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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask people to take their shoes off?

107 replies

loopyloops · 13/07/2010 12:38

... just in one room, the one where DD crawls around. She's at an age where she picks up the tiniest little thing and puts in in her mouth.

Responses I've had (I always explain the reason why I ask them to):

"oh, my shoes are clean"
"I'd rather not, I'm not wearing socks"
"a bit of dirt won't hurt"
"oh but I'll have to put them on again when I leave"

...then there are the people who conveniently forget and you have to ask them every time they come round...
...and those who take heir shoes off but leave their kids' shoes on.

Am I being unreasonable? Over the top? Should I just forget the rule and let them traipse dog shit into my living room?

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 13/07/2010 13:12

@ the image of a policeman dashing off in his stockinged feet if an emergency was radioed through.

diggingintheribs · 13/07/2010 13:13

If I go to someones house I automatically take my shoes off. if the person says it's fine to leave them on I might do depending on what I've walked through!

It does depend on floor surface and culture and this kind of dilemma is just another example of how living in a cosmopolitan country can create confusion when it comes to niceties!!

LadyBiscuit · 13/07/2010 13:19

I don't refuse but I can see why some people might feel very uncomfortable about it

mum2chlo · 13/07/2010 13:24

I do not think YABU. I do not like people walking in our house with their shoes on (we live in a 3 storey town house and our lounge is on the first floor). In the hall and kitchen we have hard floors so I don't care then, but anything "upstairs" shoes off please!!! Most people offer anyway, especially my mummy friends and I always take my shoes off at other peoples houses. The worst culprits are the in-laws when they come over.... so I now have a wooden sign "Please Remove Your Choos"

noraa · 13/07/2010 13:29

plumbers, electiricians, etc dont want to take of their shoes because of health and safety issues (one said)
for those, offering 'overshoes' is a good idea i think.

BonzoDoodah · 13/07/2010 13:41

I think you are being entirely reasonable. It is your house - and for whatever reason you chose you can ask people to take off their shoes. If they refuse then they are exceedingly rude.
I second the person that says give them those plastic overshoes. Look like a plonker in them and keeps your house how you want it.

MeMudmagnet · 13/07/2010 13:41

We have mainly wooden floors, but carpet in the living room and upstairs. I prefer shoes off in the carpeted areas.
My mil is the worst for leaving her shoes on, she disapproves of our "impractical" cream carpets and seems offended when I shut her wet dog out of the carpeted rooms.

Horton · 13/07/2010 13:46

I would always take my shoes off if asked but I really don't like it and would much prefer to leave them on. I don't mind so much if it's carpet everywhere but with wooden or stone floors my feet get cold. And I would be repulsed by wearing communal slippers.

skinnymalinki · 13/07/2010 13:49

I dont have ANY friends who ask me to take my shoes off?!
I would be completely dumfounded if they did.

traceybath · 13/07/2010 13:50

Well its odd for people to refuse if you ask but I do find the whole 'take your shoes off' thing a little odd.

And lordy - if someone has dog shit on their shoes obviously I wouldn't let them in the house.

bibbitybobbityhat · 13/07/2010 13:51

It is good for babies and all of us to be exposed to a bit of dirt.

You people who are constantly cleaning your houses are doing your children no favours whatsoever in terms of their resilience and immunity.

piscesmoon · 13/07/2010 13:59

These threads run and run and no one changes their mind!
I hate it-especially when the foor is cold. I can't see why the state of the floor comes before friendship. You can clean floors!
It is all rather Hyacinth Bucket where no one wants to visit because it is all so pristine.
I think that idea of the person giving you slippers to wear is revolting!
I just take them off if asked but I would never do it-I think it rude to ask.

BuzzingNoise · 13/07/2010 14:02

It's polite to take your shoes off in someone's house.
I don't accept 'oh, but you've got dogs and they don't take their shoes off' as an answer either. If my guest wishes to lick his shoes clean then he can keep them on

traceybath · 13/07/2010 14:03

Its a class thing isn't it [runs from thread and hides]

Horton · 13/07/2010 14:06

at tracey!

Original poster
loopyloops · 13/07/2010 14:08

Ooooh hold on a minute, my house is far from pristine. It is only one room that I have this rule in, as that's where DD spends most of her time.
Most people I know have it throughout their houses, but those who don't seem to really object to it.
Is it such an issue to take your shoes off? Really?

OP posts:
skinnymalinki · 13/07/2010 14:11

A long time ago, my sister went to meet her boyfriends Mum for the first time.
At the door the Mum made her take her shoes off and asked her to put on a pair of slippers. There were 5 different pairs and sizes of slippers at the door.

Now I realise in some cultures this is perfectly acceptable and we wouldnt think twice about it, but this was not one of those situations.

slushy · 13/07/2010 14:18

I hate taking my shoes off and to be honest so would you my feet stink, but if asked I would not complain and I would remove them and run to your bathroom and nick some of your smellies for them .

Ryoko · 13/07/2010 14:28

Not unreasonable I don't want people wearing shoes in any part of my home, if people refuse to take shoes off when asked they don't respect me or my home and thus can fuck off.

Druzhok · 13/07/2010 14:28

I think people should respect the rules of the house they're in. I do always prefer to be in the house of someone who doesn't mind if you wear shoes, but I like people to remove theirs if they can. Just because I don't like cleaning floors, really.

mum2chlo · 13/07/2010 14:29

To MeMudmagnet - it sounds like we have the SAME MIL!!!!! Is there a MIL finishing school they all go to or something? Sorry off topic......

Druzhok · 13/07/2010 14:30

Oh yes, my friend had really strong smelling feet ... I kind of wished she kept hers on, despite the fact I was irritated by her doing so the previous visit.

slushy · 13/07/2010 14:45

I would make sure they smelled of roses second visit though Druzhok, and wear open toed sandals to make sure they did not smell .

MumOfAPickle · 13/07/2010 14:50

I don't get the shoes off thing either. The only person I know who insists on it is my MIL but then her house is immaculate and mine, quite clearly, is not.

I just can't imagine asking people to take their shoes off - would feel a bit rude to be honest. Its just a little bit like your carpets are more important than your guests feeling comfortable in your home - I just wouldn't want people to feel awkward the second they walk through the door just on the off chance that I might get a bit of dirt on the floor.

In terms of the baby crawling around, I really wouldn't worry about it at all. Don't you let her crawl around in the garden/park?

Also, at the moment everyone's walking round in flip flops so their feet are all grubby, surely this is just as bad.

Oh and btw I would never refuse to take my shoes off just be a little bit about the person asking.

Asana · 13/07/2010 14:54

I ask people to take their shoes off as DH is Scandinavian, 'tis the done thing in Scandinavian countries and I have to respect his culture (obviously, this is the reason I give if pressed on it, as opposed to "It's because I don't want your manky shoes in my home"). Culture somehow wins out every time