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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Half-Birthdays.... AIBU?

105 replies

JustaHalf · 17/07/2010 13:14

Got an invite last week for a birthday party.

DS was excited, and I was happy for him. Then saw the date, it's while we are away, so we couldn't go. DS cried.

Driving back I though, ah, poor child, how nice of him to invite DS, (DS is older) perhaps I'll just get a card and a little gift to say thanks for inviting us. DS will leave the school and start his new term in Big School in September.

So I looked at the invite... imagine my to see the party is... GET THIS..

For a child who will be 3 1/2 - yes THREE AND A HALF!!!

So am I correct in thinking that if we were able to attend, that the correct thing to do would be to take a gift? and a card?

Does anyone know where one can buy a Half Birthday card?... or is there a business opportunity there??....

Would we have to sing Happy Birthday?

How many candles does the little darling blow out? 3 and a stump?

Now I totally 'get' that winter birthdays are tougher for DC because you can't hire a bouncy castle and have a run about in the garden. (Unless Hypothermia is your bag)

DS birthday is the week before Christmas, we didn't have a Children's Party, just family. Have I deprived him? is he scarred for life?

Or should I book a hall sharpish????

FWIW, my opinion is that if you want to throw a summer party for your winter-born DC, all well and good, but not to dress it up as a birthday party, just a fun day for all invited.

Secretly tempted to RSVP saying Sorry that we can't make the party, let us know when he's actually 4....

So, AIBU?

btw, namechanged for this... have been here yonks, honest.... Got a few more days at the school, don't want to cause a ruck there before DS leaves if I'm outed....

OP posts:

TheBolter · 19/07/2010 14:08

How utterly ridiculous. YANBU.

rapide · 19/07/2010 14:50

Don't assume that a summer birthday is always sunshine, swimming pools, outdoor fun and BBQs.
Very often you end up huddling indoors sheltering form the wind and rain, trying to entertain a dozen or so small children so they don't wreck your house when you'd banked on them being out in the garden!

"it is crap to have a birthday in winter, you don't get any parties" Rubbish. Been to loads of excellent ones.

melikalikimaka · 19/07/2010 15:01

Summer birthday parties have a way better chance of being the best remembered instead of being cooped up in a smelly hall, or cramped house. Anyway we missed the point, dear, the OP meant it was a proper 3.5 years party!

pigletmania · 19/07/2010 16:11

I was a bit about half birthdays, but now I think that its a good idea espcially if the child was born in the cold winter months and wont have the chance of having a birthday party in the nice hot spring/summer months. I would certainly delay dd birthday party until April/May, she is born in March and is usually cold and wet, and though we have a largish house, it would be a nightmare having hoards of kids messing up the house and not being able enjoy going outside as its too cold. Would have a very small party for dd with dh, myself and grandma and the main party in late April.

pigletmania · 19/07/2010 16:14

Yes rapide, but more chance of nice weather in the summer months than in the winter, also its warmer, the winter can but absolutely bitter and cold. Dont find frost and snow in the sumemr

Fimbo · 19/07/2010 16:29

My ds has a December birthday and how I would love to celebrate his half birthday in June rather than the full one in December. We do parties for him in December usually around the time the winter vomitting bug takes grip and half his friends can't make it or are doing other trips like Santa steam train etc or pantomime and can't come. Dd's birthday is in June and quite often we have had little soirees for her at home, ds would love to have his friends round to play on the trampoline etc when it's his birthday.

pigletmania · 19/07/2010 17:26

Would not have a kids party on her birthday then another one in 6 months time that is a bit

clam · 19/07/2010 17:31

Don't think rapide was suggesting an outdoor party in winter, piglet!

TitsalinaBumSquash · 19/07/2010 17:35

My sister has just chasen a new Birthday, he actual Birthday is April but our Mum died on that day this year so we are allowing her to have an August Birthday instead. Other than for reasons in this catagory wouldnt celebrate anyones 'half' birthday.

Nux · 19/07/2010 18:32

Utterly ridiculous, YADNBU

melikalikimaka · 20/07/2010 15:30

Maybe an only child?

pommedeterre · 20/07/2010 15:45

Woah. That's seriously spoilt child in the making alert. Also a bit about these outdoor parties in the summer opinions. Your birthday is when your birthday is and parties are inside or out...

