What does alcoholic liver disease look like please? I’m concerned.

[practicemakes]

A friend , despite all of our support and best efforts , is drinking upwards f a litre of vodka per day and has been doing this for over a decade. She has lost her marriage and children to this horrendous disease. She does not want to give up alcohol but I’ve noticed that the whites of her eyes are now a bright yellow, her skin has red angry rashes, she has lost a lot of weight and her limbs are skin and bone, like they’ve wasted away.
I know that she has been told from the doctors that her liver is not good but that was a few years ago.
im so worried and scared for her as the decline seems extreme
andnshe looks decades older than her fifty years.
what can I do ?

She has also started to say things out of her usual character like she doesn’t care anymore and she is also saying hurtful comments to loved ones and this is not when she is actively drinking.

All you can do is support her and encourage her to see a doctor, she sounds very unwell.

There’s nothing you can do. I’m sorry your friend has made these choices but it’s entirely up to her. It does sound like she’s dying, frankly,

It would s a helpless place to be . Why don’t say you think it sounds like she is dying? Is this what end stage liver disease looks like?

That sounds advanced she must be very scared, poor thing. Nothing you can do unless she collapses and then you can call an ambulance for her.

Your friend has alcoholic jaundice and possibly the start of korsikoffs syndrome (alcohol related dementia- you dont have to be old to get this) if her personality is changing even when not drunk. She requires a medical detox urgently and large infusions of B12 to prevent further brain damage.

Unfortunately, unless she is willing to accept help I am afraid this doesnt sound at all good for her

I had a friend die from liver disease alcohol related. He was such a brilliant person. He worked with NASA on the Challenger space craft and after it crashed he turned to even more alcohol. He died at 43 years old leaving a 6 year old and a 4 year old. He got to a point where he said he couldn't stop.

An alcoholic will be physically dependent on alcohol at a certain point, so withdrawal needs to be medically managed.

I'm so sorry, OP, this must be very hard. Its such a tragic waste of life.

I’m sorry to hear about your friend. It sounds like her liver is failing and when this happens, it sometimes affects a person’s mind which might be why she is saying things that are out of character. Will she not accept any help? Does she listen to anyone? If not, there may not be much you can do. If you think she is becoming a danger to herself, you could ring 999 and see if she can get help or attention that way but if she isn’t willing to engage, there is only be much point. Good luck.

Sadly, she will die. Her body is showing that.

I’m sorry- I have lost two close relatives to alcohol addiction- it’s shit, but unless they have an epiphany before it’s too late, all you can do is be the best friend you can be.

She seems resigned to her fate. She absolutely refuses any medical care and isolates herself so she can drink insisted presumably. While it’s not my business, I often wonder what happened that she got to this level of addiction. Up to fifteen years ago, she enjoyed a drink socially . She then began to enjoy a drink at home at the weekends and then the volume of the drinks increased . She has a great family and friends , although she has lost most of these now . She was contented 😌 or so she said . I don’t understand what happened.

Well she's definitely got liver disease if she drinks over a litre of vodka a day for a decade.

In fact you can get it from drinking more than three alcoholic drinks per day over several years.

So yeah. She's obviously very unwell. If she doesn't quit and seek help she will die from it. Absolutely certain of that.

I'm so sorry. I hope she finds the strength to get help. She obviously can't just quit abruptly. That can be really dangerous.

Her brain isnt working properly - you are viewing her situation through the lens of logic, she is viewing the situation with a brain that is severely damaged from booze. She probably cant even tell you why she is doing it at this point - she's too far gone.

There are organisations to help support family and friends of alcoholics.

It seems generally accepted that not much can be done for an alcoholic unless they instigate it.

You may find Al-Anon a helpful place to get support (for yourself not your friend).

Hi OP, the jaundice means the liver is no longer able to filter out toxins. Is your friend very tired? Getting drunk on smaller amounts of alcohol?

Some years ago now, I was admitted for hospital detox with yellow skin and eyes. I was told I'd likely have died within five days otherwise.

I lost a family member recently to alcohol addiction, they died within a week of becoming jaundiced. Just slipped into a coma at home.

Have a google of your local drug and alcohol service - your friend needs urgent hospital treatment.

This is just awful. I feel powerless and I’m not sure that her family that cannot be around her anymore realise how bad things are. She has hurt them all so much through their young lives . I’m worried they won’t get to make their peace before she gets worse because she certainly won’t accept help. It’s hard to not get involved and sit back and watch this unfold. It’s like watching a car crashing in slow motion

https://al-anonuk.org.uk/

family groups offer help for family and friends.

I’ll be brutal. Brother’s friend was an alcoholic most of his life, tried to stop but drink pulled him back in. In mid to late 40s he had a large part of his liver removed, presume he had liver disease. Even then I think he was still drinking. He passed away in his late 40s. Was on the phone to my brother in tears frightened about dying. Liver issues got him. Unlucky but sad. He did it to himself. Addiction sucks. Nice guy too.

She needs to want to get help. AA would be a start.

Gosh that’s sad. My dad was an alcoholic for many years died at 50. Didn’t help he got peritonitis and then divorced and then lost both his parents in his late 40s. Plus his house and kids. Something must have happened in your friend’s case?

You ARE powerless though. You cannot save her and neither is it your responsibility to fix her - nor is it her family's responsibility. I am quite sure they know how bad it is but the one thing I have learnt from working on detox wards is that love isnt enough to save someone else.

You can adore someone, you can tell them you love them every single day of their life but unless they love and care about themselves and want to change then it wont happen.

I know many addicts whose families absolutely loved them and they still refused to engage in the help they were offered.

What does the future look like at this stage , physically , if she continues this level of drinking

If she carries on like this I'd give her about 6 months. (and thats optimistic)

Six months. That’s horrid. I don’t know what happened . She was and is loved beyond measure but it didn’t matter . She has been lucky not to kill herself with driving, accidents and incidents through drunkness. Her husband adored her but he had to leave in the end as her kids begged to go and she was a liability in the home. Her kids don’t talk to her anymore. She’s lost her work, her family, her friends, her sisters . What a cruel master alcohol is .