AIBU to have judged this pregnant woman?

[DetectivePotato]

Went to FILs party on saturday night. Spent most of the time sat outside as it was very hot inside. Serveral times a heavily pregnant woman came outside to smoke.

I don't care if I get flamed, told to mind my own business etc. I am judging and then judging some more.

I am an ex smoker btw and know what its like to be addicted.

YANBU

YANBU! My BIL's W has been puffing away throughout her pregnancy and being pregnant myself and an ex smoker I can't help but feel judgemental! I have never said anything to her face as its not my place too but find bitching talking about it to my other SIL my DH very rewarding!! Ultimately if its simply a sign of someone whose desperately selfish, but their the ones who will have to deal with the repercussions of possible medical problems in the child and themselves in the future! So no YANBU and glad to have a rant with you!! Cheers!

YANBU I will probably get flamed too, but I hate seeing pg women smoking, dh has a cousin who smokes and gets drinks regularily(sp) while pg winds me right up!

When I was pg with dd2 they were worried she was too small, I came out of appointment to ring dh, I was so upset and there was another women heavily pg sitting on the pavement in her pjs telling her friend about a clot at her placenta and smoking I was

Glad you feel so superior.

I'm an ex smoker (& heavily pg).

Cant blame you for being supprised to see a pg woman smoking, but I think it is wrong to look down your nose at her.

YADNBU!

Why is it wrong Corona??

A heavily pregnant woman smoking is putting their unborn baby's health and well-being at risk for their own selfish reasons.

I would feel like a better mother than that person because I would NEVER do anything that could result in my baby's growth, development and health being damaged whilst they're growing inside me.

OP - YANBU. It makes me feel sick to see pregnant women smoking.

oh god MN is as bad at the Daily Mail sometimes

whatever, not your problem

was she drinking too?

Detective Potato - I'm also guessing your pregnant lady did not do the smoking test thing the midewifes are offering as discussed in a previous thread! Nothing more scary than a midwife having a go!

YANBU at all

Is there a smoking test when you are pregnant? I gave up way before being pregnant with DS as you can't have IVF on the NHS if you are a smoker. We didn't need IVF in the end but it was enough to make me give up.

My SIL works at the hospital and she said there are always pregnant woman outside at 6am smoking away. I just feel bad for the poor babies who could end up with problems because of it.

I stopped the minute the pg test went blue, as didn't know before hand (was a week late!). I am sorry if there are people who think MN is judgey, but there are other solutions to smoking such as nicotine patches if you really must. So yes I will sodding judge and be superior and I am afraid I can because I was a heavy smoker who has stopped immediately!

YANBU, when something happens to SIL or child because it will whether it be slightly higher blood pressure, smaller baby etc etc tax payer picks up the bill whilst selfish carries on smoking. Am assuming rather judgily that many of you are tax payers!

Glad others are happily judging with me.

I can understand your discomfort, I really can (I've never smoked and think it a disgusting habit for anyone) but ultimately its her body. Where do we draw the line - if you see me pg drinking a glass of wine, eating a piece of brie, going on a fairground ride, doing a stressful job, picking up a heavy box?

Because you dont know her situation/circumstances.

I would never want to do anything to harm my Dc, but with this pregnancy I have taken diazepam on occasion.

Now I am past 37wks I will not take it (have read that it can cause breathing probs for baby if taken too close to birth) I smoked 2 last weekend rather than take pills.

My Gp and psyc nurse both say that the odd cigarett will harm my baby much less than the anxiety attacks and I should do whaterver it takes to stay in control.

I realise that not every pg woman who smokes has mh problems, but my own experiance has taught me to be a lot more open minded.

When I arrived at the maternity dept in labour with DS1 I was greeted with 2 or 3 heavily pg women outside the front doors smoking. I was equally shocked and saddened.

YANBU - sadly it is none of your business, but is hard to to judge or to feel sad for the babies who have no say in the matter.

"My Gp and psyc nurse both say that the odd cigarett will harm my baby much less than the anxiety attacks and I should do whaterver it takes to stay in control."

Sorry to hear your situation CoronaandLime, but surely there are other less damaging solutions to controling anxiety than cigerettes? I find it bizarre that any professional medic would condone ciggies but each to their own

Although I agree that smoking during pregnancy isn't great, you also have to look at some odd circumstances - I quit smoking when I found out I was pregnant, but had a really rough time a couple of weeks ago and did have a couple of cigarettes to calm me down, it was impulsive and I haven't done it since.

what I'm saying is that this may have been a one-off for her, for all you know she may have just had some terrible news, or she may just have not wanted to quit as you believe, just wanted to point out there may be a reason for it.

I was told by a MW (albeit 10 years ago), that smoking fewer than 5 cigarettes a day hadn't been proven to be a risk.

Which isn't to say that I think it's a good idea, but if I saw a pregnant woman smoking I would probably assume it was an occasional thing. One or two cigarettes here and there is unlikely to be an issue. There are riskier behaviours to get all arsey about. YABU.

Well you are entitled to finf it bizarre, and I assure you that medication or cigerettes have been the verry last option for me.
I'm not sat here chain smoking. I'm talking about 2 cigerettes in my case, so I dont think that my baby has been harmed by smoking. Thats not to say that I feel great about it though.

YANBU(ish) I try extremely hard not to judge when I see a pregnant woman smoking... but I fail, I judge... I do, smoking when pregnant is rank. But then again, I expect many people who saw me have 3 pints of shandy on Saturday evening thought I was drinking pints of beer and judged like nobodies business!

YABU but i understand why you would feel this way but it really has nothing to do with you

Its thats womans body and baby an it is her decision to carry on smoking if she wishes.