To think my friends' baby names are cruel...

[MummikinsOopNorth]

...and setting her child up for a life of misery?

My friend who is pregnant for the 1st time has been discussing names for her baby. Some of them are fine, except the ones she really loves and are at the top of her list she's compiled. I don't want her child to be the subject of name-calling. Am I being a bit over-the-top and should I just let her go ahead, because after all, it's her baby, her choice.

The ones in question are;

Destiny
Starr
Oskah (fine for a boy with the spelling of Oscar, but for a girl?!?!?)
Diamond
D'amante

Ice
Echo
D'arnell

She also put lovely, traditional names on her list like Isaac, Thomas, Rebecca and Liddiya (horrible spelling she made up for Lydia!). How can I pursuade her to use something lovely?

Some names do have clear class associations. Certain names scream public school. How many Tarquins have you met at state schools?

Names like Thomas and Rebecca (from OP's friend's list) are pretty classless. I personally wouldn't choose a name that labelled my child one way or another, or a name that left them having to spend a lot of their time correcting people's spelling or pronunciation of it- my poor sister's childhood!

ZZZenAgain, you're right. That's why I spend rather too much of my time constantly asking people to challenge their prejudices, to think before they do anything. Instead of rolling over at this kind of behaviour, I try to fight it.

I personally would not want to work for someone who would judge me so off the cuff anyway. And changing my name, if mine was unusual, wouldn't work for me, because they would meet me in the interview and immediately see I'm not 'normal'. I go to interviews with my hair whatever colour and style it happens to be at the time [currently blue/green mohawk] and all my piercings in, and if they don't mention it I ask at the end if they have rules on appearance.

I am not comfortable with changing myself or being untrue to myself to suit someone else's prejudices. I'm just not. And I wouldn't be comfortable giving that message to my kids, either. Some of my preferred kid names are bog-standard, others are definitely 'out there' but what matters is that the child's parents like it and it suits the child.

I like unusual names, including mine.

Maybe I should have named my working class, state educated children Bunty and Taquin then, just to confuse the issue ...imagine the horror in the job interveiw ..when up popped a working class child from a council estate

that reminds me I was going to start a class thread...

'Maybe I should have named my working class, state educated children Bunty and Taquin then, just to confuse the issue ...imagine the horror in the job interveiw ..when up popped a working class child from a council estate'

They'll spot that you missed the r out of Tarquin and the UMC police will have him busted and barred

The names the OP's worried about aren't working class names they're ASBO names.

Agree with glitter.I hate the 'they wont get into university with names like that' type of comment.

Like its the parents who are in the wrong rather than the prejudice twat who refuses them a place based on their name.

OP you are being v.v.v.v. unreasonable.

Its none of your business. Stop projecting your prejudices onto your friends. Name your children yourself and leave others to name theirs.

I bloody hate name snobbery. I didnt realise how widespread it was until I joined MNs. To be fair its not just on this forum. On the 'other' forum they would say 'You cant call your child Harriet/Archibald/Primose/Noah/insert another MNs favourite - its cruel, people will laugh'

Do you see the ridiculousness of it? One person's horrible name is another's pretty name.

What about names that are misspelled, then?

What about the awful old
man/lady names that are so popular on here ...now thats cruel

I went to school with a Rainbow-Sky...she's now in her late 30s and goes by the name of Jane !

When i worked at one of teh UKs most prestigious iniversities, they were delighted to have bright students from socially deprived backgrounds.In fact I think being called 'Cheyenne' might have been a distinct advantage in the admissions process.

interesting Katie. My impressiono f the UK though whenever I am there is that people judge each other a huge amount on things like this, any kind of class marker in fact. Shame too lazy to start my thread today but I think this name issue is just one expression of something bigger

Echo might sound strange to us, but she was a well known character in Greek mythology.
Mercedes was actually a German name. In fact, i believe the car / company, was actually named after the daughter of the founder!

Mercedes - Spanish name but it was the name of the daughter Benz

my partner named our baby boy Breaghan, which i was never keen on so i refer to him as BJ but oddly enough i get laughed at more for calling him BJ due to the naughty connatations than by his proper name Breaghan, i also find that no one ever pronounces it correctly or can spell it
oddly enough my partner also named our little girl Eleanor and i love that.

Where has OP gone?

I suspect she is the "friend".

The problem with the "I'll give my child an edgy name because I want to confront prejudice" is that you aren't confronting prejudice: you're asking your child to do it for you. If you don't like being called Helen because it's boring and think that people who object to Starchild are bigots who should be confronted, you know where the deed poll forms are. Don't ask your child to fight your battles for you.

I dont think that everyone who gives their child an 'edgy' name is doing it because they think its 'edgy'.

They like the name. Same as Jonty's mother likes the name Jonty and Matilda's mother likes the name Matilda.

Someone who calls their child Chardonay is just as likley to be doing it because they think its pretty as doing it because they think it makes them sound like a WAG.

Similarely (is that a word?)

Not everyone who calls their child an obscure celtic name is doing it in a desperate attempt to appear interesting and ethnic (despite being from Chelmsford). They may well be doing it because they think the name is nice.

Unfortunately its Chardonnay's mum who will have the piss ripped out of her on MN

Well said, Tokyonambu.

"If you don't like being called Helen because it's boring and think that people who object to Starchild are bigots who should be confronted, you know where the deed poll forms are. Don't ask your child to fight your battles for you."

Well in that case we can't bloody win because your child might hate being one of three Sarah's. I have covered both unusual first name common second name so if she dislikes unusual I will have no problem with her using her middle name like loads of my friends who had common names choose to do so as not to have a common name and be one of 5 in their class with that name.

@ "asbo names"

It's not just Mumsnet you know.

Other Place

You don't get many modern day Adolfs or Myras do you?

Mercedes is a very common name in Spain. Of course in Spain it's not considered a car's name, rather the car has been named after a woman. (It's the plural for mercy)

A name common in Spain for boys is Jesus. In Spanish it really sounds lovely and has no heretic connotation. In Spain it's just another name like Joseph or any other biblical name.