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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to make PIL' pay for our holiday we are going to miss?

24 replies

XboxWidow30 · 20/07/2010 09:26

As per a prevous thread. We asked them to have 2 of our our 4 children and they said yes so we booked a hotel for 2 nights at the end of August.

They text on Saturday to say they had booked a holiday and so can't have the children.

We are going to have to cancel but lose half of our money.

I think they should pay as it is their fault we can't go.

Is this reasonable? I don't want to lose £150.

OP posts:

FakePlasticTrees · 20/07/2010 09:28

YABU - but understandable. You can't make them pay, it would be nice if they offered (assuming you've told them you'll loose your money?)

Haven't seen your other thread, but is there noone else who could take the DCs or could you take them with you on your holiday?

DetectivePotato · 20/07/2010 09:28

It is very unfair of them to do this to you. But how much do you want to piss off your ILs? I can't see them refunding the money you are going to lose.

Suggest it to them by all means, but don't be surprised if they say no.

werewolf · 20/07/2010 09:31

At this stage, isn't there a real possibility that the hotel can re-let your booking?

MrsTittleMouse · 20/07/2010 09:31

If your ILs are selfish enough to do that to you, I doubt that they are sympathetic enough to refund your money.

That really sucks.

craftynclothy · 20/07/2010 09:32

I think it's terrible they've backed out after you've booked everything. If it were me, I'd be spitting feathers and would let them know. I really think your dh should deal with it but from seeing the other thread I guess he wouldn't and so you'll have to.

I would definitely tell them how much they've let you down and that you've now lost £150 because of it.

Doubt they'd pay it to you though, if they're the type to back out like that I can;t see them paying you £150.

Original poster

XboxWidow30 · 20/07/2010 09:33

I have tried other people but to no avail.

We have told the we will lose our money.

I am going to suggest it very loudly to them!

Would rather not take dc's on holiday with us. Its our anniversary weekend and a chance to have a bit of time to ourselves. Alot to ask when you have 4 children but all was arranged and agreed before we booked.

I wouldn't have booked a flash hotel in London to spend some time with dc's I would have just stayed at home, lol!!

OP posts:

5DollarShake · 20/07/2010 09:34

I don't think you are being unreasonable, but I have seen your other thread.

I think your ILs are being incredibly unreasonable by agreeing have your children, and then booking a holiday and letting you down by stealth.

Are they aware that by booking a holiday for themselves on the very weekend you had yours booked (as opposed to the other 51 weekends of the year), you will have a). cancel yours and b). be out of pocket?

If they're aware of both of these factors and don't feel at all apologetic and inclined towards reimbursing you, then they're utter arses.

Original poster

XboxWidow30 · 20/07/2010 09:35

Well dh has text, he won;t phone them. Just like his Mum text to say they couldn't do it. A phone call would have been nice.

I suppose I will have to deal with them properly!

OP posts:

Original poster

XboxWidow30 · 20/07/2010 09:36

5dollarshake, I agree with you on booking at another time, this was the only time they could get apparently!!

They do know what the consequences are however seem completely unfazed by it.

OP posts:

5DollarShake · 20/07/2010 09:41

See, they have no qualms about upsetting your plans and leaving you in the lurch, so I see no reason (except, perhaps, taking the mature approach and being the bigger person ) why you should have any qualms about spelling out them exactly what their flakiness has resulted in.

I would suggest they might like to reimburse you for being out of pocket, and then leave it at that. If they refuse, don't push it - it's not worth it in the long run, but I really don't see why they shouldn't at least be asked for the cash if they don't have the basic good grace to front up with it anyway.

werewolf · 20/07/2010 09:42

Have you asked the hotel whether they can re-let the booking?

Original poster

XboxWidow30 · 20/07/2010 09:43

I am going to ask, don't care what it causes! Dh isn't wanting to handle it I don't think!

OP posts:

Original poster

XboxWidow30 · 20/07/2010 09:44

Oh yes, it was via last minute and they can't transfer to another date and refund will only be 50%.

OP posts:

Follyfoot · 20/07/2010 09:46

I'd mention that you have had to pay out £150 because of the cancellation, but would stop short of asking them for the money.

Somebody doing the right thing is so much better if they do it because they feel they should, not because someone else asked them to. If you ask them and they refuse, you'll be really mad; if you ask them and they pay up, you'll probably feel terrible afterwards.

Just mention the cost then let it go.

werewolf · 20/07/2010 09:46

Could you ask your mum to have the other 2 as well, as you're desperate. And do something really nice later for your mum?

Original poster

XboxWidow30 · 20/07/2010 09:52

My mum is already one of the 'no's'!

She is always picking up the mess that his family make anyway.

She has the children lots anyway, not because we ask but because she wants to but never all 4 at once. We haven't left the baby with her before either so it wouldn't be nice for her.

OP posts:

swanandduck · 20/07/2010 12:14

I wouldn't ask them for the money back, but I would be very stingy with the next few birthday and Christmas presents I bought them.

GeekOfTheWeek · 20/07/2010 12:22

for you.

I posted on your other thread.

Your ils are being cruel. Fuckers.

I would get my money back by not buying xmas and birthday pressies. If questioned I would be explicit in my reasoning.

I hate it when shitty behaviour goes unchecked. It just gives a green light for further shitty behaviour imo.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 20/07/2010 12:28

Can you leave the older children with the other grandparent and take the baby with you? The baby should sleep most of the time.

ljgibbs · 20/07/2010 12:29

Another vote here for not buying them Xmas and birthday presents. If they ask why they haven't got any gifts remind them that they caused you to lose money. Fuckers

Original poster

XboxWidow30 · 20/07/2010 12:37

Good idea about the presents thing. One way of getting my money back!

I could see if my mum could have 2 of them and a friend has offered to have one and then take baby. We have restaurants booked and everything. Lets hope baby behaves. Good job we hadn't booked the theatre tickets yet!

OP posts:

FakePlasticTrees · 20/07/2010 12:48

If it's central london, the hotel will probably have baby sitters they could recommend, or I'm sure some London MNers could give you details of baby sitters who'd come to the hotel to watch your baby so you can enjoy dinner.

NannyBeth · 20/07/2010 13:06

Which weekend are you in London? I'm currently looking for a new nanny job in London and would be willing to watch the baby for you so you can spend some time together/go out for lunch etc (and am willing to be flexible on rates - any money is better than none and all that!).

Let me know if you want any help - nanny dot beth at hotmail dot com!

pluperfect · 20/07/2010 16:59

Why not send them a text saying you have booked your kids into the same hotel as them, so they can go on holiday AND help you out, as they promised.

(It is optional to send another once a little later telling them it was a joke, but a much funnier and less expensive one than they played on you!)

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