to cut my DDs hair - WWYD?

[undercovamutha]

DD (4) has quite long hair, which is absolutely gorgeous [biased mother emoticon]!. Whenever it isn't tied back, she always gets compliments about how lovely it is, and how lucky she is etc etc.

However, cos it is so wavy/curly, it is a nightmare to brush and wash. DH normally handles bathtime/hairwashing, but I brush DDs hair in the morning. We are both utterly traumatised at the moment about DDs behaviour when we brush it.

It has always been a trial. We have tried a million things to make it easier (detangling spray, different brushes, different shampoos, talking to DD, cuddling her whilst the other one brushes it etc etc). Recently it has got so hard to brush it - she screams, writhes, rolls on the floor, and has even made herself sick! And this is with us trying to be as gentle as possible!

DH is adamant that she needs to have her hair cut short, and that he is not putting up with it anymore. I kind of agree with him in one way - but her hair is just so beautiful!

Also my mum did the same to me when I was younger (although I have quite ordinary/boring hair), and I was often mistaken for a boy, so I have my own ishoos about the situation !

Would I be being unreasonable to agree with DH and get her hair cut short? WWYD?

Short hair doesn't HAVE to be boyish.

Take DD to a hairdresser you trust - get recommendations from friends if you don't know one yourself, or even go round a few and see which one's ideas you like the best for DD's hair. What about a shoulder or chin length bob?!

Cut the hair and save yourselves a lot of stress.

Unless you all just long for hair related approval from others ...

Really though - when she is older she will probably want to grow it again but will be able to take care of her hair herself by then.

It sounds like a full on tantrum.

Have you tried telling her what will happen if it carries on?

What about giving it a trim, and then putting it in two plaits at night to keep it from tangling.

Curly hair does need more maintenance, but it (GENERALLY) does not look its best short.

Get it cut into a cute bob and let her grow it long again when she's old enough to look after it herself.

why are you brushing it? do you have curly hair? you shouldn't really brush curly hair.

Give her a jawlength bob - will be so much easier to look after and she won't look like a boy at all. And keep the hair you cut off - I have a 50cm plait of my hair and my mum has one of hers - I used to love looking at hers and my DS really likes looking at mine

I'd have it cut too- it needn't be in a boy style just because it's shorter.

I couldn't put up with the tantrums every day.

SrStanislaus - I admit that I am proud of her hair. It is SO lovely. I would have loved hair like that. But she loves it too, and would be really gutted if it was cut.

Narky - we have been guilty of issuing empty threats (bad parenting 101 I know!) about having her hair cut. Now DH thinks its time we should act on them.

BTW I'm not some kind of pushy parent who wants her kid to be a model or anything - far from it - but I just love her hair!!!

Get a tangle teaser.

Get her to brush it.

Plait it at bed time so it doesn't need such a big brush each morning.

dd's is shoulder length. we wash it once a week. wide tooth comb when wet. detangling spray each morning to dampen, brings the curls back to life. a toddle version of 'the curly girl method'

Ask her what she wants and then if she wants it cut get a bob or a shoulder length cu.t I have similar hair to your dd and it is down to my bum it takes 30 minutes to brush and is very painful.

If you didn't want to cut it off my hair is a lot easier to brush if it is kept constantly plaited only leaving it down for special occasions then it only takes 10 minutes and after I have had a trim and all the split ends removed it is much easier just wanted to give another solution.

Its not really curly as such. Its long, wavy, and very thick. Its not curly enough to get away with not brushing.

I do try and plait it as much as I can, but there's not getting away from the hairwashing issue (we only do it once a week).

She has a small fringe. Not sure this (and the waviness) would look great in a bob.

You need a tangle teezer, and just brush it in the bath when the hair is covered in conditioner. Plaiting hair before bed is a good idea too. But don't brush curly hair when dry.

My dd is 5 and had waist lenght hair til Friday when I took her to a hairdresser because she insisted she wanted it cut. I didn't let her get it cut as short as she wanted though, just in case she didn't like it. It's now a shoulder length bob and she is delighted. I was sad to see it coming off but it does look tidier and still very girly.

How long is it? I'd repeat that it has to be cut if she fusses so much, then take her to the hairdressers within a couple of days and have it cut to just touching her shoulders. After that she'll know you're serious.

You might still have to take her back for a jaw length bob a few weeks later, but at least you'll know you tried.

It does sound like she's worked herself up into a state about hair brushing rather than it actually hurting.

Have you tried the Frizz Ease range?

How long is it? the longer mine gets the less curly it gets so maybe growing it would actually make it easier or having it layered and thinned would make it much much easier and still keep the length.

Her hair is probably about half way between shoulder and waist.

Will definitely try the tangle teezer first. Will also be stricter about having her hair loose. Currently she has it tied back in the week, but is allowed it untied/loose on the weekend if she wants. Think I may have to restrict that to parties etc.

My Grandparents made my mother keep her hair incredibly long as a child. She chopped it all off as a teen and has never had it longer than two inches since. She made sure her DDs had very short hair as children until we rebelled and grew it in our teens ...

DD's hair is like this but longer

Would you keep a 4yo boy's hair long even if it was causing him this much distress, just because it looked pretty?

DON'T BRUSH CURLY HAIR WHEN DRY!

seriously, when DH washes it, comb it through with the conditioner on it (wide tooth comb), dry (not rough, towel drying that puts knots in it!) and then plat. in the mornings, undo plats and separate out with your fingers. Unless it get's really matted, don't put a brush near it.

remembering the horror and pain of my mother brushing my v v v curly hair as a child - your DD probably expects it to hurt - as brushing curly hair pulls and hurts!

I'd do some research into curly girl stuff - it really helped me with my childrens hair, and keep it long, but trimmed. It won't be significantly more manageable for being that much shorter.

Curly hair on little girls is beautiful but it does look better longer and will go wild if you cut it off. Loosely plait it at night as has been mentioned before. (I have curly hair and used to fight my mother tooth and nail when she would try and detangle me!)