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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be sick of pfb itis

68 replies

binjibaghi · 02/08/2010 14:50

may have to stop visting friend until this phase 'hopefully'passes.

My toddler is only allowed to play with certain toys at her house and is never allowed to take any toys outside ("these are indoor balls/toy") queue massive tantrum

also her pfb almost 1 is not allowed down on the ground outside !

i will admit to a certain amount of pfb itis myself but this seems to be taking it a bit far. I still remember my toddlers 1st birthday with all kids out in garden.

OP posts:
ComeWhineWithMe · 02/08/2010 14:56

I don't let my DC take some toys outside and I have 6! I don't think I have a problem I just don't want some toys getting bashed about in the garden and probably muddy or water damaged.

I do put the one year old on the ground but prefer her sitting on a blanket because she likes to put sticks in her mouth .

I can remember however hiding toys when some toddlers came round as they had a tendancy to break everything in sight.

worldgonemad72 · 02/08/2010 14:58

I think yabu tbh, i dont let my ds on the ground outside as he cant walk yet and would graze his knees, also we have indoor and outdoor toys aswel, take a ball or something with you next time so your toddler has got something to play with outside.

worldgonemad72 · 02/08/2010 14:59

btw we haven't got grass, its block paved, he does go on grass at our local park.

MathsMadMummy · 02/08/2010 14:59

I agree, take your own toys. just ignore the PFBisms, they'll pass.

FionaSH · 02/08/2010 15:11

In my opinion, and case, pfb-itis is often an indication of struggling emotionally and hormonally with having a child (anxiety) etc, but I am very fortunate in that my friends are very understanding.

sarah293 · 02/08/2010 15:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
binjibaghi · 02/08/2010 15:13

have tried that but of course different toys are always more attractive to play with.

maybe i was lucky and got a lot of toys 2nd hand so never worried about them getting a bit bashed - thought thats what toys were for ???

OP posts:
blowninonabreeze · 02/08/2010 15:16

I have indoor and outdoor toys and have no problem telling any child about it.

Nothing to do with precious first born here - just that I don't want toys that have been outside brought inside onto my floors and carpets.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 02/08/2010 15:18

We have plenty of toys which aren't allowed outside, I don't want certain things damaged, muddy, waterlogged etc.

Tbh you sound the PFB one, and as if you can't discipline your toddler. All children need to learn that there are different rules at different houses.

YABU.

lucky1979 · 02/08/2010 17:20

What kind of toys are they? If they're simple wipe clean stuff then that's one thing, but if they would gt ruined by mud/water/being thrown in the road then I think your friend has a point.

Alouiseg · 02/08/2010 17:22

Pfb is a terrible affliction. My ds' are 13 and 12 now but my dog is the subject of my own pfb syndrome.

megonthemoon · 02/08/2010 17:25

Completely depends on the toys. Also re pfbitis, my Ds didn't walk until 16 months so spent 6 months crawling around in the mud and filth at our local park so I don't understand the not letting them on the floor thing but I was completely Pfb about other things like what lotions and potions could touch his precious skin at bathtime! Pfbitis is by its nature inconsistent and manifests itself in many ways. I bet your friend rolls her eyes at some of your pfb-ness that you don't even know you're doing!

LadyintheRadiator · 02/08/2010 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

waitingforbedtime · 02/08/2010 17:40

Agree with Alibaba.

I dont allow indoor toys to be taken outside, some of them cost a fair bit of money and I dont want them dropped on concrete / in a puddle etc.

Your worries should more be with dealing with your toddler tantrumming, Id be embarassed to be honest.

(disclaimer: Im not saying a tantrumming toddler is anything unusual but I would (and have been!!) embarassed myself)

activate · 02/08/2010 17:44

"i dont let my ds on the ground outside as he cant walk yet and would graze his knees"

what????

Seriously?

you're mad - barking mad

activate · 02/08/2010 17:46

I just told DP this and he roared too

OMG you learn more about people daily

usualsuspect · 02/08/2010 17:47

Do people really have in door and out door balls? are they colour coded?

isthatporridgeinyourhair · 02/08/2010 17:55

There are such things as "indoor" and "outdoor" toys?

Notes another parenting essential I am clearly missing.

usualsuspect · 02/08/2010 17:59

These rules seemed to have passed me by too

Loie159 · 02/08/2010 19:01

why dont you just take some toys with you that he can take in the garden and then you dont feel like she is being unreasonable, your dc doesnt have a fit and her toys are kept inside!

loopyloops · 02/08/2010 19:15

I'm sorry but YABU. She wants to keep some toys nice for inside, and has others outside, what's wrong with that?

What is her garden like? My DD (13months, not walking but eating everything in sight) is allowed on our decking but not garden proper, because she eats everything and we have cats (poo ...). If we had grass she'd be allowed on that but the flowerbeds and stony paths are too much hassle for me.

I'm sorry but I think Alibaba has it- in that it sounds as if the problem is that you can't discipline your toddler.

usualsuspect · 02/08/2010 19:44

at all the wonderfully behaved toddlers that MN has .....

lecce · 02/08/2010 19:45

How old is your toddler? A few snooty comments on here about how you can't discipline your toddler, I feel this is unfair. I can't think off the top of my head of any toy that I wouldn't allow in the garden. I used to but ds1 had his own ideas and they are his toys. I don't think most things would get wrecked unless left out over-night. In your friend's position I would put stuff away I didn't want your child to take out once I knew a tantrum was likely.

How old do people think a child has to be to learn different rules in different houses? A lot older than toddler age, imo. Visiting a friend should be relaxing, not a test of your parenting.

As for not putting a baby on the ground, that is hilarious. I can't believe anyone does this. We frequently have ds2, 12 months, covered in mud and sometimes he haas got grazed etc as he loves crawling/walking/falling everywhere. I sometimes feel a bit embarrassed as we head for the car but tell myself no one would judge me for this - now I know they are! He is so active and happy I have no idea how I would keep him off the ground - we would have to avoid going out. I was a little more precious about ds1 but he certainly went on the ground during his first summer at about 5 monthsish.

YANBU

Original poster
binjibaghi · 02/08/2010 19:45

thanks re the i cant discipline my toddler - making a bit of a leap there arent you !

i respect my friends wishes and do not allow my toddler to take toys out !

he has a hissy fit and i ignore him and he calms down but i think it would just be easier not to go round for a while as i feel sorry for him he is only just 2 and doesnt understand yet !

its mostly balls and sturdy plastic toys that would be easily wiped clean !!

OP posts:
Original poster
binjibaghi · 02/08/2010 19:49

cheers lecce yes wish she would put stuff away but then its even toys that she takes off her own child if they start chewing them etc...

OP posts:
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