Bramshott · 20/07/2010 16:03

Oh I think it's quite nice.

Was this instead of a birthday party in which case it is IMHO perfectly acceptable - I know someone else with winter-born DDs who did this - threw a birthday party in the summer instead.

Can we also please, please get away from this idea that people throw parties to get presents, and that you are being somehow "diddled" if it's a joint party / half birthday party / shock horror not even their birthday at all!
(A) For a start, the people throwing the party will have spent much more on the party than all the presents combined!
(B) They probably don't want all that plastic tat anyway
(C) No-one is making you bring a present, and IMHO it's perfectly acceptable to bring something handmade or very small if you prefer
(D) Actually it's quite nice being invited to parties! As a adult I don't get invited to nearly enough of them, and if I do, I am always hugely grateful to the organisers for making the effort.

MadameCheese · 21/07/2010 14:09

Oh salina that is awful, so sorry

hogshead · 21/07/2010 14:29

this thread has made me laugh!

Years ago my sister (aged 6) decided that she too was going to have an official birthday and an unofficial birthdy like the Queen! How she came up with the idea i'll never know but for years as a family we had to celebrate her 2 birthdays (albeit tongue in cheek) Perhaps she started a trend!!!!

She's now stopped counting birthdays altogether now as she races towards 30

Mobby · 21/07/2010 14:34

I have a December/Christmas birthday.
When I was a child I had an additional summer party several times. But it was always called just that a 'summer party' or 'end of school year party' and the invite made it clear it was not a birthday and there were to be no presents, it was just for fun.

I think the idea of a half birthday celebration is ridiculous.

Psammead · 21/07/2010 14:39

DD was born in January. I fully plan to have a family day out on her half birthday for as long as she wants to. I mean, the zoo or a nice picnic or something. I wouldn't go as far as having a big party and expecting people to buy gifts though! I'd just have a house party in January for that.

YANBU.

mermaidspurse · 21/07/2010 14:42

Unbelievable, mind you I heard of a child who is bought a present whenever he goes to a birthday party so he doesn't feel left out.

My August born ds has a bbq on the beach. Every year it rains horizontally and blows a hurricane and is now a family tradition to bring wetsuits and umbrellas!

hogshead · 21/07/2010 14:49

sorry salina wasnt laughing at your post (just read back and i've put my big foot in it again)

just laughing at the idea of half birthdays -do you think the card companies are rubbing their hands with glee?

TitsalinaBumSquash · 21/07/2010 14:52

No worries

MiladyDeSummer · 21/07/2010 14:54

Shame this concept didn't reach my ex who, after we had been to a lovely barbecue birthday party started raging that his selfish parents (long story and unfair on them IMO) had never done such a thing for him.

He was born in late November, the feckwit.

yggdrasil · 21/07/2010 15:57

I think, on the whole

OTOH it is certainly a PFB thing. Without a shadow of a doubt. NSCs hardly have birthdays round here, let alone half ones.

OTOH, does it really matter?

Bexamundo · 20/01/2011 08:54

As Hogshead's sister I would like to clarify her above point!!!! Our grandparents came up with the "half birthday" and BOTH of us received a card and small gift from our grandparents on the other's birthday so we didn't left out. I am not trying to be the Queen!!! :p

onceamai · 20/01/2011 09:07

The family celebrates DS's birthday on Christmas eve and he has his presents on Boxing Day. On 25th June, or thereabouts, he has (or used to have when he was younger) his "summer party". We never billed it as a birthday party but from kindness some guests brought along a present. DS's actual birthday is Christmas Day. It has worked for us and we have never made a big thing about a 1/2 birthday - realistically, we could never fit in a party close to Christmas and once he started school started having a summer party and as he got older have done it as a combination summer party/end of exams party. Has worked and no-one has ever complained.

If it wasn't for all the party invitations he has received over the years which we felt needed to be honoured with a return event we probably wouldn't have done it. It has never stopped us doubling up with a friend whose birthday it was either and everyone has been very supportive.

PlanetLizard · 20/01/2011 09:10

YANBU.

What next, monthly "birthday" parties? Weekly? Daily?

Have a party by all means but I think it's a bit greedy to have extra "birthdays".

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