

I am old (ish); i've lived through more than one recession- it picks up but not without a good shaky patch first. And some areas will emerge before others, and some trades will suffer more than others, guaranteed.

Cuts are going to happen whatever so concentrate on building teh ways for people to get out of the pit- if they don't tkae the ladders and when it's all over sit there alughing well then yes, they've definitely gone over to the feckless camp. But get the ladders in palce first. Get childcare available to all (not just SN kids- accidentally ckicked on a SE lcoal thread once and saw the trouble people were having getting nursery placements after one closed suddenly: threse were working, contributing people who were still finding barriers every way). make it so that if you sign up to a carers bank and get a days work every few weeks your rntire income doesn't halt whilst you are reassessed. Take away teh scary titles- the person here working towards getting people into jobs is known as an 'economic inactibity oficer', Blimey, that's a title going to scare the beejeesus out of people isn't it? what's wrong with employment access worker? Completely different spin on same job, far more approachable. Seems small but it's nopt, though you'll have to trust my work experience on that one.

Oh lifeinlimbo that made me rofl- thanks

When people suggest that lone parents work and noone would say that to SAHP's with working partners....well life is tough sometimes. I'd like to be a millionaire tomorrow but I can't, can't get my car fixed blah blah blah....them's the breaks. And single parents still have children with another parent and so the decision can be made based on that. People can't keep expecting the government to sort out every situation.