To think that the choices that you make as a teenager determine the rest of your life?

[poshsinglemum]

And how happy you will be?

Yet many teenagers make foolish choices. As a teenager I did work hard at A-levels but I was clueless about what career I wanted. I have settled on being a teacher but in retropect I'd liek to have been a doctor, lawyer of hotshot journalist.
It was at the age of 16 when I got involved with my very abusive ex and that has set the scene for my future relationships. I have had a difficult time with men ever since.
I think I was abit of a rebel to be honest and didn't want to listen to my parents at all.

I drank a bit and tried weed which messed my head up.

My sister was a very straight-laced teen and knew exactly that she wanted to be a doctor and is now a highly succesful psychiatrist. My parents thought there was something wrong with her as she spent her teens reading Jane Austin novels on the couch whereas I was down the pub shagging boys. Fair play to her. She's the one who has got the best life now.

I just wish I had made better life choices back then and yet I am filled with nostalgia for my fun-filled teens.

Having said that- I hope dd turns out like my dsis and not like me. I would love her to ba and Austen reading teen.

I will basically tell her what I got up to and say ''well if you really want to end up like me then go for it and rebel but I'm sure you'd rather be like your amazing auntie!''

I definitely see the OP's point and agree totally, at least in academic terms, can't speak as someone who went off the rails

GCSEs, then A levels and ultimately a degree for some. As your A level choices usually require a certain grade or level of competence at GCSE, and you always need certain A levels and grades for a degree, these choices are really really important and I wish I'd thought ahead at the time. I never had a career plan and my whole life all anyone ever told me was how good I was at Maths. My mum has a maths degree and I wanted to go to Oxbridge and do the same (no idea why) so that was what I decided to do. Got the best GCSE grades in my year at school, went off to do A levels including Maths and Further Maths. Long story short, grades dropped from A*s and As at GCSE to Bs at A level (I had never really had to work before), Oxbridge didn't want me and I ended up studying a combined maths degree at another good uni. But too late I realised that it wasn't my passion (and neither was I that good at it to be honest) and ended up changing the course to a straight degree in my other discipline (Philosophy). I'm now 23 and have ended up in a good career purely because I have a degree, but I now realise it's not what I want to do and I wonder all the time how my life would have turned out instead if I'd taken different A levels - I could have done anything I wanted. I feel like I missed out on English, languages, art and sciences, all of which I liked at school. But having always been "the one who was good at maths" combined with having no career ideas whatsoever has led me somewhere that I am not passionate about.

So I do feel that everything so far has rested entirely on my teenage choices. I wish someone had told me then to pick things I loved. I would have had much more enthusiasm to forge a decent career out of whatever I chose if that had been the case.

Mrs Pickles, what was your specialism? It is possible to be a part time lawyer. I've been working pt for donkey's years in a high street practice doing family and wills.

It would be a shame to throw away all that training and experience.

stop ruminating about your regrets.this is all about you and your regrets - not the path your dd choses.ok so things didnt go how you expected?you have had a big ole drink from the poor me font,now plan yourself a way out of the hole you think you are in.stop wallowing and do something about things

I made some terrible choices in my teens: drank too much, drugs, underage sex ....which lead to me have a baby aged 17, dropped out of school, petty crime, rubbish relationships, single parent ....however i always knew that i wanted to be a police CP officer or a social worker. I think our resilience and determination impacts our life far more then a few silly teenage decisions.

reflection is good but not if it keeps you stuck.a life of what-ifs isnt a life fully lived. what do you want to do PSM?how can you take steps to achieve it.there is no magic wand,no goin back.only progressing forward and prioritising things you can do and change now

Yes, I made the most important decision of my life when i was a teenager - I got pregnant at 17 and decided to keep the baby.

Best thing I ever did. You would have thought I was a complete loser at 17 - had a baby, was single (her father buggered off), had no family, had no prospects. I was just a statistic.

Fast forward 14 years, I managed to work my way up workwise, got 2 degrees by studying in the evenings whilst working in a factory during the day, and have got a cracking career which I love. DD is 14 and fantastic. Thank GOD I had her, the best decision in my life.

I am now in the position career wise where the world is my oyster, i don't have to have a career break because I have had my family, and I am still only 32.

It was not the most ideal situation, but have made t

Careers and job satisfaction is massively over rated, i know people with amazing CV's who are not happy in any way with their lives. You can always gain more qualifications and the older you are the harder you'll work to achieve your goals IME but you have a definite window of opportunity for the babies.

Gosh no, OP!

I left school after an interrupted life and education (moving around a lot) with four low grade O levels, one A level (grade d and still couldn't pass maths in four attempts. I then worked as a secretary for about 10 years. I worked my way up and now, in my early forties, I'm a chief exec and am at uni doing a part-time masters degree (with no first degree).

I'm really convinced that life is what you make of it, and it's never too late to change your path!

