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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being wierd about DD having Barbie dolls

161 replies

happysunshinedays · 25/07/2010 20:45

She's 4 and going to big school in September. On the last day of Preschool she had a wobble that night and said the other children wouldn't play with her. She's got loads of good friends out of school and generally very social, lovely girl.

Then she told me that other (seemingly very popular girls) in her class love Barbie. Have also heard about High School Musical as being a Preschool trend.

I don't want her to be the odd-bod in the class obviously, but saw some Barbies for sale today and couldn't bring myself to buy them! All boobs and legs!

Trying to find the line between her natural desire to fit in and encouraging her to grow up too quickly.

Any words of wisdom??

OP posts:
belledechocolatefluffybunny · 26/07/2010 01:44

I have regular conversations with ds about how women are portrayed in the media and through toys

I'm not taking you at face value slur dear.

Kaloki · 26/07/2010 01:47

Totally irrelevant really, but my family have forever refused to let me forget that as a child I announced (loudly apparently) that I preferred Sindy to Barbie as Barbie "has a big bum"

Not entirely sure what I was thinking back then.

Slur · 26/07/2010 01:54

ooooo-kay then!

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 26/07/2010 01:56

But Sindy could bend!

huffythethreadslayer · 26/07/2010 04:55

I hate all dolls to the point of being a little phobic about them. DS's thrust 4 ft ugly doll into my coachbuilt pram as a baby and I still feel revulsion at dark haired dolls to this day.

But I am not my daughter, so when she wanted a doll, and the occasion of gift-giving arose, I bought her a doll. She grew out of them very quickly and that may have been because she was influenced by my likes and dislikes to some degree. Having said that, why does she still have tons of cuddly toys, when I'm really not fond of those either.

I sound like a barrel of laughs mum-wise don't I???

sunny2010 · 26/07/2010 06:39

My daughter was1 one when she got her first barbie and she carries it around and calls it mummy. I much prefered barbie to sindy when I was a kid as sindy used to have a big head and feet and she isnt as pretty as barbie.

LittleSilver · 26/07/2010 08:19

YANBU. Have 5yo DD too and not sure where the HSM comes from; surely that's aimed at 9-14 yos not babies?????? dd def not aware of it, but not allowed to watch TV so admittedly sheltered.

I wouldn't do the Barbie thing either.

MathsMadMummy · 26/07/2010 08:20

ho hum just realised I forgot to mention above that the laptop is a Barbie one (kind of irrelevant otherwise, no?)

I sigh inwardly every time I hear "hi, it's Barbie, are you ready for some fun learning games? please enter a game code..."

withorwithoutyou · 26/07/2010 08:27

I wasn't allowed barbie either and was obsessed with playing with my friend's barbies, even when I was 11 or 12

I can see the objection but I would let her have one personally.

MandyMcFly · 26/07/2010 09:29

I'm sorry but I cannot actually believe there are so many people who won't buy their child a doll because of feminist beliefs? I seriously doubt children will even notice the body shape, this is feminism gone mad being concerned about the 'body image' a 4 year old will get from a doll. I had plenty and was never bothered about my body, I didn't care! I just had fun playing with them and usually scoffing lots of christmas chocolate at the same time - I wasn't asking mum to pass the salad instead. And I am actually collecting vintage & limited edition barbies for my DD, she is too small for them yet but they will make nice collectors items. I have just bought her the Louboutin barbie, the limited edition one for £100 www.net-a-porter.com/product/98190 not for playing with, but for when she is older. And it has red hair, like her! They are so fun and girly, I love barbies.

slushy · 26/07/2010 09:45

I have to say I will have absolutely no problem with my dd having a barbie, I have a hourglass figure with 32h breasts and large hips and tiny waist, all the media portray is images of stick insect skinny women like Victoria Beckham.

I am a size 8 and do you know how hard it is for someone curvy like me to see all these ironing board women growing up, well barbie was sadly the only picture or model of a woman that allowed me to realise that I was not fat and a figure is perfectly acceptable.

