To expect a Headteacher to see my point and show compasion and flexibility? When is a mobile phone NOT a mobile phone?

[Yorkshiremix]

So sorry if this is a bit long but I am in need of other opinions, whether I'm right or wrong please.

The background is that I am single mum and totally broke, I mean I'm lucky if there is a spare £5 or £10 left each week after food and bills (not including clothes or clubs or anything nice). So paying for my daughter to go away on the year 6 residential trip has been a major hardship for us, but I did it and she was looking forward to her first holiday in 6 years.

Letters had come home stating no mobile phones were allowed but the kids could take MP3's and cameras at their own risk. I have never allowed my daughter to have a mobile phone, not only can we not afford it but I feel strongly that they are not necessary at her age. A couple of years ago my son (age 21) gave his sister his old mobile phone so that she could use it as an MP3 as she had been asking for an ipod and I couldn't afford it. She has been happily using this as a camera and MP3 now for the past 2 years, never again asking for an ipod. So knowing that it wasn't working as a mobile and was the only camera that we had, as I really couldn't afford even a disposable along with the developing fee, I went to the headteacher and explained the situation asking her to allow my daughter to take it. She refused.

I went home and after thinking about it I became increasingly frustrated, so I sent her an email, telling her that, as it was impossible to use it as a mobile phone without a valid sim card, (it has a very old sim in it to enable use, that can neither call out or call in, in fact if you access the number of the sim and ring it, some random bloke answers, as the sim is that old the number has been reassigned) and therefore it was just a piece of equipment for use as an MP3 and camera and as she was allowing children to take MP3's and cameras, I would therefore have to disagree with her decision and would be allowing my daughter to take it as I had already explained to her that we couldn't afford anything else.

When they arrived, my daughter sent me a letter which didn't reach me until the morning that they were due home, begging me to call her, very upset, the headteacher had taken it from her when they arrived and had refused to let her call me. When I collected her, she was still upset, she was the only child without a camera and had no pictures of her holiday. The head gave it back to her 10 mins before they arrived home, she wouldn't even let her listen to her music on the 3 hour bus journey home. My daughter informs me that many children had taken an ipod touch which, with the right application, can even send emails within a wi-fi area. It was totally impossible for my daughters to be used as a phone.

I am furious, I told the headteacher so. I asked her if she had even tried to make a call on it or call the phone? She said she hadn't. I asked her if she had confiscated any other child's MP3 or camera? She said no she hadn't. I asked her why she allowed all the other kids to have ipods that can email then? She said that she wouldn't be next year (very immature).

Am I being unreasonable to be upset by this? Was she being narrow-minded, lacking in common sense and compassion? In this day and age of technology, why can't she see that a mobile phone can be used in other capacities without being able to make calls, are we supposed to just fill up landfills with all this technology rather than put it to use elsewhere?

Really, what harm did it do anyone? The only one upset on that trip ended up being my daughter. I have demanded an apology, but she refuses.

The amount of work before a residential is phenomenal too for the main organiser, with all the admin and risk assessments. And this takes place alongside the normal teaching load.

Sometimes I wonder why we bother when all parents do is nitpick.

MmeRedWhiteandBlueberry, you are right - the preparation for our last residential trip took us (school admin and msyelf) ages.

I don't think you can underestimate the stress of being responsibe for 30+ children 24 hours a day.

I took my class on an outdoor adventur week (was fabulous). One afternoon I was abseiling with one group when I heard an ambulance siren - I was terrified incase a pupil with another group was injured. The other teacher who was mountain biking with a group assumed one of my lot had fallen off the cliff! ( Ambulance was sounding its siren at an open afternoon in the local school)
I think I aged about 5 years that afternoon.

Mind you, I do think that a well planned residential trip can bring huge benefits to the children

my children are older and would not take these on school trips

The normal hours aren't that bad though. Teachers don't get as much time off as everyone thinks, because of the planning/marking etc, but it's still more than a lot of people, so I think it would be a bit hard to argue for time off in lieu.
I know they don't get extra money specifically for going on the trip, but I was thinking more about extra responsibilities taken on in addition to teaching.
I think lots of people now don't really have regular hours. Everyone I know is doing some work at weekends/evenings, that's just how it seems to be these days.
I think that if the HT is going to have a school trip, she should make it good for the children and I don't think she was particularly caring in this case. I do think she was making a point to the mother via the child.

Well, we don't know how caring she was because we only have one side of the story.

I am a bit that the OP brings up the mobile phone issue ahead of the alleged bullying of her child.

We all give our opinions based on the assumption that the info provided by the OP is correct. I got the impression that the bullying has been a long term problem, while the mobile issue was a separate dispute. Agree that the bullying is the more serious.

karma - yes, plenty of people work outside their "normal" hours - DH does, and he's not a teacher. I don't want to turn this into a teachers-are-hard-done-by thread, but you must remember that, on a residential, the teachers are literally "at work" for 24 hours a day from the moment the coach leaves school to the moment it returns. If one or two seemingly petty rules help that, then I think fair enough.

And you don't get extra money for this kind of thing - teachers' responsibility points are for teaching and learning responsibilities only. The days of getting extra points for running trips or being in charge of the mini bus are long gone.

If the OP's daughter is being bullied because she is different then surely her having a phone with her could make things worse.
The kind of girls being being described wouldn't go to the teacher and say "Why does little Yorkshire Mix have a phone", they would go home and tell their parents how unfairly they are being treated and get their parents to come in and complain. In the meantime they will tease her because she can't even get a proper phone.

None were allowed on my DSs trip and limited amount of money. Head should have banned all of them because these things have a habit of getting lost, the teacher could have took pictures of the class, that would have solved that one. It's her last year, I wouldn't make a fuss now, let it go.

The whole point of the trip was to make them feel independent away from home to help with their transition to secondary school.

IMO YANBU. I agree with Tabliope.

I am a teacher and if this had occurred on one of my trips I would have probably either let her take the phone or find her a camera. All schools have them. If not a school one, I would have found one from a friend of mine.
Music is, I think, less important on a trip like this, but I still probably would have lent her my ipod. But then I was the child without at school and probably have more empathy than other teachers.

Incidentally, are you aware that EVERY incident of racist bullying (no matter how small) must be reported by the school to the government? If I were you I would be compiling a thorough complaint detailing all bullying that your DD has suffered during her time at the school. It sounds as if it hasn't been dealt with, let alone reported, so I would send a copy of this complaint to school, governors, LA and Ofsted shortly before the end of term.

Good luck with the grammar school, I hope she loves it.

YORKSHIREMINX keep kicking!