To not want DP to boast about going to a lapdancing club?

[flibbertigibbert]

A few months ago DP went to a lapdancing club. He'd never been before but has a friend who comes from a country which apparently doesn't have anything like that who wanted to visit one before he went back home. DP's friend is very rich and he (the friend) ended up spending £600 for the 4 of them.

DP claimed not to have enjoyed the experience - he said he thought it was a rip off and doesn't like the page 3 look and he wouldn't go to one again. I gave him a big lecture about how anti-feminist those places are but he'd already had a debate with one of the dancers about it.

The other day we were out with friends and the subject of expensive clubs came up when DP chipped in with 'when I went to xxxxx (insert name of very well known lapdancing club) we ran up a £600 bill.'

I was extremely angry with him. I felt it was hugely disrespectful to boast about going to a lapdancing club in front of me. The timing was pretty bad as I'd been to the doctor earlier that day about my weight and been told I should lose 3 stones, so I was feeling more insecure than usual.

He couldn't work out why I was so annoyed. Was I being unreasonable to be annoyed or was I just being oversensitive? He isn't usually like that, but he'd had a bit to drink (a very rare occurrance), which always makes him more brash.

Well sorry smallwhitecat, I had a life to attend to outside of MN. But I have figured out what my, as you put it "problem" was meanwhile (cheer).

I think that my opinion, somehow threatened your world. You know, the secure, fluffy world in your head that you have painstakingly consturcted, where men don't like stripclubs, can't stand the sight of naked women and are practically grossed out at the thought of two or more women inviting them for a shag. Oh wait, such place does actually exist, it's called Chariots.

I must be honest, I wasn't quite expecting to ellicit such bigoted wrath from some of the contributors here. Just so that I can stop the frothing at the mouths, let me state that my opinion is not at all representative of a major chunk of male population on this planet and I am sorry to have intruded on your "there can only be one truth" party here.

The person calling me up on my writing style- Jesus wept.

Dittany: "Men should always be ashamed of sexually exploiting women."

Aw shit, let's take a moment to feel sorry for the poor, six figure a year tax free income, with no education girls and how hard it must be to pretend to be massively attracted to their clients while they are paying for the £300 per hour table...

Honestly, if there was a market for me dancing naked that paid half that amount, I'd be handing in my resignation right now.

Are you really so naive that you imagine that all lapdancers are earning that kind of money?

Perhaps those working in the top one or two clubs are earning a decent wage, but those on the bottom of the pay scale are certainly not.

Go and read a bit about the reality of life as a stripper and then come back here and tell us that we are fluffy.

I'm astonished that in the 18 minutes following ISDP's post, there hasn't followed a deluge of furious misandristic posts. Come on everyone...this thread was really making me laugh..

The Stringfellows "Angels" will all earn that.

Which is where ops dh visited.

Aloiseg
They are a tiny tiny minority in a business that is not set up to make the dancers rich.

Must I remind everyone that some people they can pretend to be liberated and forget that for every super star stripper there's another coerced, another having a cheap fuck with a punter, another drug addled, another peddled in under false pretences and on and on.

Worse than ISDP is his girlfriend. Joining in and pretending to be liberated treating women like a commodity makes me very embarrassed for her.....wonder if she'll be doing the same when she's a grown up.

Urgh.

YANBU Flibber.

Vulgar in every way.

Hands up all those who are sooooo glad that ISDP is not their DP...

[looks around as a million hands simultaneously shoot straight up in the air, including mine]

hmm, £600 isn't that much for 4 really. A bottle of champagne is about £80 in any London winebar, and that's one of the cheaper brands.

There is a spread of earning in any job, but the bottom end is higher that the ceiling of most office jobs.

Why would I need to read about some made up diary of a call girl when I can draw on my first hand experience of strip clubs? Also a good ex-schoolmate friend of mine is a stripper. The poor girl just bought her mum a flat in mayfair for her mum so she can live close to where she does. Also a girl I used to work with is a stripper, happily married, with a kid, they have sust come from a holiday in Dubai (her husband is a chef in a pub btw).

Like I said, in hindsight I should have gone into less detail about my view and just offered the author the "upshot" of what I wanted to say, that would have spared me from the "burn the witch" style of comments. But my sincerity in what I have written for the Original poster is genuine.

Yabu. Loose some weight and give him a lapdance at home, he likes real women, so why be insecure??

We did this subject at some length with the 'AIBU to think stripclub visits are normal stag do behaviour?' thread a week ago.

ISDP...ah well if she's living in the height of morality that is Dubai it must be a nice trade. Honestly it gets worse. There's more to life than money, self worth cannot be bought or earned taking your clothes off and empowering the weight of your bosses wallet.

Vintage.........do you mean lose?

Dittany,

I cannot understand how a willing buyer/willing seller of any product can be labelled exploitation. Am I exploiting my superior earning power by getting a hairdresser to cut my hair or a waitress to serve me a drink?

Now, of course there are problems in the sex industry, as in any industry (underage kids working 16 hour days making clothes in India, for instance). However, it is possible to address the problems without killing a legitimate business, where some are happy to earn good money. There are male prostitutes/dancers too, you know. Ever heard of the Chippendales?

You may find it distasteful but then I find processed hamburger meat distasteful, but I would not suggest banning McDonalds!

why would you not suggest banning mcdonalds? i would.

"And even if they did, it's still not worth the cash to be degraded and sexually used by the creeps that frequent clubs like that"

Isn't that their call, not yours?! Or do you feel you are in a position to tell women what to do or not to do with their own bodies?

Was I the only person to PML watching Monday's University Challenge? Apparently another name for Dittany is Burning Bush. (It's a plant.)

Dittany: that is a fantastic moniker for a feminist!

They can easily make a 6 figure salary! One of my friends is a make up artist and she often gets asked to work at the better clubs doing body painting and make up.

She gets a fee from the club and then the most enormous tips from the girls. She has gone to their homes to do make up for parties. They live very, very well.

Their careers are short but some of them have made spectacularly good investments.

LarryGrylls, if you had yoyr way you would ban macdonalds.

Otherwise, I generally agree with you honey. Most lapdancing clubs are legitimate businesses and the women employed in the legitimate clubs do so of their own free will. There was a documentary on radio 4 about it and he actually said it is more than their business is worth for the girls to turn to prostitution etc off the back of their business.