in not bothering to buy presents for teachers?

[luciemule]

That's it really.
Every year, you see all the mums bringing in beautiful gifts for the teachers and I just think WTF?

They are there to teach my children; that's their job.

My SIL is a primary teacher and you should see all the crap gifts she gets every summer/xmas. She even had 3 of the same teddy bears one year all telling her she's a great teacher. She gave loads of her chocs and gifts away.

I feel like a scrooge but I'm sure I'm not the only one am I? The kids haven't asked me to buy anything anyway.

I think the whole idea of gifts for the teachers is ridiculous, it puts parents under pressure to spend more money they dont have. My friend is a nursery teacher and her house is full off stupid teddys and mugs which she hates. At christmas she gets bombarded with chocolates, they get given away to family and friends at 1st opportuinity. And the whole low income saga i totally disagree with shes on 27k thats more than me with 13 weeks holiday.

They do just dandy believe me..... a card will do plenty.

Hmm...tricky one. YANBU to not want to buy a present- as others have said, we do get loads of the same stuff each year and I'm afraid a fair bit does get given away. However a card made by a child will always go in the 'keep' pile for me- especially last year when a pupil put a photo of me and him on the front!

I think it's more about the thought than the stuff. We work far more hours than we are paid (I probably earn £2 an hour or so) and most of us really care about each child we teach. When you know that you are appreciated it is nice. I keep a list of every gift given and write each child a thank you card.

However I would equally appreciate an 'ethical' gift (sponsor a well/goat etc) as the thought is there but it's not yet more stuff to make me fat!

Ds is not old enough for school yet, but I suspect when he does I'll regard presents like tipping a waiter- ordinary gift for ordinary service, special gift for exceptional service and no gift for crap service!

I bought teacher and TA soap and handcream from L'Occitane - am now worried that they think that they are rubbish that they have to get rid of!

YANBU. I'm sure teachers don't expect presents.

However it's the thought that counts and I'm sure they'd be pleased to receive something thoughtful (not necessarily expensive).

If someone takes it upon themselves to do a "whip-round" then IMO it's rude to suggest an amount.

I'm a teacher and at my last (v posh) school the parents used to try and outdo each other - Christmas for Boarding Staff was an orgy of wine, champagne and on a few occasions, holidays. Tbh, it was all a bit uncomfortable for us - and I never knew a single teacher who took up the offer of a holiday abroad! How could you without feeling incredibly awkward!? I'm talking stays in 'my 5 star hotel in Hong Kong' kind of holidays...yikes. I work at a much smaller independent school now as a Housemistress and some parents sent me flowers at the end of the year - it was very unexpected and sweet. The nicest presents though are always the cards from pupils just saying thank you - I've kept every one of those I've ever had.

I should add - while it could be uncomfortable at points, noone ever complained about receiving wine! And the holiday givers were obviously in the minority. It's funny really - a card/box of chocolates/saying thank you are all lovely and so appreciated - it's where people are really overly generous that it gets awkward. One of my friends was once given £100 of Boden vouchers. How do you say thank you for that? It's so much money - and so generous - but really quite embarassing to receive, especially face to face. Do you hug? Shake hands? Blush head to toe!?

This is going to sound pious, but the best present I ever got was a scrawled note on a piece of ripped A4 from a 14 year old lad thanking me for being a good teacher. It's still pinned up in my kitchen. Of course I eat the chocs and swig the wine, but the note is my favourite.

And for those of you who say we just do the job we're paid to do- this week alone I have spent at least an hour after school every day with kids. Some of them wanted coursework help, some of them wanted help for a story competition they're entering, some of them just wanted hot chocolate and a chat. Last weekend I spent on a residential trip, constantly head-counting, taking the jumper off my own back to lend to cold kids, staying up till they were all asleep and getting up at the crack of dawn to sort out breakfast. Were we paid? No, we weren't. I don't do all this because I want presents, I do it because I'm a sucker. Just what we're apid to do? Yeah, whatever.

And, when we arrived back from our residential, only two parents from twenty-nine sets said thanks.

I teach in an inner city London school, and the best present I ever received was a mug the girl had painted herself - I still display it prominently. Handmade cards or any really genuine note are brilliant - I keep them to look at on those difficult days and remind myself I do sometimes make a difference. A friend of mine bought a bottle of champagne for her son's year 6 teacher even though she thought he was rubbish - no one should do that IMO.

Hello all,

Pre-children I was a teacher....I never expected any gifts but I did love getting hand made cards or hand made gifts (made by the kids, not the parents obviously!). I still have some of those hand made items (some are 15 years old!) as they have great sentimental value.

I loved my job and took enormous pride in it. I worked 24/7 pretty much. Gifts were lovely, but definately not necessary. I encouraged my classes not to buy gifts....but I always loved getting cards. I think a hand made card says it all.

If Im being honest, I used to get so many boxes of chocs, candles and smellies, that I used to give them away or do 'swaps' in the staffroom! Everyone did it!

Bottles of wine are ALWAYS appreciated though!!

My sister teaches in a private school in the Carribbean and apparently rakes in hair cut gift vouchers, meals out, hand bags - maybe you should up your game!

I dont buy presents and never have. I dont think I am mean. Its just not something I have ever done.

