To not want DP to boast about going to a lapdancing club?

[flibbertigibbert]

A few months ago DP went to a lapdancing club. He'd never been before but has a friend who comes from a country which apparently doesn't have anything like that who wanted to visit one before he went back home. DP's friend is very rich and he (the friend) ended up spending £600 for the 4 of them.

DP claimed not to have enjoyed the experience - he said he thought it was a rip off and doesn't like the page 3 look and he wouldn't go to one again. I gave him a big lecture about how anti-feminist those places are but he'd already had a debate with one of the dancers about it.

The other day we were out with friends and the subject of expensive clubs came up when DP chipped in with 'when I went to xxxxx (insert name of very well known lapdancing club) we ran up a £600 bill.'

I was extremely angry with him. I felt it was hugely disrespectful to boast about going to a lapdancing club in front of me. The timing was pretty bad as I'd been to the doctor earlier that day about my weight and been told I should lose 3 stones, so I was feeling more insecure than usual.

He couldn't work out why I was so annoyed. Was I being unreasonable to be annoyed or was I just being oversensitive? He isn't usually like that, but he'd had a bit to drink (a very rare occurrance), which always makes him more brash.

YANBU imo.

WTF did they spend £600 on?

I think he was boasting about the amount spent, rather than having been to a lapdancing club. You should have just reminded him, in front of everyone, that it was his rich mate who paid the bill.

He wouldn't be able to say "Well we spent £600 in, er, er... Ritzy?". He had to mention the venue to make the amount spent seem likely.

£600 is small change to the rich friend .

It is one of the best known clubs in the world of its kind so would have been horrendously expensive. I think champagne was involved.

Does the name involve pachyderms with large horns and a flavour of toothpaste?

YA still NBU.

I would have pointed out that actually it was the friend that spent the money and dh was on a free ride. No pun intended.

Iklboo - it took me a while to work that one out. No, it's not that one.

Think old man in a leopard print thong...

As those places go, its actually one of the better ones, not owned by the mob, no seedy side activites.

More expensive dances than elsewhere and breathtakingly expensive drinks so I don't think they could have even been there for a particularly long time.

Just think of a patronizing put down if he blurts it out again.

£600 is entry level for one in my books. Unless you don't actually want to settle down, have a quick looksy, an overpiced drink and get out before you are persuaded into staying for a while and buying the girls some bubbly.

your other half is quite correct in it being a rip off though when actual physical encounters in reasonable safety and privacy can be had from £100

If I can keep the girls from hassling me for a dance every 2 minutes however, I do enjoy the atmosphere of a strip club and love ot go there with friends. My girlfriend also enjoys going to strip clubs with me and usually chooses the girls (her taste is impeccable) and her picking the girls out like she is shopping for handbags is a massive turn on.

from what I summised in your stroy your husband was bragging about the bill and possibly the fact that he has a cool wife (i.e. you) who is cool trusts him enough to go to places like that. It's when he never mentions the strip club and avoids the subject you need to start feeling insecure about it ;) . So I really really don't think you have anything to worry about in this instance and ould actually use it to your advantage. rather than get all inquisitive and paranoid (ugh, hate that attitude), enthusiastically suggest you go together for a drink and a dance. Months of flowers and gifts will follow, trust me. As well as increased activity in bed.

HTH

Smallwhitecat, thanks for the patronising "darling" luv!

I apologise for my naivety, I thought an honest opinion of a man trying to help the Author understand her husband's motivation would be welcome here.

I didn't realise there WERE days when men were ashamed of needing to pay for sexual gratification, hence the abundant supply of that service since the days where hitting a woman on the head and dragging her off to the cave was no longer acceptable.

Isdp I agree with you. It is the men who keep these sort of things quiet, pretend not to notice good looking girls who are the real players.

Ive been with dh on more than one occasion and it's a fun night out.

There is a lot of hysteria surrounding lap dancing on mn so beware.

ISDP - hope you've got a flame proof g-string to hand?

This is going to implode!

What's wrong with "players"??

Do you have another word for them that is more mn friendly.

ISDP -

"My girlfriend also enjoys going to strip clubs with me and usually chooses the girls (her taste is impeccable) and her picking the girls out like she is shopping for handbags is a massive turn on".

Ugh. That's depressing in more ways than I can say...

So, give me an alternative and stop being so cats bum mouth about it.

"twat"

OP
YANBU and I hope that it was just the drink talking, and that he will not do it again. I did at him discussing how anti-feminist lap dancing clubs are with one of the dancers.

Not sure what is most inducing about ISDP's post, that he enjoys going to lap dancing clubs, that he likes having his girlfriend choose the "girls" or that he is attempting to persuade the OP to go and have some fun as she will be amply rewarded.

It may come as a surprise to you, but there are men in this world who would be horrified if their partners suggested a night out in one of these bars.

Never mind any of that his writing style is attrocious.

He's gone to ask the stout yeoman of the bar for a pint of his finest ale.