What does alcoholic liver disease look like please? I’m concerned.

[practicemakes]

A friend , despite all of our support and best efforts , is drinking upwards f a litre of vodka per day and has been doing this for over a decade. She has lost her marriage and children to this horrendous disease. She does not want to give up alcohol but I’ve noticed that the whites of her eyes are now a bright yellow, her skin has red angry rashes, she has lost a lot of weight and her limbs are skin and bone, like they’ve wasted away.
I know that she has been told from the doctors that her liver is not good but that was a few years ago.
im so worried and scared for her as the decline seems extreme
andnshe looks decades older than her fifty years.
what can I do ?

The ambulance won’t take her unless she is a prepared to go, or if she is unconscious. My dad drank himself to death. The ambulance wouldn’t take him because he said he don’t want to go and was deemed to be of sound mind. My OH had to pick him up and put him in our car. I drove him to the hospital and he still died 3 days later after refusing 2 ambulances in a week when he was home.

Does she answer thr phone or call anyone

A friend I had lost touch with re-entered my life when her husband left and took the kids as she was an alcoholic. However, she was in denial.
She was dried out once, in hospital, after being admitted for something else and managed to stay off alcohol for about 6 months, or so I thought ! She was caught drink driving and was found guilty. I went to court with her and afterwards dropped her off home. I never saw her alive again. A few days later I asked the police to do a welfare check, as I could not get in touch with her. Police broke in and found her dead (result of a massive alcoholic binge). This happened only a few years ago and I still think about her and how it got to that stage. She was popular, attractive, had high flying jobs , seemed to have a happy relationship, was confident etc. At the end she had no one. Alcohol addiction is a cruel disease.

Thats awful, sorry you had to go through that.

thank you. It still haunts me to be honest. They had to resuscitate him when we arrived at the hospital because his hearts stopped as we arrived; they asked me if they should resuscitate him (because he looked so unwell). I said yes but I often wonder if I should have said no. He just had 3 days of hell in hospital. How could I have said no though?

My husband's cousin is an alcoholic, and has been in rehabilitation several times over the years. He's dry for a few years and then slips back downwards again. Unfortunately, it's not just alcohol for him, it's drugs too. He's been told that his liver is in dire straits too. Sadly, his Dad died in his early 60's from alcohol related complications. My FIL is also an alcoholic, and he's suffered from a stroke and alcohol related heart failure. Both are still drinking.

There is nothing you can do to help your friend. She is in a dire situation and needs medical help. She has to want to stop drinking, in order for any medical intervention or therapy to be a success.

It's all very sad.

what can I do ?

Honestly @practicemakes very little at all, she knows if she seeks help it will mean stopping drinking and she isn't willing to do that. One thing you could do is let her Ex DH know how very unwell she is, not with the expectation of him doing anything, but so he is prepared when the inevitable happens and can support their children.

Sadly, there's nothing you can do. I lost a good male friend to alcholism. He was a good person but could be obnoxious when very drunk and he, too, drove people away, including me eventually. I drove past him one day and noticed his face was maroon in colour. I thought to myself that he really didn't look well at all. Three days later, he collapsed and died of a massive heart attack. Alcoholism is a horrible disease.

@ByWiseExpert it’s not risky. It’s not an appropriate use of emergency services.

Just splitting hairs at this point - Just trying to think of ways to help op

Yes, her face is dangerously re, bloated and patchy and looks like she has a rash or blemishes . It’s odd .

You wasn't to know. I would probably have done the same.

Hi @practicemakes

This is incredibly sad and sounds like she may be nearing the end.

My partner died of alcoholism 4 years ago at the age of 41. He was a well loved and talented person too, but the alcohol took away his entire life.

My advice would be to just try and show her as much love as you possibly can. It's not really worth trying to talk to her about alcohol at this stage. Perhaps just reminisce about some fun times you've had in the past.

Give her a big hug if you can. Just let her know you're always there.

She may pass away any day. My partner went very quickly once he'd lost all the weight and become yellowed. It was a few weeks.

I'm so sorry

Thank you

@practicemakes If you have not been in touch with her for three weeks because she has not responded, please have the police do a welfare check!

Sadly I think she’s at end stage liver disease. is her tummy extended? Which can last up to two years from when you enter that phase, but of course for some much sooner.

She can prolong her life but she needs to stop drinking and detox, and that sadly sounds unlikely, the only other option is a liver transplant, which won’t happen.

have you spoken to her , since you saw her 3 weeks ago, I think I would try, as hard as it is.

i know someone who died due to this, it was a horrible death which I won’t go into, and involved one last final binge. I don’t know how aware he was when it happened , so possibly more horrible for the person who found him.

i also worked with a woman who was an alcoholic, and she was in a very bad way, she was such a lovely and kind woman, but so so unhealthy just looking at her, the puffy face, bloated body, patchy skin, bleary eyes. I moved on from that work place and later heard she had died soon after , she was in her fifties, and it made me very sad.

I also worked with a man who was an alcoholic. He quit and got sober, but I watched him at a social event with a hangover, he drunk a bottle of wine, gulped it down, refilling his glass immediately, within about 4 mins. And the more he drank, the righter he became. It’s like he because normal functioning again.

wifh alcoholism, it’s not like you or I, we may have a few, feel rough, know when to stop etc, with alcoholics it is from what I can see an undeniable physical craving, every part of them wants and needs that drink when it deteriorates. They need that drink just to function and so it’s very hard indeed.

Brian Clough face

He had a liver transplant, went onto raise alcohol awareness then died from cancer. His wife also had cancer, your post is unkind.

Agree you should call a welfare check if you haven't heard from her in 3 weeks. You could always go around beforehand and see if she answers the door or if you can hear movement inside.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/alcohol-related-liver-disease-arld/symptoms/

https://britishlivertrust.org.uk/information-and-support/liver-conditions/cirrhosis/

Even if it’s advanced liver disease it can be treated but she needs urgent medical care and/or AA.

Does she speak to anyone at all ever? Who are they? I would as nicely as I could, break in. Preferably with medical professionals. So what if she’s angry?

I’d find out when she leaves the house and pop round bump into her. Would she go for a coffee with you? Or a drink? Pretend it’s a drink. Maybe someone from AA could be at the cafe.

My dad died suddenly at 50 (sorry if I’ve said before) from enlarged heart heart attack. He’d been an alcoholic most of his life, had got divorced and left the family home. I was sort of in touch with him but not to the extent to suggest a gp appointment with him re his heart. We all expected him to live to an old age so a big shock when he died. So very sad. 😔

Dad had no idea he had an enlarged heart. Looked after himself health wise but not re drinking. Still worked and lived in shared house, had girlfriend. When I met his employers, a local couple by chance (I popped round to his house he wasn’t in, i was directed somehow to their house or they were there) they said how lovely and hardworking he was. And he was. He was just an alcoholic.

Has anyone seen or heard from
her since you saw her three weeks ago?

I would agree with other posters and ask for a welfare check if the answer is no.