to think that DS (11) doesn't need to be taught about paedophiles?

[LadyCad]

He's had SRE lessons in his last term of Y6. He is now full of questions about paedophiles; why?, where?, how?, what would they do with me afterwards? and so on.

The teacher approached us in the playground last year when DS was in Y5 telling us that DS didn't know the meaning of the word paedophile and we might need to explain it since thay had now "done" it in school. He was 9 then. He said he was the only child in his class that hadn't heard of paedophiles.

We have taught "stranger danger" from a young age, but we've always said stuff like "people might want to steal you and you'd never see us again, or they might even want to hurt you". We've never felt it necessary to go into such detail.

Now he's clearly disturbed, and his younger sister (9) is hearing all the questions too.

Have we been naive?

Stranger danger does not cover 'Mummy's friend Uncle Joe trying to make you do things' does it?

I have taught stranger danger but more so knowing what is okay and what's not, even someone that is a grown up can be bad, your body is yours and not to be shared... and so on.

most abusers are relatives or people known to the abused. so stranger danger is useless.

sorry pixie ,what i meant was ,just stranger danger on its own is not enough. Yes they should be wary of strangers at all times. But uncles,brothers(in my case) and other relatives can causes harm. and it is so easy to miss the signs.

Stranfer danger isn't important, you know. Children are at practically no risk at all from strangers.

I beg to differ, Seeker, but perhaps not for reasons most people mean.

DS10yo got beat up at the skatepark the other day -- we talked to PCSOs about it who pointed out to DS that the lad who knocked him about (13) was probably just looking for a fight.

I came away realising that DS needs to learn to read other people, what they are about, which includes "strangers" acting strangely. The whole Stranger-Danger thing is part of that, to my mind, it's about learning to assess people you've barely just met and whether they are doing anything odd that could threaten you.

So I would never warn DC about "strangers", but I do talk about "strange" people doing "strange things".

"they should be wary of strangers at all times"

What a lovely society that will result in.

My daughter is nearly 7, i teach her stranger danger and also tell her that no one is to touch her private parts or do anything to her which makes her feel bad.

I have explained to her that there are bad people out there who do hurt children and she should always tell me or her Daddy if she is worried about anything or anyone no matter who they may be.

She understands this and is quite rational about it. The words used for such people is irrelevant "bad person" is enough.

Unfortunately in our society this is a reality very much brought home by the dissappearance of Madeleine.

But that's not 'stranger-danger" ragged - that's learning some street smarts. A completely different thing. You poor ds - I hope it hasn't put him off the skate park!