So wish DS wasnt allergic

[penguin11]

DS had playdate today - despite telling the mum exactly what he is allergic to, he was given nuts accidentally in a biscuit :o( ...good news is he is just wheezy and covered in hives. Am depressed, upset and cross and so sad for DS, will he ever just be able to have a 'normal' playdate

meant to be sad face... :o(

Your poor DS - hope he feels better soon. A friend of mine has a son with severe nut allergies, he's now a strapping 6 foot+ teen, with lots of friends and a good social life. But she has had to make lots of alterations to their life that parents without kids with these kinds of issues have no idea about. Eating out, parties, going to friends etc can be fraught. She was v organised and prepared, knew what brands he could have and what not, and often sent him with packed up food so he could be safe.

awww your poor DS :(

some people just don't 'get' it I think. I'm fortunate my kids only have hayfever, but both dd and ds have friends with severe allergies to nuts, dairy and eggs, and I'm borderline paranoid when they come to visit and check every label thoroughly and if in doubt ask the parents. It's really not that hard though, I just feed them lots of fresh fruit and vege, homemade Bolognese and similar.

Hope your DS is feeling better soon.

I am paranoid about DS and even packed him off with a snack box, meds box, show them how to use the epipen, and write down what he was allergic too...all she had to do was read a see the biscuit had nuts in it. I don't want to stop DS having fun and going to friends houses - but stuff like this makes me more worried and protective. I don't want to be the kind of mum I'm becoming - all freaked out and neurotic. Thanks for messages, making me feel happier thinking of him growing up to be 'strapping' seems and long way off....

What was she thinking giving him a biscuit when you sent things for him? I think that's quite strange. Especially as you talked about epipens and what have you. I wouldn't trust her to have him again.

If it makes you feel any better, I've never had anything like that happen. Usually people are quite worried about the responsibility of it and I end up reassuring them that dd will be fine. My dd had someone in her class whi is anaphylactic to sulphates and her mother says it's a struggle to make people understand its a real thing.

It does get easier because they understand it more as they get a bit older. I could reason with dd and say "I don't know if the birthday cake will make you feel unwell." And she would decide. And they learn that they have to not accept things and ask questions as they get older too.

How old is your son? Once he is old enough to remind other people about his allergies it is helpful. My friends son was so good at not just eating random food, but asking for it to be checked first. I on the other hand, also have a less serious (but still have an epipen, just in case) nut allergy and still find myself chomping away at a biscuit and then remembering I really ought to check the ingredients!

It will get easier. My son has an epipen (didn't get it until he was 14). His first visit was to a friend's house - his mother was a dietician and I still worried! Once they are older it is easier and their friends can be helpful too. DS was eating a large slice of cake I had made as he had some friends here (glutenfree, milkfree, eggfree but looked completely "normal") when one of them said "Hey, are you sure you should be eating that?".

He's nearly 6, he understands his allergies, but does trust adults will check stuff for him.

Think I'm feeling especially down about the allergies.

I'm not normally so negative, and know it could be so much worse

Thanks for your messages
xx

Your posts are reassuring

I think his allergies put people off inviting him on play dates, and then part of me is quite relieved that he doesn't have many - awful isn't it