I dont remember it happening much when my eldest two were at primary. By the time DS2 got to primary I was amazed at the parents fretting about what to get the teacher (even if they had spent the whole year slagging them off). It all seemed a bit more like a competition than really wanting to thank the teacher.

I always express my appriciation for what they have done.

Dont teachers get a bit fed up with piles of whatever chocolate is on special offer at Morrisons?

I work with children on a weekly basis for up to 6 months. When I finish my time with them I usually buy them a present. I wouldnt expect anything from the family. I would hate to think they were pressurised into getting me something.

It's nice to get something for the teacher who teaches your last year of school (though this means the other teachers never get anything). We encouraged ours to write and draw thank-you cards, and also to help bake a cake, which they got the penultimate day of school so they could either take it home (and bring the tin back the next day) or the staff could eat it at lunchtime.

But we always got the Year 6 teacher a present - partly because they had seen them through a SATS year, and prepared them for leaving for secondary school, usually a formative year at school. This year we've also got the headteacher something as our last child is leaving the primary school, so the end of an era, and this last child had the headteacher as a form teacher for two years at one point, and they are very good friends.

I wouldn't spend more than £10 per teacher though, at the very most.

We do a collection at the end of the year (ie now) in dd's class (Y1), and no one knows who has contributed or not contributed, as we hand them a plastic bag containing cash in envelope, plus cards for signing. We also make it clear that they are welcome to sign the cards regardless of contribution (or not), and that that is the most important bit. Then we just buy what we can for the amount we get

Some people like to do their own thing, teachers have helped them personally in extra ways, or whatever. Thats fine too. Some don't want to do either, thats fine too.

I don't think there's any pressure, thats the main thing - so anything given is heartfelt.

I've gone with the home made, if its more than a card it has required my DC to put a lot of effort in its amazing what you can make with left over junk - christmas tree decorations, book my marks pen pots etc. If my DC wants to give her teacher something then it has to cost her something(not just me!)- and just finnishing reception she does not get pocket money at the moment.

"Teaching is an extraordinarily demanding job"
So are lots of jobs. My husband puts in lots of unpaid hours trying to solve crimes (he's a detective) but does he ever get a thankyou present from the victims ? No. Because that is what he is paid to do, why should h be tipped as well ?
And any industry where you go in at £21,588 (excluding London & fringe) does not, in my book, quantify as "low paid".

Do what you like.

If you don't want to buy a gift or don't want to give a card - then don't. It is not compulsary, teachers do not expect it, they will not feel badly about you if you don't.

However, also don't judge those who do want to take in a card and/or gift. Maybe they just want to say thank you, and why should they not if that is what they want to do?

Hate the present giving thing. I think the real sincerity behind the gifts has been lost these days as more and more people try to come up with more ingenious or original gift ideas.

The teachers I know as friends (not teaching my kids) tell me they have a gift piss take table in the staff room for the naffest gift.

They all tell me they hate the endless teddies and keyrings.

I am sure some gifts are very much appreciated but its not for me. I express my thanks to any teachers verbally myself. Its not because I am tight or too skint but I just dont really believe in it.

I have enjoyed the pure entertainment factor of the whole present giving one upmanship amongst the present giving parents though. The most amusing gifts I have witnessed have involve photographs of the kids. You know - the photo cake, mugs and even T shirts!! Why the hell any teacher would want to wear a T shirt with a photo of one of their pupils on the front is absolutely beyond my understanding - did the mum really think this would be appreaciated by the poor receiving teacher???

I also do a hard job for a lot less than a teachers wage and a lot less holidays,nobody giving me anything for the holidays and lets face it teaching is their job and they are paid.

Skim read the thread. I am a teacher and certainly do not expect gifts. What means more is a card or letter - our head was sent an email this week about the impact that I had had on their child this year. It is currently on my cupboard wall as it so rarely happens that parents go to the trouble of doing this.

With my parent head on, DS2's amazing and inspirational teacher is getting a small present and a letter of thanks(copied) to the head about how wonderful she has been. DS1's teacher will be getting a sigh of relief and are lucky to escape without a showdown at parents' evening tbh

The thing I really treasure is a card from the whole class[yr11] and they all wrote lovely things in it.I retired 15 years ago and I love that card still.Oh....and a photo of my form signed by them all.They once clubbed together to buy me flowers and took a photo of me receiving them.
One year some of the boys came and did my garden[they knew dh was very ill]and they clubbed together for a rose tree when he died.I had some wonderful classes over 30 years teaching mainly in comps.
these are different classes by the way not all one

oh gosh - i am glad I jut skim read the thread....just read a few posts and was reminded as to why I have hidden all topics on MN bar two

Mum72 - I have worked in a number fof schools, both primary and econdary - and never experienced teachers slagging off gifts given. Quite the opposite infact.

Perhaps you have not had T shirt with a pic of one of your pupils on the front???
or
a framed photo of one of them?
or
a photo on a mug of one of them?

I always struggle with this.

This year one of the parents has put together a video thing of the children each saying something about what they have enjoyed.

We all get a copy as do all the teachers. I don't know if I will bother with a present for the teacher though as I never know what is appropriate, and feel a bit stupid.