I really don't see how it can influence small children when there are so many picture's of underweight women in the media, and Barbie is one of very few that I am grateful for because every time I was bullied for having breasts and tried dieting to get rid of them I had at least saw barbie had breasts to, so it must be desirable to some. Although of course these were my feelings as a teenager when barbie had gone in the attic as a child she was just a pretty woman to dress up and go shopping or play at being mummy the same as I would with a baby doll, I never thought any more into it that that.

pingviner · 26/07/2010 10:01

I think we should design a mumsnet doll

Not sure about the waist measurements but its got BF norks
comes with its own judgey-pants and mooncup
and cuts its own hair!

tounge firmly in cheek

but I always found baby dolls more disturbing

Colliecross · 26/07/2010 10:07

Do you like Bamboletta style dolls instead?
A cuddly little girl shape not a young lady?

MandyMcFly · 26/07/2010 10:29

I agree slushy at least Barbie has some curves! There would be an uproar if she had no curves, if she was stick thin straight up and down that would promote a bad body image too wouldnt it? Or how about Obese Barbie...no, can't have that, that is an unhealthy thing to encourage. She has a small waist, hips and boobs...what's wrong with that? What should she look like then?

slushy · 26/07/2010 10:33

I know mandymcfly my DP said he doesn't like action man with all his biceps and abs so he want's him to have a normal figure (when asked what this was he said either a beer belly or no muscle) because he is making my son think he is inadequate

YunoYurbubson · 26/07/2010 10:45

My 4yo is sitting behind me playing Barbies now. She mostly likes snapping their legs off. They are not all Barbie brand - just Barbie type dolls.

Funnily enough, about 10 minutes ago (before I had logged on and read this thread) she sighed and said "Mummy, my Barbies are silly - why do they all stand on tiptoes? Don't the Barbie makers know that standing on tiptoes all day will make your feet hurt? We should find a Barbie who doesn't stand on her toes all day."

By far her favourite Barbie is an Arab lady who is not particularly pneumatic and wears demure painted on vest and bloomers under her abaya and hijab.

foureleven · 26/07/2010 10:47

Moxie's dont seem quite as offensive...

foureleven · 26/07/2010 10:50

Oops, clicked too soon.

I am extremely keen for my daughter to grow up knowing she is equal to men and doesnt have to conform to a 'barbie' ideal in order to be accepted blah blah blah but I feel that if lead by example and do everything to make sure she grows up knowing this then a barbie isnt going to undo all the other work.

I wouldnt encourage it.. i.e. by buying her one if she hasnt asked for it. And I encourage her to play with other toys as well. But I think denying her one if she wants it could have an undesired effect by making a bigger deal than neccessary.

shockers · 26/07/2010 11:07

Slur... they modelled that one on me

I was the only one of my friends who didn't have Barbies. I was also the only one of my friends who didn't go to uni and I was the first to get pregnant.... maybe all those career Barbies gave my friends aspirations.

ChippingIn · 26/07/2010 12:01

shockers

porcamiseria · 26/07/2010 14:08

just get her a barbie then! christ the things we worry about these days

what do you think is likely to happen, she leaves school. aged 16 for a career with spearmint rhino??

Strix · 26/07/2010 14:22

I haven't read the thread, just the OP. My DD is 7 now and I hate Barbie - second only to my hatred for Bratz.

When DD went to school she dicovered all the girly things I have spent 3 years hiding from her. We found some common ground on other girly things: my first pony, polly pockets, crafty plastic jewelry kits, etc.

Polly Pockets, in fact, I really like. It develops good spacial awareness, which is something that is quite often found in boys' toys and very rarely in girls.

MandyMcFly · 26/07/2010 20:03

I just don't see how a doll will do any harm, it is mean to pass insecurities and adult beliefs onto a child. People say they don't want her to have the doll because it promotes bad body image, stops them being children for as long. No, not giving them dolls is the thing stopping them from playing like children. I doubt any little girl would be thinking about body image when presented with a shiny pretty barbie.

Strix · 26/07/2010 21:44

It is not just a toy. Children model their world after things like their favourite doll. And there are plenty of other dolls to be had. We have loads of dolls... but no Barbies.

heathermumof3 · 26/07/2010 22:04

I think barbies are harmless all my friends and me had barbies and used to love swapping clothes and doing there hair and also fighting over Ken.

Kids playing with dolls are just kids being kids there is to much PC crap going on I think