to think this could be totally innocent.

[strumel]

I recently had to go on a work course with another femalei work with. We get on really well and have recently become quite close friends although we have worked together for 2 years.

We often have really 'deep' chats and we are quite 'connected' spiritually and by our thoughts and opinions which is all great. We are generally quite cuddly with each other and i am certainly quite a touchy feely person anyway, often hugging friends hello and goodbye etc.

So this work course involved an overnight stay. Room only had a double bed and we shared which we were both relaxed and fine about. During the night as we were falling asleep our hands touched and then she held my hand. I didn't move mine because i didn't want to offend her and also because i thought maybe she was just being cuddly and nice.

Am i being totally niave? I am single but she is in a relationship and has 4 young children although i know previously she has had a relationshipn with another women.

AIBU to think it could be innocent and mean nothing. Or have i completely got it wrong and have got myself into a pickle.

We work on a farm and we live rurally, it was barn accomodation we stayed in. Quite normal in this job i can assure you. Would be totally different if it was a male worker we wouldn't be expected to share!

the MANAGER booked it??

is this some odd costcutting thing? wait till DHs boss gets hold of that idea, hahahahaha

it is not at all the same as going camping/sharing a small tent with a friend IMO - having to share a bed with a colleague - no no no!! even if I was going away with a flatmate i would not expect to have to share a BED with them on a business trip!!!

anyway, she wants to munch your rug! stay friends but maybe avoid any swimming/sauna/bed sharing/massage type activities huh?

kinky!

Hilarious 'porcamiseria', she does massage and alternative types of healing etc as a side line and she often massages me. Fully clothed! Not sure 'rug munching' is part of her repitoire(sp?)!!

I think your manager thinks that the two of you are an item.

Perpetually- we work on a farm, for stuff like this the manager always books as she would know the folk we stay with etc Was at a place that does riding holidays and was busy as it is high season so there was only the double bed option.

Manager doesn't think we are an item, my friend is in a heterosexual relationship and has a bunch of kids! We are friends. Last year the manager had to share a double with one of ther other girls we work with. Doesn't bother us. We are working hard all day, hard physical work and often a bed is a luxury, we often camp if it is summer!

its a like Brokeback Mountain, but for farm women! yee ha

manager is probably getting off on this. Did she have a room next door and look through the keyhole at you all night?!

Porcamiseria- farm women kind of makes me think of big butch dowdy women, not always true! We work with horses so its mostly females in this line.

If it develops into a brokeback mountain senario i will let you know

Redarsedbaboon, no it was just the two of us, romantic huh? But as for watching and getting off on it, you must find it easier to become aroused than me if two girls holding hands works for you!!

well, clearly she was hoping for more eh?!

I'd not think much of it, other than to say "Oi, stop trying to hold my hand when I'm going to sleep!" and make light of it.
Unless you are interested in more, which I'm presuming you're not at all.

The overt homophobia in this thread has boiled my piss, however.

I shared a bed with my mate once, and when I woke up I was not only spooning her, but I had flung one of my legs right over her hips.

Her face was like this

i'm not sure she was. Surely if by not moving my hand away i was saying i feel the same, whats to stop her making the next move? This is why i think she genuinely might just have been giving me a friendly compassionate hand hold!! That was all that happened, there was nothing else, no follow up. Not like with a man when they'd hold your hand and then next thing you know you have something poking you in the back and a finger up your arse!!

It's not a big deal though is it?

If she asks you out or anything, you just say "no thanks, I'm straight"

I don't find the replies particulary homophobic and i certainley am not homophobic myself, far from it.

I love my friend but she is not single. I'm not in a hurry to get into a big ugly situation where people get hurt.

And although we were not spooning each other we did have our legs crossed over each others. Just in a getting comfy way tho.

lol she isnt your twin sister is she? you didnt bunk down with the sheep?

sorry OP, it just reminds me of another farm related thread we had before

i wouldn't think too much of it. it's possible to be close and cuddly, particularly when you are in the passion-like throes of an intensifying friendship. It doesn't mean anything more is going to happen, or that you must somehow be on guard.

Gay40

WTF overt homophobia ?? dont be so bloody oversensitive. A few of us have joked that her mate fancies her, she maybe well does!

How is that offensive to gays? Where has anyone disparaged homosexuality please?

put some vinger on that chip eh!

lol at the vinegar!! not heard that before

I don't necessarily think it's a 'sign' of anything. I have over the years had friendships where this wouldn't have been weird and would in no way have led to anything else. I would not be remotely worried TBH.

D

Deliaskis- that is a nice reply. Thanks you.

I always find this kind of 'we were just out for lunch/really good friends/found ourselves sharing a bed' stuff a bit disingenuous really, I never find myself lying in a bed with a work colleague/friend holding hands and entwining legs, and so can only imagine that if you do, you kind of don't mind. Which is fine.

onetoomany- i don't often find it either but neither do i have many friends whom i am as close to as this one. I suppose sadly i have ideas about how 'intimate' a friendship can be and have somehow put lines up that shouldn't be crossed. bizarre really.

Whilst many of my friends in marriages tell me they have sex to 'keep there husbands happy' when they don't feel like it and feel this is ok and seems to be widely accepted, here i am worrying over holding the hand of a friend i love and cherish and i enjoyed being 'intimate' with thats what you'd call it.