in not bothering to buy presents for teachers?

[luciemule]

That's it really.
Every year, you see all the mums bringing in beautiful gifts for the teachers and I just think WTF?

They are there to teach my children; that's their job.

My SIL is a primary teacher and you should see all the crap gifts she gets every summer/xmas. She even had 3 of the same teddy bears one year all telling her she's a great teacher. She gave loads of her chocs and gifts away.

I feel like a scrooge but I'm sure I'm not the only one am I? The kids haven't asked me to buy anything anyway.

DD1 = tutor, and two other favourite teachers as she is leaving the school. Total 3

DS1 = one housemaster, one tutor, one matron, one teacher leaving to get married. Total 4

DD2 = tutor, three other teachers as she is leaving. Total 4

Grand total of 11 presents, all over a tenner each.

Drives me insane every year. But I don't have the balls to be the one person to not do it.

It also takes time to think of something other than "best teacher" pens etc. So this year they got iTune vouchers.

I buy Diptyque candles for their key workers as
they told me that they hate booze sweets bears etc

get the nanny a good pressie everytime i get a bonus

once a year for school or nursery seems a bit much to moan about imho so yeah yabu

Well I'm the one who said no I couldn't afford to contribute £5 to the class collection today, in the corridor full of other parents , but so glad I was brave enough to do it. I genuinely can't afford that, much as I like DS's teacher and want to thank her.

YANBU - thanking someone is a personal act, and the culture which makes us feel obligated to keep up with the yummies is not nice.

Hopefully your experience of teachers will be better next year and then you might understand why some people show their appreciation.

In my opinion, a waste of money.

I think it's lovely to show people our appreciation for things they've done well, regardless of whether they're being paid for it. If you've done a crap job, well...tough!

A gift doesn't have to be expensive or even bought - great ideas on these pages. I think a genuinely given gift says as much about the giver as it does about the recipient.

Why does showing one's appreciation necessarily mean giving a gift? I'm incredibly happy with ds teacher, particularly as we've had a tricky year, but I'm with chix, we can't afford it either, and will make a home made card, shows just as much our appreciation as a box of chocs or £5 in a pot imo.

Thanks for the tips. Myself (and ds) will be making a card I think and (if time permits) a cake for coffee time. I'd hate to think the teacher thought that WE thought she was rubbish because we didn't give her anything (she's been off sick a lot, and I wouldn't want to make her feel worse).

I think collections are awful. Hope it doesn't come to that in Reception! I know I'll go with the flow and resent it.

BTW, My Mum was a primary teacher and loved the chocs/ wine. Bath stuff and teddies/ ornaments/ candles went straight to charity.

Of course it doesnt mean you have to give a gift but OP is not happy with teacher and perhaps will not give card either which is fair enough. But others who are happy will give gift, make card or whatever else they choose, all to show appreciation.

The WTF disbelief that she expresses is just as misplaced as the disapproval held by some for those who give nothing.

Well I am a teacher and I really love being given a present and card at the end of the year. It really does make me feel appreciated. Of course it's my job to teach but it does take a lot out of one personally and it is very nice when parents and children recognise that we have tried really hard all year!

I do like the children's hand made cards best but they are rare!

My mum always used to buy the form teachers wine. Maybe she thought they needed it after putting up with me for a year.

Toms 2 nursery teachers I gave them both a mini orchid and thorntons chocs. They've been great as Tom wasn't fully using the toilet when he started (still wont poo) and his speech was delayed. They both thought he didn't like them because he hardly spoke. He also pinches/hits his baby sister, and they've all been great at nursery with strategies for dealing with that. He has another year at nursery, but is in a different group, so we'll see.

I didn't give anything at xmas as Erin was due xmas day and Tom was not in week before due to a cold!

This is a really interesting discussion, to which I really wanted to comment.
I am a teacher at a high school, at this stage of schooling we tend to not receive as many presents as Primary school teachers.
Having said that I do get the odd bottle of wine, or box of chocolates.

I always feel slightly embarassed to receive these gifts, as like someone commented before, it is our job (albeit a hard one).

I would like to encourage though the making of cards with a genuine message from the children. It is these which I keep, re-read when I need a boost, and which really make my job worthwhile.

This last week, I received a bottle of wine from one student (which is lovely) but the gift which I am most proud to receive, was a homemade card with a message from the girl saying I had really made her believe in herself.

