to not want charity shop toys/books for ds?

[LittleBugsMum]

It's my MIL and I have told her that I don't like it but she still does it.

He puts everything in his mouth and I'm just not comfortable with it. I expect I won't have as much of a problem when he's a little older...

She says 'I know you don't like it but I have disinfected it' with a little laugh and there's nothing I can say that isn't confrontational. To be blunt isn't an option - my PIL are very, very touchy people.

Because they're not confrontational (like me) DH is reluctant to get involved, even though he agrees with me.

Any advice?

Oh, don't be silly. Of course I don't like being undermined. But I do like a reality check. And a child's grandparents have rights too.

whomovedmychocolate PMSL! but I do have to ask, I can understand the duck thing but what on earth did they do with calipers? how do calipers get mistaken for a toy?!

without wishing to sound patronising I think OP's done rather well from this thread. but as I said above, no reason for her to feel guilty, as her feelings were understandable really...

mind you I am lucky to have very reasonable parents who understand, for the most part, what rules DH and I are serious about and what are just general rules that can be broken IYSWIM. e.g. they know we don't give DD chocolate much (she's 3.1) but they also know if they do give her a bit we don't mind as they like spoiling her... but they know we will not budge at all on fizzy drinks ATM so they wouldn't give her any.

DD thought they were for picking up minibeasts and would not be dissuaded from buying them. I didn't know what they were but our gardener put me straight on what they were for when she was playing with them in the garden.

ah. well, um, at least she was using them for nature...

It's one thing for grandparents to say "I don't agree with you because..." but another to go ahead and do something different because they don't agree and deliberately undermine you which is what I was saying in my first post. I'm not sure if you agree with me or disagree with me, you seem to be agreeing in a disagreeing way

you sound rather stuck up tbh

You're being very unreasonable, ungrateful and rather precious.

They've been disinfected - if it makes you feel better, clean them again yourself. But it would be a real shame if your DS wasn't getting things from her.

some of DS favourite toys are either charity shop, 2nd hand shop or ebay bought.

I tend to buy plastic toys that you can give a good wipe to - the majority of DS's outside toys are from our local 2nd hand shop like the slide and rocker for example because a lot of these are very expensive bought new and they do seem to grow out of them very quickly.

Soft plush toys I wouldnt personally buy 2nd hand but DS will happily lick, dribble and gum toys at playgroup anyway so perhaps i shouldnt be so precious over these either!

YABU.

agree with chippin that regardless of whether YABU or not about charity shop stuff you've said thanks but no thanks so she should accept it.

If its any consolation my Ex MIL (who never actually was MIL!) constantly bought jars of food for ds each week with her shop. I thanked her and after a few weeks and a collection I explained mainly he ate our food liquidised/ mashed etc but the jars would be useful for emergencies/ taking out where no heating facilities. I said as she liked buying them I'd tell her when I needed more so she could chose more. Did this work - did it feck she brought me about 10 jars a week until he was 16 months and finally realised he'd bee eating 'proper' food for about 4months!!!

YABU do you think all that plastic crap from China has been sterilized?