To quite enjoy it when a man says "while you;re done there" or similar?

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Obviously if he meant it or was doing it to make me uncomfortable, that would be very different, but when it's a joke, isn't that banter and therefore fun?

I quite often set the lines up for my colleagues to knock down - it's great seeing them so pleased with themselves for coming up with a joke I wrote for them! Makes office life far more fun too.

But, I am absolutely confident that I have their respect on a professional basis and I think the fact that I can deal with the banter adds to that respect TBH.

I was going to reply to that but Riven put it much more succintly than I could.

Excellently put Riven.

Dittany'd be proud

Bramshott, it shows a lack of thinking and and no appreciation of the impact of those sort of comments. I find it sad that woman feel they have to collude with this sexist behaviour in order to survive in the workplace.

I think sexual innuendo is high risk for any work situation, however well you know someone.

Personally I lack that Carry On sense of humour - don't want to get down and dirty with the double entendres.

Filthiest place I ever worked (language wise) was a factory production line. All everyone ever talked about was sex - who wanted to shag who, wouldn't mind giving him/her one. I was 20 and pretty broad minded but it shocked and revolted me.

I always assume people who crack endless knob 'n'tit jokes are not getting enough.

scurryfunge I can assure you I don't 'collude' with anything that I don't want to. I got where I am at work by sheer hard work, not making men feel better by laughing at their jokes

Some people acquiesce HappySlapper to survive at work....the OP has not thought about the implications of joining in.

It is for survival because there clearly isn't a supportive atmosphere to challenge that type of behaviour.

My point is that some will go along with it because it is easier than challenging it.

Which I agree with in principle, scurryfunge - however, each situation should be judged under its own merit, no? What I object to on this thread is the thought that by finding this kind of humour funny, and by reciprocating - you are automatically thought to be enabling sexual harrassment. It's ridiculous.

It is enabling sexual harassment though. I can't think of many circumstances where asking for a blow job is acceptable repartit in the workplace.

When you work in a mixed sex team, the fact that you are different sexes is irrelevant (or it should be). Me being a woman and someone else a man is no more important than me being tall and someone else short. Banter is good, it helps to build team-spirit and makes for a good atmosphere. But sexual banter brings the sex difference to the fore. And makes it a more obvious issue thn it should be.

DH says it = funny and occasionally pays off for him.

Friend says it = no longer a friend.

Work colleague says it = I contact a lawyer and file a sexual harassment suit.

You can almost imagine David Brent saying it to his female boss, whilst winking to camera.

And his female boss ripping him to shreds.

That's exactly my point HappySlapper , making sexual innuendos in the workplace makes you look like a slapper / sleazy.

I mentioned this thread to DH and he said the same thing Orm. "If David Brent would say it then you know it is wrong".

"You can almost imagine David Brent saying it to his female boss, whilst winking to camera."

That's why it's funny!!

Ok, Floopy21. That says far more about you than it does about me.

Well if they weren't saying it to the temp I would be cross they were saying it to me!Tell them you are offended and they aren't funny.

It can only be taken offensively (I feel) because its not like it actually works? Or even like the person saying it even expects it to. They just say it because thats how some men speak to women and thats not on in my book.

I told my friend I hated this phrase. He said its just a numbers game. Eventually a woman will blow him and then all those slaps will be worthwhile!

I wonder if those decent family men would like it if it were said to their daughters by some leering moron.

My DH works in the construction industry

If any of his colleagues are caught making sexual innuendoes/wolf-whistling/hassling a woman they are given a verbal warning.

One more and they are off the job...permanently.

My DH has said it to me jokingly on occasion (or something silmilar), usually when we are already in a sexual situation and no-one else is around. I can find it funny then. Occasionally I even give him what he wants ...if I feel like it.

YABU - see www.stopsexistremarks.org/.

"Work colleague says it = I contact a lawyer and file a sexual harassment suit."

"I can't think of many circumstances where asking for a blow job is acceptable repartit in the workplace."

Come on! It might be a bit inappropriate, but seriously?

He's not really asking for a blow job (FFS), he's making a joke. An outdated one, sure, but surely the world's gone mad when no one can make a joke with any innuendo in it for fear of someone feeling harassed if the person in question doesn't feel that way.

I think HappySlapper is right that it depends on the context and the individual case. Sexual harassment is about feeling... harassed! If she doesn't feel harassed and there's an understanding between the two people that they share a ribald sense of humour and no one is feeling pressured to join in or excluded or whatever then it's fine. It wouldn't work for me, but it does for some people.

But that's not really the issue here - the issue is it's not ok to do it in the workplace (ie this context) not because it affects this woman or doesn't, but because it's happening in a place where other people can't opt out, they can't just walk away from it - so it makes that sort of place unreasonably uncomfortable for other women who might (quite understandably and reasonably) object.

I wouldn't want it said to me or near me, but I wouldn't feel harassed - I'd just think it was off and annoying and I wouldn't enjoy having to hear it. I'd tell them to shut up. But the point is that I shouldn't have to in a workplace. People should be professional there and take more care.

I'd say save it for the pub after work where those who don't find it amusing don't have to listen. But don't do it in the workplace where everyone has to be a part of it.

I think you ahve nicely contradicted yourself there Bongo

I'm with the unreasonable brigade, as is DH.

I just asked him (is it acceptable to say "while you're down there" to a work colleague) and he looked puzzled and said "of course not!". In fact he said it'd be a report to HR and proceed to disciplinary in his professional opinion (he is a sales & marketing director, so used to managing men with occasional laddish behaviour).