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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Present for siblings

53 replies

mrsruffallo · 17/07/2010 21:10

school mum has always given all four of her children presents on each one's birthday.

It is her oldest sons 8th birthday next week and now she asked me if I wouldn't mind getting all of the siblings a present too as they felt left out last year.

AIBU to feel annoyed. I am considering sending a snooty message and remembering I have something to do on that day after all

OP posts:
SrStanislaus · 17/07/2010 21:11

just

rubyslippers · 17/07/2010 21:11

WTF?!

Totally unreasonable and grasping imo

SandyBits · 17/07/2010 21:12

Yanbu. Bloody cheek! And what horrible expectations those children will grow up with

StewieGriffinsMom · 17/07/2010 21:12

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belledechocolatefluffybunny · 17/07/2010 21:12

Tell her that you wish for presents for your child's siblings, auntys, uncles, grandparents etc...

5inthebed · 17/07/2010 21:13

Bloody hell! I'd say "Hell no" to that one.

Talk about extreme parenting.

paisleyleaf · 17/07/2010 21:14

No way!

plonker · 17/07/2010 21:14

You are having a laugh!! Oh. My. God.

Cheeky bint!

Helokitty · 17/07/2010 21:14

Taking the P1$$.

I buy my DDs a small gift on the other child's birthday (their birthdays are very close together) but I would never expect anyone else to do that ever.

She is seriously taking the mick.

MumInBeds · 17/07/2010 21:15

That's just daft.

My parents give unbirthday presents to my DCs on the other one's birthday but we don't do it ourselves and I'd never expect it.

Tell her you're happy to pass across (as if from you) presents she's bought for them if she feels that strongly about it.

Original poster
mrsruffallo · 17/07/2010 21:21

Last year it was just cards she asked me to bring-I felt uncomfortable but did it- she wanted good luck and thank you cards for the siblings and to write something personal in them which I didn't do in the end anyway, I just signed them

OP posts:
Mommy2BubbanHun · 17/07/2010 21:25

I don't want to be a parent any more.

They are all mad, I tell you. MAD.

StewieGriffinsMom · 17/07/2010 21:26

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undercovamutha · 17/07/2010 21:28

YADNBU. The only time I would do something similar is for a new sibling, so they don't feel left out.

I hate this thing where every child has to be treated exactly the same. In life, you don't get a present just because someone else does. CHildren have to learn that. It drives me mad. Its like the way that you have to have a present for every layer of a pass the parcel these days. In case the children who don't get the last layer feel miserable. FFS!

My DD doesn;t get a present when it is DS's birthday (and vice versa). She gets included in everything (helping make the cake, writing a card, choosing a present to get for him etc) but she knows that you get the presents because its your birthday, not because its someone elses birthday. She gets excited when its a family members birthday, because she loves the giving of presents, not because she thinks SHE's getting a present.

funkychunkymunky · 17/07/2010 21:32

You're kidding right?

Original poster
mrsruffallo · 17/07/2010 21:36

She said it didn't have to be anything big, just a token

OP posts:
Hulababy · 17/07/2010 21:36

I would just not take additional presents.

Present for brthday child only.

Bizarre to buy siblings birthday gifts.

mumof2point5 · 17/07/2010 21:38

this has made me laugh out loud!
is this for real?
i'm with undercovermutha - my nearly 4 year old loves b/days as he loves "writing" the card and helping to pick a pressie, etc and i always do the pressies for siblings when there is a new baby, but a token pressie such as a comic or something small
so no! you are defo not being unreasonable!

lazylula · 17/07/2010 21:41

We buy a small present for ds' on the others birthday but I do not and would not expect anyone else to do it. I thought it was nice when some people bought for ds1 when ds2 was born (something I have always done when new siblings have been born to others). I wouldn't do it for others birthdays. I find it very odd that she would ask such a thing, I do not expect people to buy the birthday child a present, it is a bonus if they do!

hocuspontas · 17/07/2010 21:41

So basically none of her children ever get a special day to themselves? How weird. Don't get sucked in - it's abnormal!

StewieGriffinsMom · 17/07/2010 21:43

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thefirstmrsDeVere · 17/07/2010 21:55

Birthdays are for making the child feel special. Particularly if they have siblings. Its 'their' day.
Its about having the attention on them for a little while.

If the sibs get bought gifts it dilutes the whole thing.

I have always bought my kids bit and pieces as I see them. So one may get something one day and the others another day. They know they will not lose out and there are no favourites. Its just I saw something for DC2 in a charity shop but there wasnt anything suitable for DC3 IYSWIM.

DS2 has a wee bit of trouble with this but he has ASD and LD. He is beginning to get it though and is fine.

I have a friend who has to buy two of absolutly everything - even on birthdays because her DSs go mad.

To ask guests to bring presents for all the kids to a party

I wouldnt go TBH.

Original poster
mrsruffallo · 17/07/2010 22:01

I agree that it's about making the child feel special- and for teaching your child the pleasure of giving whether it to be to friend/sibling

OP posts:
melpomene · 17/07/2010 22:07

How about buying this book as a present for the siblings?

I would also be tempted to buy this for the mum; it has some good tips.

Seriously though, I would refuse to go along with it.

Oenopod · 17/07/2010 22:08

Another reason not to have kids

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