aibu and a lazy bitch!!

[Hai1988]

To get up at 6 every morning and get ds's breakfast put the telly on and go back to bed until 8

[Eglu]

YANBU. I don't see a problem with it at all. There are always people who a re holier than thou about these things though.

[Hai1988]

Thanks for the advice bread, i have tryed this and he just gets up again and again, how do u get a child to stay in bed if he just wants to get up and play.

I am attually quite that you think of this as neglect!!

This morning i attually had to get him up cus he was still asleep when i got up at 7, but thats only cus he woke up at 3am cus we had a power cut in the night and he woke and didnt have his night light on.

But dont think waking him up at 3am every moring is the best solution

[clam]

I hardly think objecting to getting up at 5:30 in the morning with your child translates as "not wanting to spend time with him."

Jeez!

[Hai1988]

right just to let you know i am not running away, i have to get him from nursery now, will be bk on later

[Dropdeadfred]

If this is every day then for 14 hours a week your son is alone with only the TV for company.

[Dropdeadfred]

nursery? ahhh so you're no alone wih him 24/7 then. You do at least get a short break whils he is at nursery

[WinkyWinkola]

I've done this a couple of times but not telly - a dvd like Finding Nemo that ds1 was entranced by.

I think it's fine for a child to watch tv alone. They can play alone. They can watch tv alone. It's not neglect. Neglect would be leaving him alone in the home watching tv for two hours.

Would you say it was neglect if the child was reading for two hours? I know he's not yet five and probably can't read but he knows where his mum is.

Neglect is a very strong word and this is not neglect.

But you could start to train him with this:

I've found it works most days. I tell my dcs they can't get out of bed until the sun is up unless it's to go to the toilet. The sun is set to come up at 6.15am before that neglect word gets rolled out again.

[tabouleh]

Hai1988 - is it your DP that want's him to be quiet in the mornings?

Can you come back over to your thread in Relationships you had some good advice there about contacting Women's Aid.

[Librashavinganotherbiscuit]

"and a form of neglect imo."

Oh my good god.

[breadandroses]

You have to put him back to bed with no fuss. Would you consider having him in your bed to help him go back to sleep? The warmth and security may help him drop off?

I think you may have to accept getting up slightly earlier than you'd like- you may well fing that in a few weeks when the sun rises later, he will start to wake up later.

[breadandroses]

Find not fing

[Carbonated]

Hai when I was talking about middle class mothers I was referring to other posters with their pony japes etc.

It sounds like there is more to this than just the OP....I hope you are getting some support with it all elsewhere.

[BubbaAndBump]

I think the pony "jape" was ever so slightly tongue in cheek carbonated

[AgentZigzag]

A form of neglect??? Fucking hell bread, you've got a weird opinion on what constitutes neglect.

[Carbonated]

Yeah I know. Maybe I'm just over sensitive as the middle class and pushy bits apply to me, if not the wealth

[diamondsandtiaras]

it's not neglect. If she were old enough I may do the same with DD1 if, for example, I'd been up all night with the baby and was exhausted. I don't think I would make it a daily occurence though tbh......I'd be more inclined to go to bed earlier and get my extra sleep in that way.

[corriefan]

I don't see what the prob is if you're both happy with it. If he wasn't he'd be in your room pestering you. Other kids may be more high maintenance, enjoy it while you can!

My kids have learned not to disturb us til 7. If they wake before then they can play in their room (by the sounds of it they like to play stamping games) and they charge down to us when the clock says 7.

At weekends/ holidays if we haven't got much planned we try and get them to stop jumping on us by putting the TV on and encouraging them to eat fruit (no prep needed) until they start demanding proper breakfast.

[GypsyMoth]

well the switches/socket comment was because hes 4.....you say 'why would he touch sockets'?? well you can ask him after he's experimented then!! do you think they wait untill mummy can catch them before they touch and fiddle with things???

[cluckyduck]

Is he at school?

[lecce]

I think it's an insult to those children who really are neglected to describe this situation as neglect.

Two hours is a bit long on a daily basis but, having said that, I agree with the poster who ponted out that fewer people would see it as a problem if he were playing or reading.

As for safety, as the op points out he's 4 so easily old enough to know not to play with sockets or just to have lost interest. Ds,3, has never once gone near a socket, not all kids do this. At 4 he doesn't need watching all day and accidents could happen any time.

I would see if you could catch up on your rest at other times and maybe get up with him at 7, but if doing this is getting you through a difficult time then don't worry.

[wonka]

Would he not come in to bed and have a snuggly snooze with you.. buys me another hour usually..

[runnybottom]

pmsl @ "do you not want to spend time with him" !! Not at 6 a fucking m I don't!!

[Dropdeadfred]

I don't think it is neglect as such..but do think that is isn't nice