he's not even five yet...

[dexifehatz]

My four year old son came back from school yesterday very quiet( a bad sign!)and upset.It turns out some of the girls were calling him'f.....g gay' because he likes dancing and singing!!WTF! I told his teacher who said she would have a word with the kids involved as swearing would not be tolerated in his school.Not one mention of the homophobic comments. Is four too young to talk about tolerance? I don't mean a full on discussion about sexuality,but a simple discussion on different people.

If the girls were his age then I doubt they had any understanding of the meaning of the words but would know bad words. I think the teacher was right to focus on that. I have never heard a 4 year old talk like that

I'm not surprised you're very upset about this but depending on the age of the girls involved they might have no idea what 'gay' means, so it's not exactly homophobia. They're probably repeating what they've heard older children/siblings say. The teachers definitely need to help the children to avoid name calling of any sort.

I think the children were using the word 'gay' without having any concept of its meaning. They were probably just repeating what they have heard from older children. Agree that it is unacceptable to use the word as if it is an insult and the school should make it clear to them that it is not right for them to be saying it in that way. Not sure they can explain why the children shouldn't say it - some parents might feel that it is something they should be explaining themselves when the children are older. The school might be better just saying to the children that they were being rude.

oh no. if the children are to be challenged on swearing then they should be challenged on intolerance.

unless it'll be some wishy washy 'don't say bad words' stuff.

and fucking is about sex anyway so the 'keep them innocent' approach is irrelevant.

Your poor ds. My ds had the same at that age as he loved drama, ballet and singing classes. Don't let it get him down so much that he stops doing what he loves. My ds got so upset that stopped dancing etc for a couple of years. He took it up again just before his 7th birthday, he still gets called gay occasionally now, but he's really confident and it doesn't bother him, he says they are just jealous of him!

I am shocked at the things kids call each other.

Unfortunately, that's the 'in' word in schools, surprised to hear it used at that age.

Try and read the picture book with him called 'Oliver Button' by Tomi De Paola, I think. It's a lovely book about bullying and about a little boy who loves to sing and dance.

I think the message needs to be passed on as early as possible that while "f*cking" is a bad word, "gay" is not. It is deeply offensive to gay men and women to allow their sexuality to be used an an insult. It is, to my mind, equivalent to using a racial slur and needs to be stamped out as early as possible, for the right reasons.

Oh, I really feel for you.

I have two DSDs (teenagers) who regularly refer to my son as a gaylord and change my DD's name (she's Imogen) to Imogay.

It drives me up the F&*king wall (scuse the pun... I know that we are talking about swearing too)

Actually, though, GAY is one of the words that doesn't get to me as much as some of the others they use - try retard, spaz, lepper. It drives me mad.

I'm sure these kids have heard older ones saying it and are just repeating it.

Makes me want to take my kids and protect them from this rubbish until they are old enough to deal with it.