To quite enjoy it when a man says "while you;re done there" or similar?

[create]

Obviously if he meant it or was doing it to make me uncomfortable, that would be very different, but when it's a joke, isn't that banter and therefore fun?

I quite often set the lines up for my colleagues to knock down - it's great seeing them so pleased with themselves for coming up with a joke I wrote for them! Makes office life far more fun too.

But, I am absolutely confident that I have their respect on a professional basis and I think the fact that I can deal with the banter adds to that respect TBH.

But why should they be protective of her? Respectful, yes. Protective, no.

As Orm said - banter is ok, but sexual banter is not.

How can you stop it? Stop setting up the situations where they can say these things. If they say them, say "I'm sorry, but I don't find that funny".

They were protective of her?
What does she need protecting from? [hmm}

Sorry x-post

Have you ever said that in real life little fish? What reaction did you get?

Protective because they're all old enough to be her father and good decent family men, who wouldn't see anyone hurt or distressed. They also acknowledge that ours can be a difficult environment and wanted to help her as much as possible.

Jesus, I couldn't stand working there. I'd have more grievances about equality and diversity and inappropriate comments than it was worth.

Yes, create, I have. I said it to my boss. He made several inappropriate suggestive comments/jokes to me. He apologised and didn't do it again to me, or anyone else as far as I know.

If you respect someone because of their professional skills, then there is no need to be protective of them. They are not her father.

The reason that it is a difficult environment may well be because women are still treated in a derogatory fashion.

you silly little woman

I've said that in real life.
"Don't call me Big Tits, I have a name."
Response? "Lighten up, where's your sense of humour? X, Y and Z (other female collegues) don't mind it, don't be such a prude."
I quit.

Have I time warped into Gene Hunt's era? I cannot believe that people think this kind of 'banter' is ok in 2010

My boss called me a "tuppence ha'penny whore" last thursday. How I laughed. Sometimes if I make a mistake, I'll roll my eyes and say " what am I like...?" because I like to set jokes up for my collegues. (The answer is "...A silly slag! Now make the tea" and I get a lovely slap on the arse as well.)

Shirley, I love you and would like to do your taxes for you.

Last time someone said 'while you're down there' he got a swift kick in the gonads.

clearly as they are "good decent family men who wouldn't see anyone hurt or distressed" they would happily make these commemts in front of their wives then? Or how about your partner if you have one?
They are idiots and you are allowing them to carry on by indulging their fucked up behaviour, and setting a precedent for other females to be spoken to like that.
I am no prude but if any colleague said that to me i would lose any respect i had professional or otherwise and would not want other women to be on the receiving end of crass comments.
You may find it amusing, some women may find it intimidating.

you are not for real create, are you???

I am a little flabbergasted by the vehemence and anger that people seem to feel about this!

create If this was a discussion in RL, I would feel pretty sorry for you, but you had to know you would get flamed by the MN feminists for saying something like that?

I personally am not bothered by such banter, sexual or not. However, I know women that work with me who really don't like it, and the guys don't joke around with them. Its a personal thing, and when you spend more time with work colleagues than you do with family and you consistently rely on them to watch your back and support you in a very specific physical way sometimes it becomes a coping mechanism.

create - i'm with you! lighten up - it's just a laugh!

Please please be a troll. Otherwise I truely dispair. On the one hand you have women working towards equality & respect in the workplace, on the other you have Create.

I too have worked in a male dominated enviornment for donkey's years, and in no way would I expect some of my male colleagues to start sexual innuendo.

Some girls who I have worked with in the past have thought the way to respect is to be as blokey as the men, and to start all the weHAYY sexual banter. Yes, the blokes joined in but she had ZERO respect, and they laughed at her behind her back.

If you want to be treated with respect and as an equal, you have got to behave in a way which encourages it.

Yes you can a laugh and a joke, but touching on something sexual like that - well, you risk making a complete fool of yourself.

What industry are you in OP? Construction?

If other people don't mind that outside of work that's up to them, but in the workplace it's unprofessional and unacceptable. If someone said those things to me in the street I'd be angry, I don't see why people are allowed to say the same things to me at work, and I'm expected to laugh??? When I've had things said to me, they weren't funny or light-hearted, they were insulting, degrading and upsetting. It's a form of bullying.
Does it make me a feminist because I don't want my collegues to slap my arse or make comments on the size of my breasts? I think to just makes me a person who wants a bit of respect, to get on with her job in peace.

Thank GOD things have changed.

I am only in my 30s but have worked in an environment (manufacturing) where when I wanted to go on teh shop floor people used to say 'brace yourself'. Wolf whistling etc, daft comments.

A colleague who went for an interview at Leyland DAF in the 90s said that the tour of the shop floor there was like running the gauntlet - the workers shouted out all sorts of stuff. The bloke conducting the tour didn't bat an eyelid.

Thank christ this kind of shit is not tolerated now. Well, not on the surface, it is more hidden (except in Create's place).

OP - by acting like this you are making it harder for subsequent women to be taken seriously where you work. Think on.

YABU for fucking up your subject heading that badly.

I dont mind a bit of banter (though prefer it's with someone of my age, quite attractive!)

but "while you're down there.." what..?

suck my cock?

fuck off and DIE!!!!

this is not "banter" IMO

I am also flabbergasted... nay, AMAZED at the overwhelming response on this thread

I work with 5 lovely men - our WHOLE WORKING DAY revolves around comments of this nature - it's like working on the set of a Carry On film - and I love it! And I give as good as I get, I assure you.

It's not pinching bums, or squeezing breasts, or threatening... it's fun. My male colleagues are very close friends too.

I just don't get it. Every office I've ever worked in is like this. It's part of the banter that makes your working day pass more quickly.

To me, this is all that's wrong with feminism. Chill. The. Fuck. Out.

This isn't feminism. It's basic self respect. Banter doesn't have to include misogynistic comments to be fun/funny. Thank fuck I don't work with you, you sound just like your nickname.