Oh and forgot to say I am in a job and sector that I really love.

the past, the past, the past.... get a grip... if you don't like what you do, change it. 3 years ago, i had a job i didn't like, a mortgage so constant need of money, with patience i applied for better jobs, still not passionate about it i give you that but good money, had 1 ds, and as i can't stop working to go to school, i enroll in the open university, your a levels don't matter, you can do it in your own time, lots of help, financially too, and hopefully in 3 or 4 years i can start practicing my new career and keep studying for better qualification, i am still in my 30s, my life is far from over.
so is yours, op, maybe not a degree just yet, but what would you like to do?, your past is enriching experience, not a sentence to a life of boredom
re relationships, take your time, don't date the first loser that shows an interest, if a man is worth having and is going to treat you right, won't need to get in the sag in the third date, take your time, be picky, and trust your instincts, if it looks like an arse, it probably is an arse.
god, that was a lecture but i am right.

Im 23 i dont have a clue what i want to do, my brain is like a big jumble of thoughts and plans all just clambering ontop of each other saying 'pick me!'

My children are 5 and 3 so by the time they are old enough for me to really focus on something i am hoping i will have chosen something.

Although saying that i have lived a very unorthodox life so far and have already been very sucsessfull at one career choice (although i wasnt legaly supposed to be working becuase i was to young) so maybe this thread doesnt apply to me!

People who are very good at deferred gratification tend to do much better in life generally. Doesn't necessarily mean they are happier, but they are ususally more 'successful' and more affluent.

No. You can change when you get older.

How do you kno she has a better life than you? Do you know doctors have the highest rate of suicide,divorce and alcoholism of any profession?

Interesting thread.

I've been wishing recently that I'd got a career going before I had kids. My degree is useless to me and I can't afford to retrain as I can't afford the childcare plus the fees.

I know I can start all over again once the kids are old enough to be left on their own. But that's ten years away and it's hard to wait!

BlairWaldorfsHairband you have so much time left to study the things you really want to, and to change your career if you want to do that too. Why stop at just one degree? The OU is great for trying out different things, and it's academically rigorous too. Please don't feel you've missed out on English, languages, art etc, they're still out there waiting for you

Thank you Bousy Maybe in a couple of years when I finish the professional qualification I'm studying atm! Hopefully I might have some more ideas as to what I would really enjoy then. This is something that worries me a lot so it's been nice to see lots of opinions here.

Can I just ask those of you in the know regarding adult education.

How have you managed it? Ive got a degree in sociology and havent used it at all, but would like to study something else. Ive got no money. Am I likely to be able to get help with this?

Thanks. Sorry to hijack, simple answers and points in the right direction for me is all I need.

fartblossom, go to the open university website, www.open.ac.uk you can reserve a space in a course there or get the number to call your regional centre and speak to an advisor, request financial support, they send you home a form to fill in your circunstances and then decide how much they give you, you can charge any fees they don't pay for you to ousba, it is a student association, they pay your fees and you repay them in installments at a very low interest, 5-8 % i think, this way you are never in debt and it doesn't matter if you don't have the money in advance, you can also ask for money to buy a computer if you don't have one, or to pay for books, childcare or travel expenses if you need to, this money you don't need to give back. good luck!

Thanks will look into it.

There is a path dependency in life.

Back in my day, typically what you did in your O levels determined your A level choices which in turn limited the range of possible jobs or degree course you could potentially do. What you then did as a first job after school/uni often then determined what you did for the rest of your life.

Early choices in life do make a difference to what happens in later life and as life goes on it becomes harder to change to a new track.

I think yes you are right. I met DH when I was 16, moved in with him when I was 17. I gave up on my A Levels because I wanted to be with DH all the time. So I got a job as a waitress. Now I only have GCSEs and have been a SAHM for 10 years. Nowt wrong with that at all, but I wanted to go to university and be a journalist. Instead I fell into being a SAHM by default because I just had a series of shit jobs.

Now I would like to go back to work, but not only can't I get a job because I've been out of work for so long. I can't get on a bloody college course because there's no funding for adult education in my area any more.

Don't get me wrong I certainly don't regret getting with DH at such a young age or having my dds. I do regret leaving home so young and not furthering my education. As now it's left me unable to have a career.

I worked really hard at my a-levels and chose strong academic subjects but all that came to nothing because I did not heed my parents' advice about my abusive boyfriend.

I strongly believe that my relationship with him has messed up my ability to hold dowwn a decent relationship since and hence the reason why I am now a single mum. I am not saying it's entirely his fault a sI chose to be with him; and the string of no-hopers since then.

What gets me is that I've has so many priveledges and I'm a bright girl academically but I make such foolish people choices. I find I always fall foul of workplace politics and this is alos holding me back.

I did love my teenage years though in many ways and although I was a bit of a lost sould I did have some incredible experiences. My teens ended badly with me in hospital due to ex and my university career in tatters but I I maged to get a degree again and am a trained teachers.

My relationship choices are holding me back.

psm,you are being a bit maudlin and perhaps that holds you back.so in fact you have QTS.that is good,so what are you going to do.the bulk of your posts is focussed in past, and past mistakes.well it cannot be undone. perhaps you are wallowing too much. in fact,all isnt as bad as you portray.you have had a dd you love.you do have advantages

dont live a life full of regret stop supping at the poor me font