So if I can encourage you to do anything, don't spend money but do let your child say thank you in a heartfelt way.

notnowbernard I assume you are a general nurse or paediatric? Mental health nurses get very little in the way of gifts I can assure you Though I did get a hug once from a patient(when I was leaving to go on maternity leave) and that was lovely
My ds (about to finish year 1)has two teachers (job share) and one TA and there has been a collection for them. We put in a tenner. No idea how much other people are putting in as there is no suggested amount. I don't like one of the teachers but the other two are lovely and imo deserve a token of appreciation. Telling them how appreciated they are would probably mean much more than a gift but I find that sometimes people would rather buy a gift to express their thanks than say it in words.

Riven- they would know LOL. Mind, ds3's is a bunch of stickers randomly attahced to a card; they don't mind. In fact i got a note about how much they had loved the eyar with him and what a dear child he is. It amde mecry (if anyone doesn't know, he ahs ASD and when we shifted him to SNU last eyar he had got to the stage of sitting at the back of the class crying and being ignored).

And wrt to vouvhers, I am reminded of a story about our MS school; the mums are renowned for ebing - erm- competitive PMSL, it's mainly air hostesses amrried to pilots and that sort of thing. teacher got married aa few eyars back and aprents in the class put what was suppoed to be a few quid in an envelope for Next Home vouchers

It came to about £350!!!

Talking as a teacher of a secondary school, we don't really get given many presents on an annual basis like primary. But sometimes, when a child leaves in year 11 or year 13 they may get you a card or a box of chocs. Or after some form of extra curricular activity like a school play. It is always appreciated when you receive any form of recognition whether it is a simple "thank you miss" or an actual card/gift. Like any job, it is nice when any hard work is recognised especially by the youngsters themselves rather than colleagues.

I am currently pregnant and one of year 12 students made me a home made congratulation card (she's an art student) and wrote some lovely things inside which really touched my heart and made me cry (could also be the hormones) and two year 11 pupils made me a 'nappy cake' full of little gifts for the little one when he/she eventually arrives. Bless them.

as a governor of a small rural school with a fairly affluent intake, i have seen teachers being proffered allsorts from potlants to soft furnishings!!.. Personally, my girls make a card and some some biscuits.. i cannot afford to buy for 3 class teachers and 3 TA's who play an equally important role.

£10 per person?? What the hell?

I got dd2 some chocolates and a card to give to her teacher because she will miss her and wanted to thank her but I don't do it every time, I must admit.

I am a teacher in reception, I job share and we have several TAs. We certainly don't expect parents to buy us all gifts! So far we have had a lovely box of homemade biscuits which was fantastic. I'd be a little uncomfortable with being given cash. That said, a homemade card, or a note is very much appreciated.

My six year old daughter wrote a card for her teacher yesterday which said 'To Mrs X, you are the best teacher in the whole wide world' (I didn't tell her what to write). I would have been incredibly touched if anyone had written that to me and felt that was fine (no gift included). I am always really pleased when I get a good comment from students evaluating my course, something like 'Onetoomanycornettos is a brilliant lecturer' keeps me going all year. I never get chocs, but thanks are always nice.

I volunteer at dd`s school, and i realised things i did not know before. I do appreciate the hardwork and efford teachers make at primary school. Im planning to give two keyworkers bottle of wine and box of chocolate.
If you dont want then, dont buy.

Last year I bought wine for every member of staff at ds1's pre-school. This year there are just too many of them (pre-school expanded) and some I barely know.

So I'm getting a gift for ds1's keyworker and a selection of books for the pre-school itself, rather than lots of personal gifts.

If you go around the charity shops a couple of weeks after the new school year starts, you will find the shelves littered with '\I love my teacher'/Best Teacher/ etc.
When giving a Thank You gift to a teacher, it isn't about how much they get paid, but how their job is appreciated by both child ad parent.
A little letter/card with the child's name signed is well appreciated. \I have a teacher friend [retired] who has large scrapbooks of thank you letters from children and parents.
She says they are among her most treasured possessions.

I will say I am extremely grateful for the flowers the teachers boughth me a volunteer resder

What I don't get is, the teahcers get loads, yes? So how come I was the only person made for the cub leaders when they don't get paid?

Back hjome nobody really bopught for anyone and I remember as a Rainbow Leader being a biit stunned to get some chocolates from a leaving girl (gratefull stunned) but when everyone does buy for X and Y, why not give to unpiad Z?