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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Hubby forgot our anniversary :(

82 replies

Dolanette · 23/07/2010 14:37

Hubby forgot it was our anniversary (7yr).I had to (not so gently) remind him when he began talking about a lads night out! He then booked dinner at a lovely restaurant (v posh 5)but I was so cross told him to cancel. We've agreed now to go to another restaurant (not posh!).Would prefer to keep 5 for a very special occasion and not when i'm getting over this. :-( He can't understand why I was so angry over it!! AIBU to be angry over it? I think I'm not!!

OP posts:

MumNWLondon · 23/07/2010 15:48

He forgot, but you reminded him, so what.

Why get cross when he booked a meal at a nice restuarant, no wonder men think women are totally mad.

nagoo · 23/07/2010 15:50

If my DH was cleaning the oven I'd be VERY suspicious that he'd cooked a camembert and not shared it of his motivations!

PfftTheMagicDragon · 23/07/2010 15:52

What did you do for the anniversary?

maighdlin · 23/07/2010 16:18

id be furious if my dh forgot our anniversary. he probably thought that by taking you to the fancy restaurant was his get out of jail card. id rather go and get Chinese when he cared enough to remember than go to a fancy restaurant not because he wanted to make the anniversary nice but because he fucked up.

men are numpties about anniversaries and birthdays and think that spending money gets them out of caring.

ladydeedy · 23/07/2010 16:25

not ALL men....

GetOrfMoiLand · 23/07/2010 16:30

I like to celebrate the anniversary of when we met, but DP is a dolt and forgets borthdays etc, so I remind him none-too subtley a couple of weeks beforehand.

It's a bit give and take. DP likes to have a clean and tidy car, I use it as a general dumping ground and shoe store. That gets on his nerves so he asks me to tidy my stuff up.

He doesn't get arsy with me, and I don't get arsy with him about these things (usually).

OP he tried to fix his mistake and you had a fit of pique and told him to shove it, which is childish. Thin yourself lucky he is bothering at all.

TheFallenMadonna · 23/07/2010 16:37

I really don't understand the need to downgrade the restaurant you go to

GetOrfMoiLand · 23/07/2010 16:51

"We've agreed now to go to another restaurant (not posh!).Would prefer to keep 5* for a very special occasion and not when i'm getting over this"

Evidence that the OP is neurotic. Getting over this! It is a mild row, nowt to 'get over' imo.

mendipgirl · 23/07/2010 16:59

I think YABU I'm afraid, i understand why you were a little upset initially, but he seems to have really tried hard to make it up to you and you now seem a bit petty and neurotic! Some people can be a bit crap about these things, my husband says he still get confused if my bday is the 15th or 16th after 15 years. I always remind him about stuff, and even if he did forget I don't think this is a big indicator of whether he cares. Equally my brother is so useless he has forgotten everyone's birthday, including his Mum's but at the end of the day if someone apologises and says sorry you should accept it with good grace and go to the 5* restaurant.

I see how you might be upset initially but it's not that big a deal!! I feel a bit sorry for your DH.

lazarusb · 23/07/2010 17:13

Confession. I am female. I forgot our anniversary which is on Sunday. I have arranged for us (all 4 of us) to go out for a meal with my mum, step dad and a family friend. Dh reminded me about our anniversary and I went out to buy a card yesterday, then forgot to buy one, friend was nipping out to supermarket last night and she bought a card on my behalf and wouldn't take any money for it.
So shoot me. It doesn't mean that I'm a bad wife or that I don't adore dh. It just means I'm busy and I forgot.

Quality · 23/07/2010 17:23

YABU, and rather overly dramatic and martyrish.

he forgot, you reminded him, he booked fancy restaurant but you are too cross so to prove how upset you are you insist he takes you to a crapper restaurant? What are you, 12?

We both forgot our anniversary this year until we were reminded by family the day before, it happens, he got a cake I got some tesco roses and cava, no row, just an 'oops, funny story' moment.

PfftTheMagicDragon · 23/07/2010 19:41

come on! What did YOU get for him?

pjmama · 23/07/2010 19:44

You missed a trick there. You should have let him forget, then reminded him on the day, done a cat's bum face and shamed him into a fabulous guilt present AND the 5* restaurant.

If they're gonna forget, milk it for all it's worth!

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 23/07/2010 19:50

Cannot understand why you told him to cancel the nice restaurant - that is being daft. Poor bloke was trying to do the right thing.

If it bothers you that much, then book something yourself and put it in his diary 3 months ahead of time.

Squitten · 23/07/2010 19:58

Me and DH will usually have a conversation about a month before along the lines of me saying "Oh, look, it's our anniversary next month. What do you want to do?" We then plan something, make reservations and it's been flagged up for both of us. Same with birthdays, Xmas, etc. If nothing else, it's necessary for babysitting purposes!

Don't really get the whole thing of waiting until the day of to see if the other one has forgotten or not! Talk people!

ChilledChick2 · 24/07/2010 22:45

Are there not more important things in life to be concerned about that whether he forgot your anniversary. He realised he cocked up and tried to make it up but, you turned down the dinner at a 5* place.

If I was to do that I'd be called stroppy, childish and I'd agree with it too.

Aitch · 24/07/2010 22:50

you must be an absolute bloody nightmare to be married to.

runnybottom · 24/07/2010 23:00

Agree with coventgarden...this "he's a bloke, they don't so this, or do that..." its a lazy and insulting sweeping generalisation. Its also inaccurate. And sexist.

Get over it OP.

thefirstmrsDeVere · 24/07/2010 23:10

We always forget ours.

We got married on Carnival (notting hill) weekend. I thought we would never forget it because of that (we used to go every year, we went on our honeymoon - skint)

Unfortunately it was an early bank holiday that year so totally miscalculated that one!

Our DD was DX on our anniversary several years later so its a date a prefer to forget anyway.

Sorry but have to agree with runny - get over it. What was the point in cancelling the dinner date? Cut your nose off to spite your face really didnt you?

Why is it up to the male to sort it all out anyway? I never understood that.

PiratePrincess · 24/07/2010 23:14

For our 10 year anniversary I booked dinner at a v v posh restaurant.

DH said, "I'm so glad you booked this, if it was down to me we'd have had a curry at the Toby!"

Aitch · 24/07/2010 23:21

anyway, look, you called him hubby. grounds for divorce right there imo.

GothAnneGeddes · 24/07/2010 23:27

Add me to the YABU's. It all sounds a bit princess tippytoes.
If it was that important to you, you should have planned something well in advance.

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 24/07/2010 23:28

YANBU to be a little miffed.

YABU to be so angry that you couldn't stand the thought of going to the restaurant he'd booked.

mumof2children · 25/07/2010 12:04

why couldn't you arrange something, you both get married that day so you both decide what to do and talk about it...and not just leave it up to him.

Aitch · 25/07/2010 12:42

i am fascinated to find out how the meal went, anyone else?

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