to ask people to take their shoes off?

[loopyloops]

... just in one room, the one where DD crawls around. She's at an age where she picks up the tiniest little thing and puts in in her mouth.

Responses I've had (I always explain the reason why I ask them to):

"oh, my shoes are clean"
"I'd rather not, I'm not wearing socks"
"a bit of dirt won't hurt"
"oh but I'll have to put them on again when I leave"

...then there are the people who conveniently forget and you have to ask them every time they come round...
...and those who take heir shoes off but leave their kids' shoes on.

Am I being unreasonable? Over the top? Should I just forget the rule and let them traipse dog shit into my living room?

I actually think it's quite rude to ask people to take their shoes off, as you are making it clear that your carpet is more important than your guest's comfort, but if asked, it is also rude to refuse to remove shoes. I take my shoes off when I go into most people's houses (as in friends) anyway as I am more comfortable in bare feet/socks, but it is a little uncomfortable if it's people you don't know as well, and it is rude to ask (as is the attitude of 'my house my rules' BTW).

I particularly don't like getting dressed up for an evening event, choosing outfit and lovely shoes, then being made to stand around with a bunch of strangers with no shoes on.

I personally don't wear shoes in our house cos it's more comfortable not to, but I wouldn't ask guests to remove theirs.

Also think it's a little paranoid and hyper-clean-freak-ish TBH [runs and hides].

D

No shoes up the stairs or in the front room where the carpet is relatively new. YANBU.

Although, the only people I know who always ask for shoes to be removed are the ones in rented houses with cream carpets! I think it's more a case of doom everything they can not to have to shell out on carpet cleaning at the end of contracts!

I used to think it was really unreasonable to ask people to take off their shoes. Then I discovered how much less sweeping (wooden floors) I had to do if shoes stayed at the front door.

Now I think it's very important for saving me valuable MN time health reasons.

Well, we have light coloured carpets and a crawling baby.

I usually take my shoes off indoors unless it's a party or similar but wouldn't actually ask anyone else to take theirs off. Some people do, some don't. Some ask and get told it's up to them.

We have a very good doormat though!

I don't like the whole 'take your shoes off' nonsense
It seems very un-english to me
I don't want to take my bloody shoes off thanks

I was always brought up to take my shoes off in the house, and I do it as a matter of course in other people's houses. It's not an un-English thing, it's being respectful of other people's time and possessions.

I don`t mind taking boots off in winter, fair enough, I can walk around in my socks,

But in summer I HATE it, as I have deformed feet and kids always point at them and stare, wide eyed, until all the adults do as well. It makes me want to go and hide.

Like I say, if I wear socks I dont mind as its less noticable.

And no, my feet are not the sort that would be "sorted" with a pedicure. Sob.

Mind, I do not, in the words op the OP, "traipse dog shit into someone`s house.

So, as far as I`m concerned: YABU, and a precious pain. That last bit is for the traipsing shit bit, I mean, come on!

I cannot believe people would refuse to remove their shoes when asked to in someones home how rude!!!!

What if you had new carpets?!

I always ask people if they would like me to remove my outdoor foorwear on arrival as a guest.

In NZ it was the the socail norm to remove all outdoor foorwear on rntry to somwonwa house, I cannot believe people would quibble.

YANBU
when I was younger we always had to take our shoes off when we went to other peoples houses, and had to take our shhoes off at our own house to, although this may have been due to the fact that we lived in the countryside and my sister and I were always covered in mud and crap!
I try to get people to take their shoes off at my house, but this less to do with a crawling toddler and more to do with the a cream carpet my landlord thought was a good idea at the time.
of course taking shoes off is a cultural thing also, DD Dad is Moroccan and Him and his family have a strictly shoes off policy.

"it's being respectful of other people's time and possessions"
How so? I am not kicking their china vases over with bovver boots on, or moving slower than a spritely barefooter

If someone asked me to remove my shoes I would assume they were the type to keep the plastic covering on their sofas

mrsruffalo

Because its their carpet and they are the people who will have to pay to replace it after you have walked all over it with your shoes.

They have chosen not to have shoes all over their house.

I once knew a carpet fitter who forbid anyone to wear shoes uin his house - he said it was the worst thing for carpets, to have people walking all over them with the tread of their shoes ruining it and wearing it down and all the dirst and dust particles from outside.

So it's bad for carpets to be walked on?

With outdoor shoes yes!

This was covered in a Times/etiquette column once and I thought the answer was pretty good: 'It is your house. And you are entitled to set house rules. But it is the prime function of the hosts to make their guests feel at ease. I do not think that asking an unexpected guest to remove his or her footwear as he or she arrives (however politely) performs this function. This is an occasion to welcome your guest warmly, and put your customary rules on ice, and your fastidiousness in the cupboard. The golden rule of Etiket is to think of others before yourself and your carpet.'

I have only ever been asked to remove my shoes once or twice. I did so graciously, but inward sneered "Hyacinth Bouquet" much and took the first possible opportunity to ask if their sister has room for a pony.

"Hyacinth Bouquet much?!" that should read...I'm listening to a horror story on Radio 7 all right, it's creeping me out!

YANBU. I haven't got small children and I#m not the most tidy person but I do try and keep shoes out of the living rooms so wold ask People to take thier shoes off, Noone I've asked has ever had any problem with it, So I think you have some very rude friends.

I agree with traceybath.

YANBU, Same has asana I use the cultural difference and I make the kids take off their as well, even if the parents won't make then.
Come on, it is discuting you have been out, walk on dog poos....
I always take off my shoes at people house, even if sometimes they say you don't have too (I keep them if they are with their shoes on)

"disgusting" of course

Having seen the colour of the water than comes out of the vax machine every time I wash the hall carpet i think it's perfectly reasonable to expect people to take their shoes off and not traipse outside dirt all over the carpet.

I won't let people into my house with shoes on. My DH and I have struggled to do our house up with nice flooring so why would we want it spoiled? I must be precious then!

Absolutely agree with kittykitty and that has said far more eloquently what I was trying to say, especially the golden rule bit.

D