to think this could be totally innocent.

[strumel]

I recently had to go on a work course with another femalei work with. We get on really well and have recently become quite close friends although we have worked together for 2 years.

We often have really 'deep' chats and we are quite 'connected' spiritually and by our thoughts and opinions which is all great. We are generally quite cuddly with each other and i am certainly quite a touchy feely person anyway, often hugging friends hello and goodbye etc.

So this work course involved an overnight stay. Room only had a double bed and we shared which we were both relaxed and fine about. During the night as we were falling asleep our hands touched and then she held my hand. I didn't move mine because i didn't want to offend her and also because i thought maybe she was just being cuddly and nice.

Am i being totally niave? I am single but she is in a relationship and has 4 young children although i know previously she has had a relationshipn with another women.

AIBU to think it could be innocent and mean nothing. Or have i completely got it wrong and have got myself into a pickle.

YANBU but you may be being a little naive

YANBU I have a lot of bi sexual and gay friends some are more cuddly than others but on the whole though they don't find me attractive it is just their personality.

I dont know whether you are being unreasonable or not but its a really nice story anyway! Sorry! And you sound really nice!!!

So do you think there is little chance it was just an expression of friendship? I was fine to hold hands but for me it wasn't me offering myself up for anything more iykwim.

Wonder if i should say something.

maybe if she was falling asleep she didnt realise and thought it was her dh as they may hold hands when going to sleep?

Thank you sloanypony, i do try to be nice! which is why i am worried i have perhaps misled my friend.

She wasn't asleep, neither was i. It wasn't an accident. Definitely not. Our sleep was fitful because the hotel was noisy and the hands were parted and rejoined on several occasions.

she was hoping you'd make the next move i think! or at least waiting for you to...

oh well in that case, i am reading into it that she is trying to see if you feel the same?

Any more courses booked up??!!

Mmm what is the 'next move' ilovetiffany???

And as for more courses there will be many more i'd imagine as we are doing the same course, that was just the first part.

Mmm now i am not sure what to do. I don't want to offend her at all. I love her to bits and don't want anything about how we are to change.

Redarsedbaboon- do you think if she was doing that to see if i felt the same and then i didn't move my hand away, i mean i wasn't squeeezing her hand or rubbing it or anything so obvious, our hands were just in each others iykwim, have i just said to her 'i feel the same'

Noew totally confused. If i have said i feel the same, i am now thinking what is it i feel?!

did you pick up on anything else?

Make sure you don't have to share a room on any future courses! And definitely NOT a double bed. Call the hotels yourself if necessary to make sure it's a twin room.

who booked the room?

i cannot get my head round the fact that you went on a WORK COURSE and had to share not just a room but a bed with a colleague

thats bizarre!!

oh yes, you have def said you feel the same and want more, but not releasing your hand.

Watch out!

agree, since when do collegues have to share a double bed? hmmmmm

she def wants some lady loving

so, who booked the room?

yes, who booked the room. I can seeyou may have had to share but a twin room would have been booked surely.

ilovetiffany- like what? god i am thinking maybe i am niave although i hadn't thought so!

We are close anyway. She has told me she has had relationships with women in the past, she has asked me if i like men, she hugs me and has told me before i smell nice. Things like these?? She is quite 'different' tho and if she were like my other friends i would think more of it but she is croation and she has said they are generally more kissy/touchy as a nation than british folk.

answer the question!!!

The manager who we worked with booked the room. Was the only room available and she knew we'd be fine with it as we have camped together at other work things and shared a small space. The sharing a bed wasn't a big deal to either of us really! God now i feel like i am strange because it doesn't seem like a big deal to me. We are friends.

yeah answer it or else we will have to presume you were up for a bit....

i have always,for some reason,attracted women!! so maybe i'm reading more into this because it happens to me.....i'm straight!

i think she was hoping you'd take it further,seems engineered,as others have said....a double room??

things you mention sound like she's up for more....telling you you smell nice,etc

this LOOKS like the friend booked the room, deliberately, then has made up some story oh dear, theres been a mistake, they only have a DOUBLE ROOM, BLAH BLAH

YOU OF COURSE GO ALONG WITH IT, SAY ITS FINE, DONT WANT TO MAKE A FUSS OR FIND ANOTHER HOTEL

SHE IS LURING YOU IN - WHICH IS FINE IF YOU WANT TO BE LURED

(oops caps lock, sorry!)

that she is the same sex is in some ways irreleavant - what if a MALE colleague tried something like that on - you dont mind sharing a double bed cos were such good friends.....??

the more I think about it the oddder it is. not that a same sex friend might make a pass at you if you went away together and were sharing a room,but the whole sharing a BED on a WORKS trip - very very odd!

Sorry porcamiseria- our manager booked the room.

I don't know my friend is very touchy feely and would probably hold my hand in bed .